to feel uncomfortable mentioning this?

[feelsawkward]

Am going away shortly with my DP for a couple of nights to somewhere v expensive/luxurious as a treat for both of us.

It looks, and I'm sure will be pretty incredible and I am (we both are in fact) really excited about going. But I feel quite uncomfortable about mentioning it to pretty much anyone, in fact I haven't told a single person I know in RL, because it costs more a night than some people I know pay in rent for a month and I don't want to be accused of being a show-off/boasting (stealth or otherwise).

DP says we both work hard and deserve a treat, and whilst he's not madea big song and dance about it, he has mentioned it to several people he knows - his argument is that anyone who is a genuine friend, even if they are in a far worse financial position, would be happy for us...I'm just not that sure people's emotions are that straightforward

Ah, so you decided to save the stealth boast for the internet rather than restricting it to your friends

Aw dammit. I was just going to say "in before stealth boast accusations" but too slow!

He's right. But you don't need to tell anyone how much. Just say it's your Bucket List treat for the year.

My BIL and his poisonous wife seemed to understand/accept our stay at Rick Stein's when described like that!!

Where ya goin?

every one who goes on holiday spends more than I can afford [shrug] it doesn't bother me as I am a home body anyway. I don't see why you shouldn't mention it as long as you are not rubbing anyone's nose in it (which I'm sure you won't). I would be happy for you if you were my friend and only pretend jealous!

If they are your friends they'll be happy and want to hear all about it. I would! I'd be jealous too of course! It would be weird to never mention it.

It's only a couple of nights away. Not really a massive deal. Personally I'm more jealous of friends who have financial security / dream job - something long term. But I'd still want to know about it, obviously.

No, honestly I'm just an average person - I shop in Primark/Aldi, and a decent meal out for us is Harvester or Beefeater, I'm not really used to 5 star luxury and whilst I do want to go, I just don't quite know how to feel about it. Feels a bit 'conspicuous consumption' somehow.

Plus inevitably family and friends will find out about it and I am just trying to prepare for/manage the fall out, albeit DP doesnt think there will be any.

I wouldn't tell anyone. I'd say I was going away and if asked where I'd say the area. If pushed I'd say the hotel and leave it at that.

Your DP sounds like a nob. Hate show offs.

I think it's good to be a bit sensitive. If I do something expensive like that and I know a friend is not feeling so flush with money I tend to tone things down a bit or say it was a big treat or something. Nice you're not rubbing your friends' noses in it. If they do ask though I tell them honestly. People's money is theirs to do what they want with it. Some prioritise going out or new cars every year or smoking or whatever so don't feel too bad.

Oh be quiet, you lot. I see no boasting here.

It's natural to talk to friends and colleagues about what you're doing at the weekend, and pretty unnatural not to mention a special event. No one needs to talk money, and I am sure you deserve, and have earned, the treat, enjoy it guilt free!

i am just trying to prepare for/manage the fall out

I think you are massively overestimating how much of a shit anyone else will give.

Even the best hotels do cheap rates- I'd just assume you'd bagged a cheap deal if you weren't generally in that league.

Well said annielouise

It definitely is a bucket list kind of thing. And it is in lieu of a 'proper' UK/foreign holiday.

I think I've just spent so many years being thrifty and bargain hunting (which friends/family know me for) this seems a bit at odds.

I don't see a problem

If people are interested enough to ask where you're going, just tell them.

Where a you going OP? We are all allowed a treat every now and then and why the hell not, it's your money!

You tailor the 'story' to your audience.

Pretty simple, really.

Enjoy your weekend away. :)

Is it Burgh Island? I'd sell one of DHs kidneys to go there.

I agree with your husband on this one.

Please please tell me where!

Link link link!

Have a lovely time!

As others have said just tailor your story to the person you are telling it to. Problem solved

I don't see the point in not telling friends. Surely they know you are cautious with money and this is a rare treat, dp is excited. You can treat yourself from time to time I think.

Well, if it is out of the ordinary you really need to let go and let it all hang out. Enjoy every shockingly expensive second of it. Drink expensive wine, order lobster...

... if anyone begrudges you, sod them, loudly. And ignore the sour puss who called your DH a nasty name, s/he'd join you in your profligacy in a flash if s/he could - we all would, once or twice

It must be a really really rare treat for you to feel so uncomfortable ....

You enjoy it....

Just say you are going away ....if they ask where tell them. I don't really understand to be honest....friends would just be happy for you.

I'm trying really hard not be rude here OP.
But what on earth makes you think anyone will give a shit where you're going?!

If one of my friends told me they were going away to a hotel, genuinely, I can't imagine any other reaction than 'that's nice!' - regardless of the cost.

Do you usually overthink things this much?

Disclaimer - tired and grumpy.

YABU