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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being upset that neighbour did this?

171 replies

cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:34

This is long sorry!...
My friend is also a close neighbour. She and her DP feed our cat if we are away at weekends (we return the favour and do the same for their cat). We came home earlier than expected today to find our tumble dryer on, house full of steam, soaking wet kitchen floor etc from no ventilation and no power. It turns out the friends had put their washing in our machine because it got wet in the rain on the line. The machine must've tripped the power so our fridge was off (caught it just in time to save contents). So, I figured out it must be their stuff in the machine, checked my phone but no text or anything to ask of they could use it. A couple hours later the DP knocks on door armed with washing basket. Queue awkward oh didn't think you'd be home yet, urm used your machine, washing got wert and we had two loads (so clearly this isn't even the ONLY load they've dried here today!!). Us going uhh yeah we figured that out. He goes down stairs to get stuff and has the cheek to call up stairs and say it's not dry can I put it back on? I'm gobsmacked, DP just awkwardly says 'urm yeah ok'. He buggers off home with a 'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning. Queue the power cutting out. So I text him to tell him to come and get his washing.
I'm totally creeped out. Just how long have they been doing this??? Why didn't they just ask first? It's really freaked me out, what else do they do when they know we aren't home???
There is history, he also took our lawn mower without asking when we were away last summer, broke a part so had to fess up and replace the broken part.
Also, we came home a coupe of months ago to no power and had to chick and entire fridge and freezer's worth of food in the bin (£150 plus waste!). Is it because of them using our machine that the power tripped out!!???!!
I just don't know what to do, feel I have to say something but don't want to cause a falling out but I feel like they have been really creepy and dishonest Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:35

Oopse typo- the dryer had been on, wasn't on when we got home as power had cut out.

OP posts:
YoureBeingASillyBilly · 09/06/2014 01:41

Well for starters you need to get your electrics checked out. That shouldnt be happening- no matter who is using the tumble drier.

Secondly- they are taking the piss! Completely. Is there anyway you could fit a second lock to your door that they dont have a key for? Also i would tell them that your drier is out of action now as it keeps blowing the trip and you cant afford to replace so they cant use it. (Even if you do get it fixed yourself)

Isabeller · 09/06/2014 01:43

Trying to think the best: you have different boundaries/expectations, they are not being deliberately dishonest.

However YANBU

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:49

Yes first job tomorrow is getting the power situation sorted! I'm so upset about this I can't sleep Sad

OP posts:
MandarinCheesecake · 09/06/2014 01:51

Get your tumble dryer checked out. We had this problem turns out there was water getting inside and every time I switched it on it tripped the electrics. (Hotpoint)
It was taking longer and longer to dry it out each time and got to the stage where it was no use at all. Got fed up calling out the repair man so scrapped it.

Re your neighbours if you don't want them to take the piss then don't ask them to house/cat sit any more.

PhaedraIsMyName · 09/06/2014 01:53

They are beyond unreasonable on 2 counts.

  1. Using your home as if it were their own.
  2. Leaving a washing machine on in an empty house.

The second is by far the more serious. I know some one whose kitchen was gutted by a fire started by an electrical fault in a washing machine. Sounds improbable doesn't it? It's not. She was in the house at the time, had her house been empty it wouldn't just have been the kitchen that was ruined.

cutefluffybunnes · 09/06/2014 01:57

I'd be more upset about the electricity in the house than the chancers you've had feeding the cat - you really need to sort your electrics.

Your neighbours are awful. If they don't use the dryer while you're home, it's clearly not on to use it while you're gone.

You refer to her as a 'friend'. You sure about that? They sound like users. Change your lock and find someone else who likes cats to feed your pet when you're away.

NatashaBee · 09/06/2014 01:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:59

Yes you're right I instantly thought about the house burning down when we realised it must have been the machine that tripped the power. I think that's why I can't sleep now!

OP posts:
Needadvice5 · 09/06/2014 02:17

That's so cheeky, I'm not very brave but even I would be having words!

