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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

IWBU but by how much?-waiting in a disabled space?

267 replies

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 19:59

Mitigating circumstances:
Waiting for a family member who has recently had serious surgery and can't walk far, or stand for long and isn't supposed to be out in the cold/wet to come out of the doctors
I knew she was on her way out so would only be there a few minutes at most
The only other available spaces were on the other side of the car park
There is no designated waiting or pick up area, and narrow lanes/one way round the car park meant nowhere to pull over and wait without blocking any other drivers
There was more than one disabled space so I wasn't depriving anyone of the ability to park
I waited in the car and would have seen if the other spaces became in use and would have moved to allow a bb holder to park in mine if need be

I pulled into the BB space as it seemed the most sensible thing to do at the time, but in the maybe 2 or 3 minutes I was there (same song was still playing on the radio) 3 people came past and gave me dirty looks. So how unreasonable was I to have used the BB space to pick up my family member?

OP posts:

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 21:43

In this instance it wasn't harming anyone.

That's what they all say, Bear, and maybe in this instance it didn't, but in most instances it does.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 21:44

... a genuine reason for it then it's not a major issue.
But that's the whole point, it IS a major issue.

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 21:45

Its only not going to end well because so many people in the world are so fucking selfish.

It is never okay.

Not even if there are 100 spaces and you have two broken legs and your elderly nan with you. Nor when you just pop to a cash point or to get a loaf of bread. Nor when you have a snotty nose and dont want to hang around outside. Nor when you have kids. Nor when it is raining or snowing or a fucking tornado.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 21:50

I second what Beyond said.

Unless you are disabled and you have experienced the inconvenience (well it's a lot more than that) of people "just waiting 5 minutes" in a BB space, then you will never understand.

Bearbehind · 07/11/2014 21:50

why is it selfish if you have 2 broken legs and your eldery nan with you, you have a disability?

Really, I get that some people take the piss and I can't imagine how frustrating that must be, but if you're not depriving anyone else and you have a passenger with a disability, and you can move if required, is it really such a big issue.

Original poster

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 21:52

I get the point about a disabled person not being able to get out of the car to let me know they needed the space... But I kept my eyes open and no one appeared to need the space by which I mean the only couple of cars that came in pulled straight into a non-BB space, they didn't drive up to where the BB spaces were , it was obvious my engine was running and if anyone had pulled near in their car been looking to see if I was just arriving or just going then I would have moved.

I didn't wait for her to come out and then driven over to pick her up because the space I pulled into was the space I would have had to use to pick her up (the choice in parking near the entrance is either park in one of the BB spaces or block access to ALL the BB and quite a few non BB spaces too), as it was I was there maybe 30 seconds - 1 minute longer than if I had waited for her to appear before coming over.

I do understand that her (hopefully) temporary problem doesn't trump a long term condition at all. It just seemed like I could minimise her discomfort without inconveniencing anyone else at all.

OP posts:

Fiddlerontheroof · 07/11/2014 21:53

Yes, it is a big issue.

Original poster

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 21:54

hedgehogs that's something I hadn't considered, it's true.

OP posts:

o0 · 07/11/2014 21:54

See, excuses.

But sarcasm aside I do hope your family member is on the mend and feels better soon.

RustyParker · 07/11/2014 21:58

YABVU

I have a blue badge and the amount of times I see people parked in disabled places without displaying a blue badge has literally reduced me to tears sometimes (I'm finding more frequently it's the posh car owners who are guilty of this so their shiny, expensive cars don't get damaged I presume )

You do realise the abuse we get if we ask someone without a badge to polite move to another spot even if we were able to get out an check every space to see who maybe didn't have a badge? I'm sorry your relative is temporarily having problems with their mobility but it's a completely different kettle of fish when you are having to deal with disability full time on a long term or permanent basis, planning your every journey on where you can park / access places.

My blue badge has recently been renewed but there was an error meaning there is a 2 week gap from when my old one expired and my new one started. I was told they could issue a replacement (which would take me up to 3 days short of when the new one was due to start) or to quote the person at the council "Could I try and get by without it" [shocked]

I'm equally shocked at posters who use bbs saying as long as the last one isn't taken it's ok. Lovely "I'm alright Jack" attitude, so long as you get your space.

I've signed the petition Beyond thanks

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 22:02

Sorry, does two broken legs have a knock on effect on job opportunities? Does two broken legs mean that people discriminate against you in other ways? Talk down to you in shops, ask the person pushing the wheelchair what you want? Does it mean that the cost of living is higher, permanently?
No, it's a temporary inconvenience. It may be difficult, it may be painful at times but of course a permanent disability is a bigger issue. It's not just about being able to access a bb space, it's about the relentless fight with people trying to justify their use of such, day in, day out. Somedays my dd doesn't want to go out, 'I can't face the fight for a space today, Mum'. She's eighteen years old. Try justifying it to her.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 22:02

some days. Apologies.

pissinmy2shoes · 07/11/2014 22:06

yabu
no BB no parkey in bay

hazeyjane · 07/11/2014 22:10

Silverlace. I am shocked by the parking attendant at the hospital you went to, we have been in a situation where we were unable to park in the disabled spaces with ds when he had dislocated his hip. I would have been mightily pissed off if I had found out that some of the people parked in the disabled spaces were non bb holders!

FrancesNiadova · 07/11/2014 22:11

Oh yes Dawn I really hated it when I was in the wheelchair & people would say to my DH,
"Oh, how's she doing then?" Arrrrrghhhhhhh!

Original poster

CrohnicallyAnxious · 07/11/2014 22:14

dawndonna I have to admit that sort of thing hadn't occurred to me. I was focusing purely on the physical ability side of things- as it stands my relative's ability would entitle her to a bb but for the fact it's not expected to last over 6 months. She is expected to be impaired for around a year, but not at this level. So at least we have her recovery and small gains every so often to look forward to.

So I'm sorry, and in future I will try my hardest to accommodate her without using a BB space however temporarily.

OP posts:

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 22:15

Bear If you have a passenger with a disability you would more than likely have a BB. If you don't have a BB then you can't park in a disabled bay. It's not rocket science.

Stclares · 07/11/2014 22:16

I wonder whether the people on the op's side have family or loved ones who are disabled. I suspect not. They don't see the problem. It really saddens me.

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 22:17

hazey I was thinking the same thing. If I saw a parking attendant directing non-BB holders to a disabled space, I would make a formal complaint.

Dawndonnaagain · 07/11/2014 22:19

chronically it takes courage and grace to apologise publicly, thank you.
(You made me sniffly)

Sixweekstowait · 07/11/2014 22:22

OP - you are being vvvvvvvvvv fucking unreasonable. For one thing you were acting as an exemplar to all thos fuckers who think it is all right to use bb spaces without a bb. ' oh she's doing it, I can do it'. I am sick and tired of having to tell people to move and being treated to abuse or even worse, they are not even there to be told to move because they've gone off for just for 5 minutes' . I am in a foul mood tonight so I just want to say to all of you fuckers that think its ok that I hope you end up needing a bb as that's the only way you'll ever understand what we experience. Take my space - bloody wish you would take my fucking disability. Don't you think life is hard enough or do you all enjoy making it just a bit harder for us? You selfish selfish selfish thoughtless .....

BeyondPreparedForHell · 07/11/2014 22:22

crohnic

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 22:22

Yes, well done for apologising Crohnically. I wish your relative well.

Sixweekstowait · 07/11/2014 22:23

Op - crossed posts but the rest of you who think it's ok, what I posted stands

TheFairyCaravan · 07/11/2014 22:23

She's apologised Bourdic!

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