to even be considering this (private school related)?

[pickledsiblings]

40 minute drive to a Park & Ride

20 minute bus journey

10 minute walk

Would I be insane to consider doing this with my 7 year old as a daily commute/school run (and the reverse journey home again)?

School is a-maz-ing and just 'round the corner from potential new job.

[pickledsiblings]

Pinkje, we are semi rural so some size of commute is inevitable.

Walking, DC would stay at same school and other DC may eventually move in the same direction for 6th form.

Houses too expensive in the city plus we love where we live atm.

Does anyone know anyone that does this size commute to school regularly?

[outtolunchagain]

That's exactly what I was going to ask Pancakes ! The traffic is horrendous , I think you are mad especially given the school in question, it's good but not that good , do a search on here under the school name .

I know some who have done similar for Sixth form at Hills Road but not for a 7 year old. Also depends which side of city you are coming I on I suppose .

My Dh commutes over an hour into the same City and it can take as long to do the last 5 miles as the first 50

[Bowlersarm]

OP, have skimmed the thread so sorry if repeating anyone, but the distance is suicidal re friends and teas/sleepovers. We drove 20 minutes to our DC's prep school, and the number of their friends who lived 20/30 mins the other side made meeting up outside of school very difficult. You are a lot further than 20 minutes.

The school day will be exhausting for him too.

[molesbreath]

Gosh this sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it.

You seem very confident you will get this job - thats not meant as a criticism by the way, its just that I don't think that you can confidently say you will get it - can you ?

I used to do a 40 min up to an hour commute for the right school and it was hard - but do-able. After school clubs and activities were sometimes hard to manage, but the children knew and accepted that sometimes they would have to compromise. Bad weather and snow was particularly stressful.

We relocated at senior school and one of my criteria was being a mile away from school !

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

God I'm so confused [maybe I need to drink more coffee]?

Which child does your original post refer to? DC1, 2 or 3?

To summarise what I think your posts are saying
You have been offered a job in the centre of a City approx an hours drive from home with an unhealthy congestion issue. It is a significant pay rise but the commute is a sod. Best idea would be to commute by train to ensure semi guaranteed arrival times.
However, the new job is in the right location for one child age 7 to have an opportunity to go to a highly regarded fee paying prep.

DC1 already does a lengthy commute to school in opposite direction but is happy there. DC2 has a shorter commute, and DC3 a shorter commute again. None of the children have an issue with their commutes and to be fair to you - it's normal for children living in rural areas. School buses aren't known for their speedy transfers.

Baffled as to how they are in three different schools. What a nightmare.

So which child is it?
Why would you send one child to a fee paying school and not the others?
Do you love the job - you are a bit stuffed as you'll have to stay there until DC? leaves the prep
Surely in an ideal world, all the children would go to the same school if possible unless there is a specific skill or need that is not met by it?
Does taking DC? to school on your commute actually make it easier to take the job as their school run is taken care of and DC1&2 can make their own way to school?

If you and DC? take the train to work/school does the combined cost plus fees write off your payrise?
Have you checked out the fee structure v carefully? Adding school lunches and after-school club, plus costs for special clubs can add a shocking amount to the annual school bill.

[Stealthpolarbear]

"ute. Also, my other DC go to school 1 hr (from home) in the opposite direction."

I dont understand why the other dc wouldnt also be going to this amazing school? Is it becase the child you're talkingabout is abt to start juniors?

[pickledsiblings]

outtolunch, it's the school in town rather than on HR. You don't think it's that good?

Bowlersarm, we wouldn't be hosting any play dates that's for sure! But DC could go to a friend's house after school occasionally and I could pick up from there.

We don't often see other kids out of school, lots of parties at the w/e which I guess would be the same.

[Taz1212]

Does anyone know anyone that does this size commute to school regularly?

DS gets a school bus most mornings for a journey of around 1 hour 15 minutes. He does a number of before and after school activities and on those days he has a 5-10 minute walk to the bus stop (depending on which city bus he decides to take) then a 15-20 minute bus trip, a 15 minute walk to the train and a 25 minute train trip home. With all the waiting around for buses/trains, this journey takes a bit longer than the school bus, but he prefers it and if he had the choice, would not take the school bus. On activity days he gets home between 7-8 and on school bus days he gets home at 5:00. On the 5:00 days he generally has swimming with a local club so it's still a hellishly long day for him!

However, he is 12 and started this commute at 11. I mentioned earlier in the thread that I have a DD who is 9. The only reason we haven't had her apply to her brother's school yet is because we think she is too young for such a commute. She will, knock on wood, join her brother when she is 11.

I think 7 is far too young for such a commute.

[pickledsiblings]

TreadSoftly , I love your post . Original post is about DC3, age 7.

DC3 is currently at local 'Outstanding' State Primary School.
DC2 is currently at local 'Outstanding' State Middle School (soon to transfer, but where to?).
DC1 is at our County's top achieving Independent Senior School (with hefty scholarships I might add).

Does that help?

Job income would pretty much all go on school fees and transport for 2DC.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Back home just before 7pm. That's the killer isn't it, the lateness of the hour. It would pretty much be tea/bath/bed.

