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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re asking this favour of DD?

140 replies

Weathergames · 30/07/2014 21:49

I am a single parent to 3 and I work full time.

Last week took kids on foreign holiday and have taken Friday off to take kids to Thorpe Park.

Am getting in from work to find NOTHING has been done not even jobs they are expected to do.

Elder two aged 17 and 15 out all day with mates at beach etc younger one is in most of the time.

17 yr old working tomoz so have asked 15 yr old DD to be here tomoz between 12-1 to let in electrician and be here while he does work (1-2 r job).

She is being a right primadonna about it and saying it's the "one day EVERYONE" is going to the beach :(

Am I being a total bitch?

OP posts:
Montegomongoose · 30/07/2014 21:53

No, but it is their summer holiday and they're bound to have different priorities.

Can't you rearrange the electrician?

I would, but I am not of the MN school of thought that my kids owe me big time on the domestic front.

Hope you get it sorted with minimum hassle to you!

Original poster
Weathergames · 30/07/2014 21:57

Reorganise the electrician - seriously?! Hmm

OP posts:
hamptoncourt · 30/07/2014 22:00

Do you know the electrician? I wouldn't leave my 15 year old DD alone in the house with a man I didn't know.

Belini · 30/07/2014 22:00

Don't rearrange the electrician. Teenagers need to learn at some point you can't always do what you want when you want. If she is being overly rude and dramatic, ground her. She will definitely be in for the electrician that wayWink

Mrsjayy · 30/07/2014 22:00

Let her strop she can go to the beach after it is only a couple of hours wont kill her I of the you are a family school of thought you help each other out,

HavanaSlife · 30/07/2014 22:01

I wouldn't reorganise anyone, it's a few hours out of 6 weeks

deakymom · 30/07/2014 22:01

seriously they did nothing? no thorpe park unless the electrician is let in give and take is mandatory in a single parent environment that does not mean you give and they take (the piddle)

Sirzy · 30/07/2014 22:01

I did think the same as hamptoncourt.

But YANBU to expect her to help out a bit

Original poster
Weathergames · 30/07/2014 22:02

Yes I know the electrician Hmm if I didn't I would still get her to let him in.....

OP posts:
HavanaSlife · 30/07/2014 22:02

And they are old enough to be cleaning up after themselves, and doing odd jobs for you

ilovesooty · 30/07/2014 22:03

This shouldn't be a favour. It's a reasonable expectation that she helps the household to run smoothly in my opinion. It's not as if you're asking her to miss a big one off event.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 30/07/2014 22:03

I'm with you OP- why the bloody hell shouldn't your kids help you out? It's only one day out if a six week holiday. YANBU.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 30/07/2014 22:06

Don't reorganise the lecky guy.

I have a 19 year old dd. I have spoilt that girl, bent over backwards. Does she give a shit, does she hell.

Nothing you can do will make your dc happy or appreciating. Tie her to the toilet so she can't leave.

HavanaSlife · 30/07/2014 22:07

I lived on my own from 16 and had to let all sorts of people in

MaryWestmacott · 30/07/2014 22:09

give her a choice, he can come tomorrow and she'll have to let him in/stay until hes finishes, or he can come on Friday, and she can supervise him rather than go to Thorpe park with you, what would she rather?

CoffeeTea103 · 30/07/2014 22:12

It's not a favour to you op, are you he only one going to benefit from the electricians service? She needs to learn something called family responsibility, she can contribute a few hours. If she says no, then ground her seriously that's how you get selfish adults.
She's had a holiday and you're still taking her out, a little time for her family will teach her something.

MorphineDreams · 30/07/2014 22:33

I probably would have thrown a strop at this age but saying that I would have soon shut up and done what my mum said, AND I always washed my own clothes as well as my brothers and did housework.

YANBU at all. Sounds like they all need to start helping you more too.

CafeAuLaitMerci · 30/07/2014 22:40

I don't think you are being a total bitch, no, but a tad unreasonable.

Why isn't it enough for the younger one to be home or a key left out for the electrician? If you trust him there with your 15 yo, why don't you trust him there with your youngest or alone?

I think it's a bit unfair to expect someone (anyone of any age) to do something without including them in the planning - just 'dumping' it on them, no matter what/how much you generally do for them.

Andro · 30/07/2014 22:47

I'm torn on this; on one hand YANBU to expect some help and support, on the other hand I would not have been comfortable at 15 being the only person in the house with a man other than close family/friends despite being accustomed to interacting with strangers.

Andro · 30/07/2014 22:49

^^I'd would have wanted an adult I trusted there.

Mrsjayy · 30/07/2014 22:52

He is an electrician not freddy kruger the op knows he is going to be there what do people think will happ

Mrsjayy · 30/07/2014 22:52

Happen

burgatroyd · 30/07/2014 22:55

She's old enough to let the lecky in. Yanbu

EverythingCounts · 30/07/2014 23:01

Seriously, so all handymen are rapists now? 15 year olds can't be allowed to be alone with anyone other than family or close friends? I take it these same 15 year olds are never allowed out in the evening without a chaperone then?

I think it's fine to expect a 15 yo to take that level of responsibility, and given that she hasn't done her assigned household chores, I certainly think she should do this task for you.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 30/07/2014 23:01

Not every man is a paedophile or a sex crazed lunatic FFS.

How old is the youngest?

Middle of the day is a bit annoying for anyone, and I usually try to organise trades visits for first thing or last thing. Was this the only time he could come? Anyways I wouldn't re-organise at this stage. I'd expect one of the kids to help out, like you OP.