Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel uncomfortable mentioning this?

132 replies

feelsawkward · 08/07/2014 19:29

Am going away shortly with my DP for a couple of nights to somewhere v expensive/luxurious as a treat for both of us.

It looks, and I'm sure will be pretty incredible and I am (we both are in fact) really excited about going. But I feel quite uncomfortable about mentioning it to pretty much anyone, in fact I haven't told a single person I know in RL, because it costs more a night than some people I know pay in rent for a month Blush and I don't want to be accused of being a show-off/boasting (stealth or otherwise).

DP says we both work hard and deserve a treat, and whilst he's not madea big song and dance about it, he has mentioned it to several people he knows - his argument is that anyone who is a genuine friend, even if they are in a far worse financial position, would be happy for us...I'm just not that sure people's emotions are that straightforward Confused

OP posts:
MagicMojito · 08/07/2014 19:56

Envy Envy Envy

Have a fab time and don't feel guilty!

sebsmummy1 · 08/07/2014 19:56

You will probably end up quite underwhelmed. We went somewhere horrendously expensive for my partners 40th and to be honest it was all coat and no knickers.

SquigglySquid · 08/07/2014 19:56

Tell people. I tell people when I'm going on luxurious vacations and I show them photos when I get back. I saved and worked hard, therefore I deserve a break. If they don't like it, so what?

Trills · 08/07/2014 19:57

It's not unreasonable to FEEL uncomfortable, but hopefully if your friends are good friends they will be able to be happy for you (even if they are envious at the same time).

Assuming you don't owe them any money, and that you don't generally moan about money being tight... Wink

Original poster
feelsawkward · 08/07/2014 19:58

It's a very new hotel in central London. We live out in the sticks so coming up to London is a treat in itself :)

(Had to google Burgh Island, but how amazing is that!)

OP posts:
BookABooSue · 08/07/2014 19:59

Tell us! Then you get to enjoy talking about it without worrying about upsetting your friends.

MagicMojito · 08/07/2014 20:00

fairy13 that WAS a very grumpy post Grin
made me laugh though

happystory · 08/07/2014 20:00

Oh ffs sebsmummy piss on her fireworks, why don't you?

Bearbehind · 08/07/2014 20:00

I agree with sebmummy if it's in the UK I can't think of many any circa £400 a night hotels that would be worth it.

The more you pay the more you expect and it's not unusual to be disappointed by it all.

Is it a well known place- I'd never heard of Burgh Island (now googled) for example- so your friends might not be impressed by it anyway.

MrsSchadenfreude · 08/07/2014 20:00

Does it begin with R?

If so, a friend of mine is the manager - you will have a fabulous time.

swooosh · 08/07/2014 20:02

Just tell them you are going to London. I doubt anyone will ask what hotel.

Limeandice · 08/07/2014 20:02

london??

is that it

if someone told me thats where they are holidaying i would not be jelous at all
plus i would have thought it wouldnt be too expensive as its uk

Bearbehind · 08/07/2014 20:04

If it's in London then why do you need to specify which hotel- there are hundreds it could be.

If it's a new hotel would they even have heard of it?

wonders how a very new hotel can be on a bucket list

SaucyJack · 08/07/2014 20:05

I doubt anyone will know or care how much your hotel room cost- unless you go out of your way to run their nose in it like you're doing on here

bohoec · 08/07/2014 20:05

Oo, is it the Shangri La at The Shard?

Have a marvellous time, wherever it is that you're going.

As others have said, at the risk of sounding rude, I think you're overthinking this and your DPs attitude is right. Your friends will be pleased for you, I'm sure.

ThingyTheBusCleaner · 08/07/2014 20:05

Some posters just have to piss on the chips don't they?

If you don't feel comfortable mentioning it, don't mention it.

Excepting very close friends or family I would expect the conversation to go something akin to the following

Friend "Going away this year"
You "yes actually we are"
Friend "oh lovely, where?"
You "Weekend in London"
Friend "oh sounds fun"

Fin.

No Details, no awkwardness no interest

If you try to lie or look shifty it'll just up the nosiness factor whilst your friends try to work out what you're hiding. Yes, then you might end up looking a bit of a nob.

AtYourCervix · 08/07/2014 20:05

Have a lovely time. No need to give details just 'we're off to a nice hotel for a night off'. Lovely.

ThingyTheBusCleaner · 08/07/2014 20:06

Here's your missing "?", soz

BookABooSue · 08/07/2014 20:08

To balance sebsmummy - I've stayed in a few posh hotels that were totally worth it. Dh isn't that keen on hotels and even he has loved some of them. I hope you have a fantastic time and enjoy every part of it.
MrsS does your friend offer a MN discount? Wink

sebsmummy1 · 08/07/2014 20:09

Sorry, didn't mean to suggest the OPs hotel would be anything other than fabulous. We went to this boutique spa place in Cornwall and to be honest it was fine, but once you looked at the quality behind the veneer it was not worth the money in my opinion.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 08/07/2014 20:10

I've been to some fairly posh places with my parents and I really only told another friend who I think has been to similar or grander. I told plenty of people where we'd been generally though. I think most of my friends are similarly sensitive with what we all tell each other - probably a lot of people have felt poor sometimes and been lucky enough to splash out at other times - I know my own experience has been quite mixed anyway.
I have to agree with you though OP that "people's emotions are not that straight-forward" as your DP seems to thinkSmile

MrsJossNaylor · 08/07/2014 20:10

OP, why do you imagine that anyone will ask which hotel you're staying at, or even give a shit?

For example, if a friend of mine said they were going to London for the weekend, I would nod and smile. I would possibly ask what s/he planned to do. I would certainly not ask where s/he was staying, as I wouldn't care.

But if a friend said "I'm going to London and staying at the Ritz" I'd think they were showing off pointlessly. As what's the point of mentioning the hotel unless you're purposefully making a big deal of it?

ThingyTheBusCleaner · 08/07/2014 20:13

My DSis has a group of friends who rip her to bits if they think she has spent "too much" on certain things. She has a bit more money than most of them (old friends) and there can be a lot of bitching and jealousy.

I don't know why she's still friends with them tbh - anyone who can't be happy for you is a bit of a cow, really.

Seriouslyffs · 08/07/2014 20:20

I know where you're coming from, but as other posters have said, it can be avoided by telling friends you're having a weekend in London- no need to mention the name of the hotel.
We're sending DD1 on a 2 week volunteering in a children's home an panda looking after 'jolly'. I'm incredibly excited for her, but very cagey about telling anyone it as it's such an indulgent thing to do. Even family have been a bit Hmm

80schild · 08/07/2014 20:20

As people have said (or not said) just be matter of fact about it. You are going to London. If they ask where you are staying then tell them in a matter of fact way. I am sure most people aren't that interested unless they are good friends in which case they probably won't be jealous.

Swipe left for the next trending thread