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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being upset that neighbour did this?

171 replies

cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:34

This is long sorry!...
My friend is also a close neighbour. She and her DP feed our cat if we are away at weekends (we return the favour and do the same for their cat). We came home earlier than expected today to find our tumble dryer on, house full of steam, soaking wet kitchen floor etc from no ventilation and no power. It turns out the friends had put their washing in our machine because it got wet in the rain on the line. The machine must've tripped the power so our fridge was off (caught it just in time to save contents). So, I figured out it must be their stuff in the machine, checked my phone but no text or anything to ask of they could use it. A couple hours later the DP knocks on door armed with washing basket. Queue awkward oh didn't think you'd be home yet, urm used your machine, washing got wert and we had two loads (so clearly this isn't even the ONLY load they've dried here today!!). Us going uhh yeah we figured that out. He goes down stairs to get stuff and has the cheek to call up stairs and say it's not dry can I put it back on? I'm gobsmacked, DP just awkwardly says 'urm yeah ok'. He buggers off home with a 'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning. Queue the power cutting out. So I text him to tell him to come and get his washing.
I'm totally creeped out. Just how long have they been doing this??? Why didn't they just ask first? It's really freaked me out, what else do they do when they know we aren't home???
There is history, he also took our lawn mower without asking when we were away last summer, broke a part so had to fess up and replace the broken part.
Also, we came home a coupe of months ago to no power and had to chick and entire fridge and freezer's worth of food in the bin (£150 plus waste!). Is it because of them using our machine that the power tripped out!!???!!
I just don't know what to do, feel I have to say something but don't want to cause a falling out but I feel like they have been really creepy and dishonest Sad

OP posts:
Ioethe · 09/06/2014 10:06

Ooo, that's weird. I have a lot of keys to other people's houses and I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing.

expatinscotland · 09/06/2014 10:07

Driers cost a FORTUNE to use.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 09/06/2014 10:08

But the OP saves them the cattery fees, too!

MrsWinnibago · 09/06/2014 10:12

Meh. Lot of fuss about nothing.

BravePotato · 09/06/2014 10:19

I think it is really not on, they are free riders and am sure they use your dryer whenever they can to save cost.

So would just tell them you are making other arrAngements re cat, and make sure they don't have key!

Using the dryer costs a fortune. Chancers....

Lanabelle · 09/06/2014 10:20

It wont be your electrics - it'll be the earth in the tumble dryer tripping it. mine does it all the time because I have yet to replace the plug (bottom of a list of many) if nothing else trips it then its the tumble

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 09/06/2014 10:21

.what would be the issue with him using my dryer ffs?

As others have pointed it A) the cost and B) the safety risk of leaving it on while no-one was there.

Anniegetyourgun · 09/06/2014 10:21

The understanding (on the OP's side at least!) was that they would mind each other's cats for free. If one party has unilaterally decided they're owed the equivalent of cattery fees in electricity, that is unfair. If they raised it openly the other party would have the chance to say "yes that's fine, and may I borrow x and y while I'm sitting your cat?", and everyone would know where they stood. This couple would appear to be using cat sitting not as a reciprocal favour but as cover for sneaking into their neighbours' house and using their stuff. In that case I'd rather pay a cattery or a professional pet sitting service.

SistersOfPercy · 09/06/2014 10:23

MrsWinnibago I wouldn't call £150 worth of defrosted food most likely caused by cheeky neighbours using the tumble dryer a 'fuss about nothing'

buggerboooo · 09/06/2014 10:24

Wow that takes the piss! I would be fuming!

Anniegetyourgun · 09/06/2014 10:25

That's not to mention that, even if it didn't catch fire, the house was full of steam and wet floors and that can't be good for the décor. They aren't just taking advantage, they're being very cavalier with other people's property, all under the guise of doing them a mutual favour.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 10:43

OnlyLovers I know I was just so stunned that he said he wanted to use it again that I couldn't speak!! And DP was just dumb struck too that his natural reaction (because he's a bloody good bloke) was to say yeah ok!
I'm glad most of you think I'm NBU but to the few that do the point is that IF they had asked, Yes I would've said that's fine but please open some windows and don't leave the frigging house empty because it's dangerous!!! It is not hard to send a text, they know I keep my phone on me because I have a small child and that we weren't in bloody Timbuktu (or somewhere you don't get signal!)

OP posts:
Cerisier · 09/06/2014 10:52

What unbelievable neighbours you have OP. Like others it brings to my mind the Mexican house saga. Neighbours were regularly using a MNers holiday home without mentioning it to her. She'd let them use it once and they'd had their own set of keys cut!

Can you get internal locks put in so that the cat can still be fed in the dry but your neighbours can't access more than one room?

winkywinkola · 09/06/2014 11:09

It is wrong to use other people's stuff without asking. That is the problem.

In this case, using other people's tumble driers costs a lot of money.

It is also wrong to use their stuff a d cause damage like the food in the fridge.

I wouldn't engage in any rows about this. I wouldn't even discuss it with them. They will not see your point of view at all so it would be pointless to row about it.

I would get the key and use a cattery from now on. Fade from their view. Be polite but distant. Rowing will really upset you all and achieve nothing. I've been there and it's just terrible.

DialsMavis · 09/06/2014 11:24

It wouldn't bother me, but it does bother you, so YANBU. Your close friends should no you well enough to know you wouldn't like it. I am a bit worried about all the posts saying how dangerous it is to leave a washing machine on though, I do it all the time. I had no idea it was an issue. We both work really long hours and have particularly grubby children, I can't see how we would ever get any clean clothes if we only used it when at home. How do you all manage it?

CeliaFate · 09/06/2014 11:32

I'm gobsmacked that they'd think this was ok. Bloody cheek! I would go round for my key when I knew they were in and say you were upset they'd gone into your home when you weren't there and used your electricity without permission. They're taking the piss and they knew it.

Dubjackeen · 09/06/2014 11:33

YANBU! It would be entirely different if they had asked, as a one-off situation, where they were stuck, if it was okay to use the dryer.
I presumed they didn't apologise about leaving the kitchen floor wet either.
I would be cooling things off considerably, and finding some other way to get the cat minded. Cheeky feckers!

DoJo · 09/06/2014 11:34

DialsMavis - we put it on at night, which still isn't ideal, but at least we would be there to hear the smoke alarms if it did go up in smoke. If you aren't convinced, try setting light to dryer fluff - it goes up like no man's business (we used to use it as fire-lighters for this reason!) and can be ignited relatively easily by a spark.

softlysoftly · 09/06/2014 11:37

I text my mum to check I can use her washer let alone neighbours Shock

I'd just change the locks and get a cat feeder/cattery. It's cheeky and really unsafe to leave your electrics running in an empty house!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 09/06/2014 11:44

I know this isn't the most important thing but in addition to the electrics tripping, it isn't at all normal for a tumble dryer to cause a room to fill with steam or to make the floors wet. I've never ever had a tumble dryer that did that, in 3 different countries and decades of living with them. It's definitely broken!

PinkSquash · 09/06/2014 11:47

I wash clothes in the morning/evening. A few lungfuls of smoke can kill before you've been woken.

The water everywhere+ electrics is no doubt causing a trip. What a fucking hazard your friends/neighbours are. It could destroy their home as well as yours.

Freeloading, dangerous asshats.

IAmTheGodOfTitsAndWine · 09/06/2014 11:55

DialsMavis, it's not leaving a washing machine on that's dangerous (unless it's a washer-dryer), its a dryer, for the reasons mentioned above. I think I remember reading somewhere that dryers are the biggest cause of fires in the home now. If anyone can find the statistics to support that, I'd be interested in having a read!

We'll happily leave the washing machine to do its business while we're out, but drying gets done when we're in the house. Our washing machine has a delay start function, so that gets used so clothes aren't sitting damp for ages.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 12:06

Holdmecloser it's a front vented machine (not a pipe going outside) so you do have to open windows and back door to get air flowing. But it must've been on for AGES to cause the damp it did. I suspect they bunged sopping wet stuff in (2 loads of it) over the course of an afternoon.

OP posts:
whiteblossom · 09/06/2014 12:08

op yanbu. I'd phone elec company with dates when you were last away and the power tripped. The dryer uses a lot of power, it will be clear to see if your 'friends' popped over to use it before and then you will know that this is not the first time and its cost you money to replace the food and any other damage. Once you have proof that this is not the first time, I'd have to have a chat with them.

They didn't even take care and consideration in your home, no open window to allow steam out etc etc.

If someone wants to borrow or use something you ask. To wander into someones home and do as they please makes you please as if your very own home/space/privacy has been invaded. I'd wonder what else they help themselves to- which now brings me to the point that you no longer trust them...I'd tell them that too when you get the key. They broke your trust.

For anyone that says she avoided the cost of a cattery- it works both ways op does the same for the neighbour so irrelevant and still pointless- you still ask permission.

I wouldn't dream of even turning up at my mums letting myself in and using her washer/dryer! I'd ring and check first.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 12:09

AND I've just realised they would've had to plug it in to use it. I'm getting more and more upset about it! Still no reply to my text asking to pick up keys.

OP posts:
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