Wouldn't be as bad if they text and asked!

Needadvice5 · 09/06/2014 02:18

That's so cheeky, I'm not very brave but even I would be having words!

Wouldn't be as bad if they text and asked!

OldLadyKnowsSomething · 09/06/2014 02:19

It's your machine that's tripping the electrics, not your neighbour's washing. I'd focus on that before anything else.

Sleep now, get an electrician in the morning. Think about your neighbours after that. They may be "users", they may be "chancers", but for tonight focus on the positive; they help you out, and your 'leccy system does trip rather than allowing a fire.

mindthegap79 · 09/06/2014 02:22

YANBU. This is the kind of thing our nosy nutjob next door neighbours would do. I wonder what other facilities they use whilst you're out... Ever find you're running unexpectedly low on bubble bath, loo roll etc? Wink

Change the locks asap.

Topaz25 · 09/06/2014 03:02

I think people are focusing on the electrical issue here and that's understandable because it's dangerous but OP has said she is getting it sorted. Moving on, it would be bloody cheeky of the neighbours to use the dryer without asking even if it wasn't faulty and they weren't even sorry! Change the locks.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 04:08

Yes I'm going to get the electrics sorted in the morning.
I think I'll just have to ask for our key back and make other arrangements in the future for cat sitting. Don't want to ruin a friendship over it (I suspect it is the DP's doing mainly but still no excuse for her to let him go ahead and do it IMO).
It really makes me feel sick the thought of what they've been taking advantage of when out backs are turned. Unfortunately I work closely with her too Sad

OP posts:
dirtybanana · 09/06/2014 04:48

Very cheeky chancers aren't they Angry

Not only using your tumble dryer, but over-stuffing it with sopping laundry too - just the thing to knacker the motor and throw the electrics. I'd be sending them a bill for electricity used, from the electrician and for new locks!

Chesntoots · 09/06/2014 05:28

You don't own a house in Mexico, by chance, do you??

Just kidding. I would be beyond pissed at this...

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2014 05:50

I understand why you don't want to make waves, since they are next door . But, do you WANT friends like this ?

Just quietly put your friendship on the back burner and stay polite. Don't be available and let the relationship cool...

Good Luck

wowfudge · 09/06/2014 06:29

Even close friends should have the courtesy to ask if they can use something in your house. What a cheek. I too would be wondering what else they'd used when you've been away in the past.

YADNBU

TheFarceAndTheSpurious · 09/06/2014 06:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MostlyMama · 09/06/2014 07:08

I think you are well within your rights to go ape shit. How dare they, do they really think it is normal behaviour to sneak in your house and use your appliances without asking?

newsecretidentity · 09/06/2014 07:21

When he said that they had two loads, did he just mean that their washing got soaked in the rain and they had more than they could sort at home and so borrowed your tumble dryer while theirs was in use?

Even so, I would expect a text though.

StealthPolarBear · 09/06/2014 07:24
Shock Do theyhave a sports car or an expensive bottle of whiskey you could 'use' when theyre out? (Obviously in the right order!)
Chelvis · 09/06/2014 07:48

We had the same situation with the tumble drier (not the neighbours!) and it was our fuse box tripping because it was an older house and wasn't providing power at the right level for modern needs. I kept just thinking it was because I had too many things running at once and it was 'one of those things'.
I left the tumble drier and the dishwasher running whilst I slipped to the shops, and came home to a hall full of smoke. Called an electician, who told me to call the local electric board. They came out and upgraded the supply/fuse thing for free as it was their equipment. Don't be stupid like me and leave it until it sets on fire!

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 08:01

Newsecretidentity No no they don't have a dryer (if they had asked I would've said yes, but they DIDN'T ask). They are actually too tight to ever put their heating on (they can afford it), so their house was probably cold so wouldn't dry the washing very quickly. They obviously used the machine a lot due to all the steam and wet floors Sad

OP posts: