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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being upset that neighbour did this?

171 replies

cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:34

This is long sorry!...
My friend is also a close neighbour. She and her DP feed our cat if we are away at weekends (we return the favour and do the same for their cat). We came home earlier than expected today to find our tumble dryer on, house full of steam, soaking wet kitchen floor etc from no ventilation and no power. It turns out the friends had put their washing in our machine because it got wet in the rain on the line. The machine must've tripped the power so our fridge was off (caught it just in time to save contents). So, I figured out it must be their stuff in the machine, checked my phone but no text or anything to ask of they could use it. A couple hours later the DP knocks on door armed with washing basket. Queue awkward oh didn't think you'd be home yet, urm used your machine, washing got wert and we had two loads (so clearly this isn't even the ONLY load they've dried here today!!). Us going uhh yeah we figured that out. He goes down stairs to get stuff and has the cheek to call up stairs and say it's not dry can I put it back on? I'm gobsmacked, DP just awkwardly says 'urm yeah ok'. He buggers off home with a 'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning. Queue the power cutting out. So I text him to tell him to come and get his washing.
I'm totally creeped out. Just how long have they been doing this??? Why didn't they just ask first? It's really freaked me out, what else do they do when they know we aren't home???
There is history, he also took our lawn mower without asking when we were away last summer, broke a part so had to fess up and replace the broken part.
Also, we came home a coupe of months ago to no power and had to chick and entire fridge and freezer's worth of food in the bin (£150 plus waste!). Is it because of them using our machine that the power tripped out!!???!!
I just don't know what to do, feel I have to say something but don't want to cause a falling out but I feel like they have been really creepy and dishonest Sad

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 09/06/2014 12:09

phew, we only use the dryer in emergencies anyway

Icelollycraving · 09/06/2014 12:20

They are cheeky. I don't think they will answer your text. They will be doing the text version of sticking their fingers in their ears shouting lalalala.
I suspect this thread will run & run!

CumberCookie · 09/06/2014 12:32

I'd have it out with them. I really would. How dare they not ask?! The steam issue alone would make me annoyed not to mention the potential fire risk. Not on. You might have to go round and demand your key back.

dustarr73 · 09/06/2014 12:33

Just knock and ask for the key,the longer you leave it the worse it will be.Just be brave and knock now before any time has passed.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 12:35

Yep Icelolly, part of me thinks they will post the keys through the letterbox in the dead of night but another part thinks they really think they did nothing wrong!

Oh to everyone wondering why we hadn't noticed dodgy drier, we haven't used it for quite a while as haven't needed too. We've only had it since our LO was born so about 8 months, and really just used it in winter when he was reflux puking everywhere!

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 12:41

Mindthegap79 the thought actually gives me shivers!

OP posts:
riverboat1 · 09/06/2014 12:45

YANBU. Everyone knows driers use a lot of electricity and make houses humid. Totally out of order to use yours without even asking. If he had put something in the fridge or used the loo that's one thing, it doesn't really have a knock on effect for you. But this is really rude IMO. I'd be mortified in his position.

SpicyPear · 09/06/2014 12:47

For all they knew it was unplugged because of some fault or other! If someone had done this when my washing machine was broken down recently they could have flooded my kitchen.

OTheHugeManatee · 09/06/2014 12:51

Wow, OP. Gobsmacking cheek!

To get your key back, don't text. Texts are made for ignoring.

Go round there and knock on the door when the light is on so they're clearly in. Ask nicely for the key back and explain that what they did put your house at risk so you don't feel comfortable with them holding it any more. Don't let them talk you round.

DenzelWashington · 09/06/2014 12:51

Change locks anyway. Or at least add another lock so you can be sure to keep them out.

Hissy · 09/06/2014 12:52

IF they text back about the key, tell them you need it for the electrician to sort it out and as it's your only spare, you won't need it for long.

then never give it back.

When you get home make sure you go straight round there for the key.

I would however change the locks fast. They have taken a whole reservoir of piss over this and you have to see this.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 12:53

Hanginginthere1 that is outrageous!! OMG what were they making notes about?!??? That gives me the shivers too!
If I haven't heard back by the time she's back from work I'll be brave and go round for the keys (will have to take DS tho so no shouting!).
This is going to make working together a bit tricky (we do irregular freelance stuff but very much together Confused).

