AIBU re asking this favour of DD?

[Weathergames]

I am a single parent to 3 and I work full time.

Last week took kids on foreign holiday and have taken Friday off to take kids to Thorpe Park.

Am getting in from work to find NOTHING has been done not even jobs they are expected to do.

Elder two aged 17 and 15 out all day with mates at beach etc younger one is in most of the time.

17 yr old working tomoz so have asked 15 yr old DD to be here tomoz between 12-1 to let in electrician and be here while he does work (1-2 r job).

She is being a right primadonna about it and saying it's the "one day EVERYONE" is going to the beach :(

Am I being a total bitch?

And there would be serious sanctions for not doing their chores.

You are not being unreasonable at all.

If everyone really has arranged to go to the beach it's a shame your DD can't go. I'd try and rearrange things. But I think you should expect some support though.

YANBU. My DSs don't do much around the house at all (my own fault, I've never made them) but DS1 has had to wait in on a few occasions this summer for deliveries etc. He is 16.

One day out of 6 weeks is hardly unreasonable.

EverythingCounts

You clearly read the post I made given that you referenced it, so you know very well that at not time did I sate (or even imply) anything close to all handymen being rapists, I said that at 15 I would not have been comfortable in the situation OP described - implying that I don't think OP's 15yo is unreasonable for not wanting to be in that situation.

Maybe it's because I didn't really live in my parents' house from being 12, maybe it's because I took longer to develop confidence in situations like the one in the OP...I don't know. Sex offenses never crossed my mind though, not wanting responsibility for my parents' house at that age would have been my issue.

I do agree that they should all be doing their chores (or facing consequences for not doing them).

YANBU.

At 15 I was working all through summer holidays and I was still expected to do house stuff as well.
(Although I did throw some epic tantrums from around 14 to 16 when anything was requested of me).

A few hours out of 6 weeks will not affect her social standing at all!

I s initially surprised that so many posters feel it is unreasonable for a teenager to be deprived of a few hours out of her six weeks leisure, but on second thoughts I realised that I'm not surprised at all. That is the attitude which leaves you with spoiled, stroppy, self-obsessed offspring, unwilling to contribute to family life.
Of course the girl should stay in and let the electrician in. Once he is in she can sit in the garden if she doesn't want to be in the house with him. When he leaves, she can go to the beach- if it isn't raining.

OK, fair enough Andro - I think the post did imply something like that, as Hearts' response also shows she read it that way too. But I am happy to accept your word that that's not what you meant.

However, I don't think your feelings as a 15 yo seem to really resemble those of the OP's daughter. She hasn't said she isn't comfortable with being in the situation - which would be something to have more discussion about - she's just whined about not being able to go to the beach.

I too would be threatening the Thorpe Park visit if she (and the others) don't pull their fingers out!

Don't tie her to the toilet as suggested though, it's probably too far away from the front door for her to be able to open it.

It's not a favour. She'd complain if there was no power for her devices, etc. 15 and 17 are plenty old enough to pull their weight around the house.

Don't argue or get into discussions about it. Just say: beach tomorrow or Thorpe Park on Friday - her choice, and she has to make it then.

I think that since chores haven't been done, then the only thing to do would stay home on Friday and work on them all as a family. Adults have to prioritise their social life around work and household commitments, teens of that age are more than capable of learning to do the same thing.

My youngest is 12 and is too young and is very socially awkward (he's autistic).

She's not uncomfortable at all (this is a made up issue the guy is lovely and as far as a I know not going to abuse my DD [hmm-]) she is annoyed because of the beach - but we live next to it.....

What indigo said

MN always makes me laugh, some people ignore the problem and think that you can't leave a 15 yr old in with an electrician because he is a man and all men are dangerous beasts!
I think it is perfectly reasonable ask her. You can't do it all.

OMG, surely she can manage to miss one day at the beach? FFS. YANBU.

If you live next to the beach, of course YANBU. She can easily come back to the house, maybe with a friend or two, and then go back to the beach.

I s initially surprised that so many posters feel it is unreasonable for a teenager to be deprived of a few hours out of her six weeks leisure, but on second thoughts I realised that I'm not surprised at all. That is the attitude which leaves you with spoiled, stroppy, self-obsessed offspring, unwilling to contribute to family life

Exactly.

She can go to the beach after, no drama.

Depends what the job is tbh - if it's straight forward, no decisions to make ( eg 'where do you want this switch?') - then of course she should let him in and just catch up with her friends later. Clearly the each is walking distance

But did you give her any notice that she'd be needed - or did you spring it on her after she'd already made plans? I still think she should change them if she did have plans but at least a couple of days notice would have been reasonable.

Nothing to do with whether she's had a grat holiday or done the washing up - she's part of the household and it's a job ( letting him in) that needs to be done and she's the most able to do it

Re-schedule electrician for Friday and they can ALL stay in and wait for him instead of going to Thorpe Park.

YANBU but as someone who works in people's houses we have a company policy that there must be an adult present, I wouldn't work in a house where there was only a 15 year old around.Check with the electrician that they don't have the same policy.

I don't think yabu.

YANBU.
I've got 2 the same age & EVERYTHING is an effort or inconvenience for them. The beach will still be there when the electricians finished.
DS1 no driving unless xy&z are done
DS2 no ferrying to whatever important event.
It works half the time.

Oh, and ignore the ridiculous texts you will receive if the poor chap is more than 3 seconds late.

I would have thrown a strip at this age but only because obviously my world revolved around me at that age .
But I would have done it there's no doubt about that.

So Yanbu.

• a strop not strip damn auto correct.