It's the norm for plenty of kids with both parents working. They might get home a little faster but it's pretty much tea/bath/bed every night.

I did that sort of commute at uni. Dad drove, I snoozed in both directions. You can do the same if you are both on the train, or a bit of homework. As an adult though it's knackering.

All this guff above about the other commutes is a bit silly though. My DD's school is just over a mile away. We walk there in the morning, takes 30 mins [a little less if she scoots and I jog in flats], then have to wait 15 mins for the next train to work [which is a PITA] and on a good day I get to work at 9.30. 9.45/10am is not unusual depending on train delays.
DD's "commute" is an hour a day, walking. I don't think she is remotely hard done by as a result. 30 mins in a car to primary school simply means that your friends are probably getting 30 mins extra in bed in the morning and it's more of a faff to be taken to parties.

[pickledsiblings]

Stealth DC2 couldn't go as wrong sex. DC1 could go but is very very happy at current school.

Tread, I meant to say, yes, you are right about DC3 coming with me making it easier to take the job. If DC3 stayed at current school, who would pick up? DH could do it some of the time as he works from home mostly but DC3 would be 'home alone' until at least 5:30 when siblings get back. Oftentimes DC3 has to go on the 1.5 hr round trip to pick up DC1 twice a week.

[pickledsiblings]

Taz do you think it makes a difference that I will be accompanying 7 year old DC? I have visions of us spending quality time together chatting and reading on the train.

[Hakluyt]

What about homework, music practice, hobbies, friends, parties? What happens when they get a bit older and want some freedom? How will you manage parents evenings, performances, rehearsals, sports training, detentions, meeting friends at the weekends? What happens if you are ill or break your leg?

My older one had a 15 mile commute- a 15 minute drive then a 30 minute bus ride then a 15 minute walk. It was fine in year 7 but became increasingly difficult as she got older and did more things. And all of the things listed above were problems on occasion during the years.

[Sockstealer]

I think you're crazy to even consider it.

Nobody would have any life.

There's nothing wrong with state school or more local private school.

If you can afford to shell out on top private schools you could get a good tutor to come in.

Quality of life comes before money and top education, and you can still get a great education while maintaining some balance.

[outtolunchagain]

The schools in Cambridge are good but they are , in my opinion , not so good that you would do that commute for them .

[Taz1212]

Pickledsiblings For me it's more the length of the commute at that age, rather than having a parent with them. DS gets up at 6:30 and then needs to be out of the house at 7:10. On the public transport days, lots can go wrong. His city bus actually drops him at his father's office and he phones his father to see if he's still at work and if so, they get the train home together. However, sometimes he's had to wait ages for a bus from his school or there's been traffic tie ups (we won't mention the day he slept through his bus stop...) and he's been too late for his father to hang about. The train can be late or cancelled and on one memorable day, all train service had been completely suspended!

DS thinks it's all fun and a great adventure and takes it in his stride, but I think his 7 year old self would have found it utterly exhausting.

[pickledsiblings]

outtolunch, it's either

(1) the commute that I have outlined + good job for me
(2) stay at local primary for another 4 years + no job for me
(3) no option of private school at 11 if (2)

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

I have visions of you listening to DC3 whinging about being tired and bored.

This is DC3, how on earth are you still wearing rose tinted spectacles??




I think if DH can do pick ups most of the time I'd leave DC3 at the school s/he's at and find alternatives for the times he can't.

See how the job/commute goes by yourself for a while, you can always change next year.

[Got99problems]

Sorry if you've already made it clear, but why can't you get the job and have a childminder to mornings/ after school? Much less tiring IMO to be at local childminders than travelling for such a chunk of the day.

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Why can't you take the job if you don't change his/her school?

Also, it's not true that you wont get a place at a private school at 11 if they are in state school until then.

[Got99problems]

Also, is the job guaranteed if you get a place at the school - are they related? Or are the place at school and the job two separate issues which might not come together? And what if the job wasn't all you expected - would your DC then have to move schools again?

[pickledsiblings]

Hakluyt parents' evening and performances etc for DC3 would be fine, there has to be some benefit to working 5 mins away from the school.

One thing I haven't mentioned is that whilst DH works form home most days, should he choose to go to the office, he would be going in the same direction as me (only 30 minutes to DC3's potential new school). This could come in handy as he could pick up DC3 early some days etc.

[Hakluyt]

I was puzzled about that too- surely if the ne job would pay school fees it would certainly pay for a child minder or a part time nanny?

[ColdTeaAgain]

All sounds ridiculously complicated and exhausting. You'd have no quality time together during the week. Would be a rushed dinner then ready for bed to do all again the next day. Sorry but no money in the world would persuade me to live like that.

Where we live is semi rural and there's not much playing out/riding bikes or anything. DC are pretty much house bound when they get back from school.

Why don't they go outside after school? Am baffled by that comment!

[pickledsiblings]

To answer the last few questions, job and school not related (just in my mind).

Could use childminder, have been SAHM so never needed to before.

No private school at 11 due to no funds due to no job :)