OP posts:
ouryve · 09/06/2014 12:58

Why would their house be cold without the heating on? It's June. We live in the coldest part of Englangd and we have our thermostat set for warm enough to be comfortable without thick jumpers and sod the bills and the heating hasn't come on of its own accord for over a week, now - if I want to give the radiators a blast, I need to turn the main thermostat up.

But, no, it would have been polite of them to ask, first.

whiteblossom · 09/06/2014 13:01

remember she put you in this position, this is her doing. Hold your head high. She should be mortified or at least apologise!

andsmile · 09/06/2014 13:01

Whaaaaat, you even hve to work with one of them?

The only positive view I can take of this couple are that I may have been ones idea and not the others and one of them didnt approve. Possibly the DH as he was the brazen one.

How awkward for you OP. I think maybe clear the air and say if they had asked you would have explained what conditions of use needed to be adhered to, safety etc.

Maybe you hould be brave just to set your boundaries or this will happen again. I think you need to establish this as a trust issue seen as you work together occasionaly too.

Sorry it all sounds awkward. But cheeky buggers eh Hmm

RedSoloCup · 09/06/2014 13:14

This is terrible op, besides anything else leaving driers on in unoccupied properties is a huge fire risk!!!

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 13:16

Ouryve perhaps the heating has nothing to do with it, you're right I haven't had heating on for a while, BUT if I had to dry clothes it would probably be the first thing i would do for an hour or something if I desperately needed a certain item of clothing (hang on radiator). The rest I would spin in the washing machine and hang on clothes horse etc. they've basically done their washing from their holiday they just got back from and dried it in my machine.

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 13:19

Shit she just text to say she'd be home soon should she put keys through letterbox!!
I've said no I'm home with DS I'll come round for them. Shit sticks.

OP posts:
itiswhatitiswhatitis · 09/06/2014 13:25

Well done for asking for the keys back hope she has the good grace to be Blush when you see her! cheeky mare!

CookieMonsterIsHot · 09/06/2014 13:27

'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning Utter bastard. I know you don't want a row but he just pushed a boundary with that comment and grin. Your dh didn't push back, you did, but a bit feebly tbh. People like that take more and more unless you push back hard. They rely on nice people not wanting to be rude. He needs a good metaphorical kick in the nuts.

Another vote here for going round there. I'd ask them outright to pay for the cost of getting the dryer's electrical fault fixed. Tumble dryers tend to fail if you put clothes that are too wet in there. If they get arsey or refuse, ask for the key back.

None of that has to be rude or argumentative.

Btw, the time the fridge was off, they must have noticed that the electricity had tripped when they took the washing away. They covered up their wrong-doing and let your food go off rather than fess up or get it fixed before you returned. Bastards. And they were going to do it again! They have no respect for your or your property.

DamnBamboo · 09/06/2014 13:27

OP, I would just say to them you were unhappy about the state of the kitchen etc when you arrived home and due to there clearly being an issue with your drier, you need the spare back for when the electrician will come round. I would also say though that you are surprised that they saw fit to do what they did and that you would have expected a courtesy text to say 'do you mind if we use your dryer'

I don't blame you for being cross and to the others who say this couple have saved OP cattery fees, well the OP and her DH also return the same favour, so that is really no justification.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 09/06/2014 13:27

Why are YOU panicking OP? She is the one who should be saying 'shit'! You hve been wronged. You are right to be mad about this. Just go round and get the keys. If she asks why you want them back (she wont- she knows why) then just tell her you didnt like her using your TD without permisiion. You have nothjng yo be afraid of here! She wont bite you.

CeliaFate · 09/06/2014 13:28

While you're waiting for her, keep repeating to yourself "She has let herself into my home and used my machine and electricity and didn't have the manners to ask first". Build yourself up to be assertive and don't be meek or say it doesn't matter.
Tell her calmly but firmly that she should have asked first.

DenzelWashington · 09/06/2014 13:30

If she asks why you want them back, just say 'Oh, come on!'

She didn't ask permission, left the kitchen in a state and the machines unattended and has overstepped the mark. Not for the first time (lawnmower).

CookieMonsterIsHot · 09/06/2014 13:33

At the very least, make a "jokey" comment about "I wondered why the electricity bill was so high, you owe us a lot of wine and chocolates for this one!". See what she says. Enjoy watching her squirm.

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