to even be considering this (private school related)?

[pickledsiblings]

40 minute drive to a Park & Ride

20 minute bus journey

10 minute walk

Would I be insane to consider doing this with my 7 year old as a daily commute/school run (and the reverse journey home again)?

School is a-maz-ing and just 'round the corner from potential new job.

[pickledsiblings]

He is not bored at school, teacher says he has a fantastic attitude to learning, school has no concerns. If he was my PFB I would probably be very happy with things as they are. Having 2 other DC means I see it through a different lens I guess.

[pickledsiblings]

It's not so much achievement, more ambition. I want DC3 to aim high.

[LIZS]

Too much for a 7yo , save it for when he is older and can be more independent.

[Viviennemary]

Don't even think about it. What about when it snows and there is an hour wait for a bus. It would be madness even attempting this with a seven year old child. Just move closer to the school. Or keep him in state school till he has finished primary school and then consider private. I know you have other things to consider. But if the question is 'is this commute feasible' I'd say that it wasn't.

[ChippingInAutumnLover]

Remind me again, as I am not scrolling back! Why he can't go to a private school in the same direction as the other two go to school and possibly travel with them next year?

[MarshaBrady]

I'd just focus on the commute part, rather than is it the right school part.

I think it will be hellish. And I only do a very small one in comparison, 10 to 15 minutes drive there and back. Plus 5 minute walk from parking on a side street. So usually all up 45 minutes round journey. And it's enough.

[ATailofTwoKitties]

Well, having spent part of half-term listening to a Perse Girl weeping frantically because she was worried that some of her latest results might be below the expected A standard ('but you don't get it, they say A isn't good enough!') I might be unfairly biased towards the idea of letting a happy coasting child just, y'know, coast happily for a while longer at 7.

*Not my child. Mine was the one looking at her friend like at the thought of A being inadequate, though a bit more ambition wouldn't come amiss there...

[Tierradelfuego]

OP loves this particular school and hopes to get a job nearby Chipping.

He sounds fine where he is tbh.

[MarshaBrady]

I understand being attracted to a school and thinking (nearly) anything is possible. But then the stress of being stuck in traffic as school time approaches. Depends on what the reality of the commute is like.

[jellybaby25]

Why do you want your child to go to a private school? Have you thought about the ethics of private education? (totally wrong IMO)

[GColdtimer]

Well then pickled if all is well I honestly cannot see why you would do this.

He is 7. There is plenty of time for ambition.

[pickledsiblings]

Chippingin, DC3 could go to same school as other two if I had the funds to finance it. Unfortunately my job prospects are best in Cambridge. But fortunately there is a super duper school right next to my potential place of work that DC3 could go to. It's all sounding a bit like Good News, Bad News, isn't it :)

[alpacasosoft]

Im totally baffled now- you only want your DC3 to be ambitious

or do you only think he will achieve it at this school?
If he is happy and not bored at school I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?
Surely this is what we all want for our DC age 7- to be happy, flourishing and to enjoy their childhood.

Mine had the happy relaxed childhood and achieved highly.
It concerns me that a 7 year old would be subjected to this much stress.

[Chandon]

I think the best way to find out is to do a trial journey there and back, with the child, so you get a "feel" for it. Also how bad traffic is. So maybe take a day off on an "inset day" with him, to try out the journey.

If you think this is absolutely the best school possible for him, it is a hard idea to shake!

I moved my children out of poorly preforming state school to a lovely private school, and I am so glad I did. But I am not sure I'd be doing such long journey happily in all weathers IYSWIM.

Make sure you have investigated all the alternative options

[pickledsiblings]

I can feel myself being talked down. I love how happy go lucky my DC3 is and would hate to ruin that.

ATailOf I hate that pressure that young girls put on themselves. I hope it doesn't come from the school. Friend said that the school was concerned that her DC wasn't making as much progress as they had hoped (after a 1/2 term) so they are putting extra help in place. I seriously can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing.

[DownyEmerald]

Haven't read whole thread, but this is basically my work journey that I do two days a week, on a flexi-time job. I wouldn't do it full-time. The P&R bus (Bristol), although it is more reliable than it has been in the past, isn't reliable enough for a kid to school/possible late for registration territory. The buses break down occasionally, just don't turn up occasionally, drive off when I am literally less than 10m away quite often. And school is more than school hours - it's concerts, parents' evenings, special assemblies, school fairs, sports days, plays, sports matches ......

And when they change contracts and the bus companies change - it's a couple of months of mayhem before it settles down and reliablity changes.

Although having said that kids (secondary) do use it - going home anyway - I don't go in early enough in the morning to see if they use it in the morning.

I also think it's too long for a 7 year old.

[titchy]

You're making no sense now. If you can afford the school next to your potential place of work you can afford to pay for him to have a much easier commute with your other two.

[alpacasosoft]

OK I finally get it!
Currently you cant afford DC3 to go to the same Independent that siblings go to.( sorry I got confused and thought one was in state as well as youngest)

If you got the job it would be possible.
But you have seen this fabulous school.
How will your older DC view their sibling being advantaged /chosen in this way??

[pickledsiblings]

alpaca, other DC are ambitious, so that's fine. (Is that what you meant?)

[alpacasosoft]

It kinda came across that you had extra high ambitions for your DC3 over others .

If they are really doing well I would look for job, then move DC3 at 11 to the same school

or if DC 1 and 2 will be out of school and onto 6th form by then I would move DC3 to Perse then if you really have your heart set on it ( you could buy nearer with school fees saved in the mean time ,less commute for all of you)


Im not helping am I

[pickledsiblings]

titchy, there would be over two hours driving between me and other DC's school if I took job in Cambridge. At least if youngest commuted with me, eldest wouldn't have to be responsible for two younger ones.

Older DC's school is pretty good, we are very happy with it. But it is still a 10 minute drive plus 1 hour school bus journey away. Or on nights when there is an after school club (twice a week) or concert, a 1.5-2hr round trip for either me or DH and sometimes DC3 if no other parent around. And there is usually some associated driving at the w/e (sport today/music tomorrow).

As you can see we are seasoned 'commuters'.

[pickledsiblings]

Ok, DC1 will be in the 6th form (maybe in Cambridge?) by the time DC3 is 11. I could send DC2 to a school in Cambridge too. We could commute for a few years and then maybe move nearer.

We toyed with the idea of living down the road from DC1's school and sending DC3 there when 11 but it's not a very pretty town (although the area we would live in is nice. Cambridge is exceptionally pretty although we couldn't afford to live in a lovely part.

Where we live now is lovely and there is no traffic so driving is not a pain on the whole.

[titchy]

But being two hours away from the older two doesn't bother you so why is it an issue for all three to be two hours away? And why would the older ones have to be responsible for dc3 if he is on a school bus? Not that there's anything wrong with kids looking out for their younger siblings...

What's the issue with leaving dc3 where he is and moving him at 11?

[alpacasosoft]

Gosh it sounds hellish to me- 2 hours to pick up from after school club!

I walk or cycle everywhere and so did/do DC .
It makes me feel exhausted thinking about it.

[pickledsiblings]

Wouldn't mind 11 year old hanging around waiting 'til 6.10 two nights a week for older DC (it's not ideal) but wouldn't want younger one to. Younger two could come home on bus at 4.20 but I wouldn't be around to pick them up!

If DC3 stays at same school then I wouldn't work as too much hassle arranging ad hoc childcare (DH around quite a bit of time but not always). Not to mention all the after school activities. There wouldn't be the same job opportunities for me if I left it for 3-4 years.