to even be considering this (private school related)?

[pickledsiblings]

40 minute drive to a Park & Ride

20 minute bus journey

10 minute walk

Would I be insane to consider doing this with my 7 year old as a daily commute/school run (and the reverse journey home again)?

School is a-maz-ing and just 'round the corner from potential new job.

"Hakluyt parents' evening and performances etc for DC3 would be fine, there has to be some benefit to working 5 mins away from the school."

Whwt about for the other two? I am getting increasingly confused- can we have some sort of flow chart, please!

This isn't only job left in the country you know! I'm sure between the years of your DC3 being 7 & 11 you could find another one.

But for godsake, just do what most of the rest of the country does, take the job if you are offered it and organise wrap around care for your child. Where it's not commuting a stupid distance to achieve precisely nothing.

It would be monumentally stupid to move your child to this school, an hour away from home, in the opposite direction to your other children, for a job for you.

pickledsiblings
I find commuting into London easier than commuting into that town - even though I am only 10 miles from it! But the schools are very good. I would not consider it for a 7 year old, but would for an 11 year old for secondary school.

I don't understand why you can't get a childminder for after school, either?

ColdTea, no pavements so not good outside in the dark. Lots of playing in the garden/fields in the Summer months. I tend to pick DC3 up after school currently where they play around with friends for about 30 mins before going off to an activity (choir/violin/swimming). These activities would have to happen in house at the new school or at the weekend I guess.

Thank you for keeping up everyone. The overwhelming consensus seems to be that IABU.

Why not take the job and get an after school nanny? Seems the perfect solution to me.

Ok - that's a lot clearer [plus I have finished my coffee now]

In your shoes, with three children who appear to be exceptionally lucky with their schools I would be inclined to take the long view on fees:

Assuming there is an actual way to get all three DC to school if you take the job, then I would take the new job [and get the train]. It would be worth establishing now when they offer the job to you whether or not you can work from home one day a week or do a flexible hours arrangement 8-4.30 for example. You won't see your kids in the morning but you could be home in time for dinner.

DC3 is currently at local 'Outstanding' State Primary School with a nice normal commute in the same school their siblings went to. It's presumably good if DC1 got into a great indy school from it and you don't say that DC3 needs any additional support so I am assuming not.

DC2 is currently at local 'Outstanding' State Middle School (soon to transfer, but where to?). Apply for the same scholarships as DC1, but the school may well give a bursary or partial scholarship because they are siblings. Use your additional income to top up fees if required.

DC1 is at our County's top achieving Independent Senior School (with hefty scholarships I might add).

Your DC3 is in a v good school and is happy there? A higher income gives you and your DH more flexibility with schooling options for DC2 and DC3 in time.

I would only consider it if you were going to be taking DC2 and DC3 into the City every day or there is a real issue with wraparound care for DC3 if you take the job. An au pair who can drive your car or after school babysitter/nanny would give you a lot more flexibility though.

Middle school is a new one on me - is that 11-14 or does it cover GCSE's too. By Senior school, is your DC1 heading towards A-levels? If so, it won't be long before an additional car and insurance becomes necessary/desirable.

Just my view - def take the job though :) It's a beautiful City.

I think you need to separate out the two issues.

1. If you are offered the job, do you want it / will you take it.

Then:

1. With new job under your belt, what is the easiest way to make the home/school logistics work. If DC1 & 2 are fairly self-sufficient then it may well be easier for DC3 to commute with you into the city for school. Or if the logistics of DC1 & 2 mean that you need to have someone around at home (mothers help or similar), then it may be easiest for DC3 to stay at school near home.

I think some of the earlier replies may have been complicated by not taking on board the work thing. On paper, it's a long commute with a 7 yr old, but if it means 2 more hours a day spent with you, and helps your logistics, and means that you're near to school for plays/assemblies/parents eves then it may well be the best option.

Sorry - huge cross post. Off to read and come back

The point that many of you seem to be missing (or maybe not, maybe it's just not an important point) is that by taking said job I will be able to afford to send my DC to a fabulous school. No job, no fabulous school.

Those of you saying wait 'til 11, I'm not very good at delayed gratification, so the job with all the hassles of wrap around care etc would not be worth it imo. Both DH and I would prefer to maintain the status quo.

Another option is to send all 3DC to pretty good school (Independent) that DC1 is at. This would be just as hellish for DC3 as lots of hanging around waiting for the others etc.

