to even be considering this (private school related)?

[pickledsiblings]

40 minute drive to a Park & Ride

20 minute bus journey

10 minute walk

Would I be insane to consider doing this with my 7 year old as a daily commute/school run (and the reverse journey home again)?

School is a-maz-ing and just 'round the corner from potential new job.

Is it possible to move closer? seems a lot of effort each day.

Think about those days when the rain is horizontal, the wind's at gale force 9, you're late leaving the house, you have to park right at the furthest point at Park and Ride, the bus sails past you full to the brim - are you getting the picture? . Move. Just move.

I wouldn't do it as you'll be knackered and your child won't have any friends that live near them.

Really really tiring, in the long term. Definitely something that could contribute to your child trying to wangle days off.

I wouldn't do it.

The school day can finish late following prep. Id take this into account as that journey sounds quite long....

Are you thinking of moving nearer at some point.

Assuming you get the job, are working full time and your child would be going to after school activities until you finish work, that makes for a very long day. By the time you get home there wouldn't be time for much beyond dinner, bath and bed. I agree with those who say move (or look for an equally amazing school closer to home).

Thanks for the comments. We can't move as other DC go to school in the opposite direction. School is one of a kind unfortunately. Yes my DC would be staying in after school club. We would leave at 7.10am and return 11.5 hrs later .

I would move rather than do that journey. think of the reverse - you walk and get on a bus and then have a 40 minute drive before you even get in the door.

The school may be amazing but what are the schools with less brutal commutes like? If they are slightly less amazing or even pretty darned good just not amazing, I wouldn't do it. A 2 hour plus commute every day would be grinding.

sorry didn't see that you can't move. God I think you'd find that very stressful - grinding on a daily basis If your 7 year old has particular gifts/needs/whatever that only this school will meet then maybe give it a shot and see how it works out for a term.

We are looking for high schools for my dd at the moment (in US). There are some amazing schools that would most likely accept her but they are an hour's drive away. I just couldn't disrupt our family life for a school no matter how good. I know someone who lives nearby who did and she has spent the past 3 years on the road and complaining. not for me. there are schools almost as good close to us.

Well, in that case, I don't think you are unreasonable to be considering the school, but you are absurdly optimistic. You and your child are likely to be exhausted by the length of the day and the slog of the commute.

Are you even sure your child would get a place at the school?

There is another factor: I would only be able to take job if DC go to school there. The alternative would be to pay a childminder to look after DC until I get back (although DH would be at home some of the time so the childcare arrangement could be ad hoc). That's probably more hassle than it's worth though.

MaudantWit, there is a good chance that my DC will get a place at the school due to a change in the schools intake this year.

Too many stages. Is there a private bus service you could use with other families in your direction? I used to have a long commute as a child and it wasn't a problem, but we were just sat on the school bus. It wasn't an hour each way though. That's a lot for your dc regardless of your work commute.

DC has no special needs, school is an independent day school consistently in the top 20.

I was hoping to do 20 minute drive, 40 minute train and 10 minute walk as I thought the train might be fun but it so expensive, £30 per day for the train alone.

Zen, I know what you mean about too many stages. Another possibility is to drive all the way but parking will be expensive. Saying that, I've seen that someone nearby rents out their driveway for £100 per month which isn't too bad I suppose.

pickled if your local schools are utter crap then maybe but just to go from a good school to a super school, I wouldn't do it. your child will be exhausted and so will you. Is there any way you could drive there in one shot - even that would be better than the multi-stage commute. Still, I know a lot of people who commute an hour to work and an hour back and every one of them hates it - and these are adults listening to radio/books on tape.

I think I may well know the one you mean (or a school very like it if I'm mistaken). If it is the same one, I use the P&R to get to work, and the traffic is routinely horrendous. That drive plus bus plus walk might easily routinely turn into 40 mins drive in heavy traffic plus twenty mins waiting at P&R as two over-full buses go ahead of you before even getting on, plus up to 50 mins in heavy traffic bumper to bumper on the bus. (The 10 min walk probably remains about the same though).

Anyway, that's my daily experience of a routine Park & Ride journey in the kind of city that houses schools in the top 10 national league tables within 10 mins' walk of the bus stop. Even if it's not the same one as you're thinking of, I'd suggest getting a really good sense of the traffic problems first before you decide. Cities with P&R have them for a reason, and the reason is normally horrendous traffic problems - and of course the buses get stuck in those too. Oh and beware extra parking charges going up all the time

I'm thinking that driving there and parking may be the best option. There is on street parking fairly close but it's a city centre so gets congested.

I couldn't take the job unless DC moved schools. Job would enable the paying of fees which couldn't happen otherwise.

penguin, that's exactly why I wanted to get the train. 10 minute walk after 40 minute train journey on top of 20 minute drive. Still pretty horrendous but at least no getting stuck in traffic. Will check again in case I've calculated the costs incorrectly.

Thanks for helping me to work though this everyone.

Costs are slightly better at £21.60 per day for the train bit. Still a whopping £3K a year though.

I'm afraid that would be just too much for me. 70 minutes, assuming all goes well, each morning and each evening? You'll both be wrecks by the end if Wednesday, and dd is only 7. It might end up impacting her weekends, if she gets over-tired.

I would consider alternatives: car pool, private taxi company to drive her all the way, you and DH split school runs...anything rather than this.

FYI from age 11 I used to walk 25 mins or wait for/get bus for 25 mins, get tube for 35 mins, ten minute walk. It was shattering, although that got better as I got older. The worst part was that all my friends lived near school and I never got to go out with them, not even at the weekends as life just moves on without you.

Unless your DC has very, very specialised needs that cannot be met anywhere else I think you would be nuts to consider this.

It will be miserable for you, your DC doing the commute and probably the other DC who will barely see you and their sibling during the week (and when they do see you, you'll both be tired and fed up).

There are things that are more important that an amazing school. Being happy and healthy are two of the main ones. Do you think your DC will be happier and healthier at this school than one closer to home?

It's far too long a commute at seven, and makes for a very long day. Also, I attended private school for nine years at the end of a long (30 minute by car) commute. I rarely saw friends after school, as most of my friends lived the same distance in the opposite direction from school. I don't think it's worth it.

living near friends isn't as much of a consideration at some private schools, we live 5 minutes drive from DD's school, everyone else lives miles away (rural though and miles from any public transport so we are the only ones in her year that don't drive in)

11.5 hrs is far too much for a 7 year old, would it not be cheaper to pay a childminder rather than school fees plus train fare for DD?

It sounds absolutely awful.