Arrrgh

Ok so not house bound at all then

Just can't see how all that running around to tight schedules would make you all happier than you are now.

So DC2 and 3 can go to the same school as DC1, but DC2 can't go to the school in the centre of town [gender and age presumably].

My advice/view:
Take job
Leave kids as is for this academic year
Send all three to the same school in September [DC3 won't be doing any less hanging around than she would be in the City]
or
get a driving au-pair and send DC1&2 to same school, leave DC3 in local primary

We live rural and commute into town. For last 8 years kids have done a 35 minute commute each way, but in September we decided to go 'au-pair free' and stick them on the school minibus, leaving house at 7.05am (instead of 7.40).

We only lasted 2 weeks before the kids were begging to switch back, and a further 2 weeks before I found it impossible too. Getting the kids out of bed 30 minutes earlier wasn't the easy switch I expected, and there was never any time for last minute homework after breakfast, so I had to force them to do homework late in the evening after judo/tennis, etc, when all they wanted to do was chill out before bed. I had imagined they could do their homework on the school bus but it never worked out - they complained of feeling sick when they tried to do this, and the stop-start of traffic meant they dropped pens and lost rubbers, etc. it just didn't work. And I cringe at the number of times in such a short period that I had to bundle them out of the door with bacon rolls in their hands because we'd simply run out of time. And I am a ruthlessly organised person, so it was a shock to me too (twice in this period I ended up shoving tights, toothpaste and jewellery into my handbag because I ran out of time myself despite rising at 5.30 every day). I also shuddered every time the kids took thir cellos/saxes to school as other kids chucked kit bags and hockey sticks and backpacks on top. I can't even imagine getting child plus sports bag plus book bag plus cello plus onto/off of public transport.

I could have kept it up, no problem, but the effect of this long morning commute was that the kids effectively lost all of their 'down time' - there was no spare time in the morning to chat or catch up on music practice/homework, and there was no spare time in the evening because we had to switch to night time showers instead of mornings. And they were exhausted, too, so even their 30 minute reading in bed sessions disappeared because they fell asleep whilst reading.

What would I do if I were in your position and you loved the school? I'd either hire a driveway and cut the commute time or I'd hire an au-pair to drive us there and back every day (and use her for other stuff too).

What i definitely would not do with a child this age (mine are older) is even think to do a public transport bus/walk/train/whatever combo.

It dawned on me yesterday I spend 3 hours a day getting my child to school, me home, back to school then home again. No other options though.

Is it a specialist job that you can only do in this location?

It all sounds awful to me. I spent my secondary school years on a bus in almost stationary traffic for about an hour each way every day.

After that experience I have pretty much refused to commute any more than a 45min bike ride to work... it scarred me.

I do everything in my power to keep our family in cycling distance of all our usual places of work/school and we sacrifice a lot for that (space, garden) but IMO it's worth it as the most important thing to us is quality of life. We gain hours in every day by being so close.

Thereshall thank you for sharing all that. I have looked at hiring a driveway and it would actually be cheaper than taking the train but wouldn't cut down the commute time due to congestion. That is why drive + train + walk is better. Would still have 10 in walk with driveway option. But at least with that option we would be in our own car which could be better but less opportunity to interact.

Why are you rejecting the after school nanny idea?

I'm blithely assuming it's either Perse or Leys? Suit some and not others. Sod's law says that your child will be one of those that hates it...

What if you lose the fab job though? Not being mean just pragmatic.

I spend 2.5/3 hours per day driving DC's to school and I find that tiring enough without work as well.

My head feels like it's going to explode just reading this thread let alone trying to make any decisions!

Lance how awful!

Have you done a trial run of the train journey to check you will always get seats together?

So basically because YOU want a fabulous job and YOU don't want to sort out childcare, you take your 7 year old out of the outstanding school she is presumably happy at, to do a shitty journey to a fairly good, but not all that judging by a couple of posts here, private school.

You won't be any better off financially as all your salary goes on fees and travel, but you don't 'do' delayed gratification

Sorry I think you're being incredibly selfish to even consider this.

If you are in Cambridge then there are some places you can park for free. You could drop your child, go and park up and then go to work.

If you are working on Hills Road or near it, there is free parking over the bridge, in the side streets opposite Homerton College/Education Faculty. I know some people who work on Hills Road and park there.

I also know that some businesses off hill Road might be willing to rent out their car parking space to you.

There is also free parking in the side streets of Mill Road (BUT again over the bridge).