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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being upset that neighbour did this?

171 replies

cherrylola · 09/06/2014 01:34

This is long sorry!...
My friend is also a close neighbour. She and her DP feed our cat if we are away at weekends (we return the favour and do the same for their cat). We came home earlier than expected today to find our tumble dryer on, house full of steam, soaking wet kitchen floor etc from no ventilation and no power. It turns out the friends had put their washing in our machine because it got wet in the rain on the line. The machine must've tripped the power so our fridge was off (caught it just in time to save contents). So, I figured out it must be their stuff in the machine, checked my phone but no text or anything to ask of they could use it. A couple hours later the DP knocks on door armed with washing basket. Queue awkward oh didn't think you'd be home yet, urm used your machine, washing got wert and we had two loads (so clearly this isn't even the ONLY load they've dried here today!!). Us going uhh yeah we figured that out. He goes down stairs to get stuff and has the cheek to call up stairs and say it's not dry can I put it back on? I'm gobsmacked, DP just awkwardly says 'urm yeah ok'. He buggers off home with a 'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning. Queue the power cutting out. So I text him to tell him to come and get his washing.
I'm totally creeped out. Just how long have they been doing this??? Why didn't they just ask first? It's really freaked me out, what else do they do when they know we aren't home???
There is history, he also took our lawn mower without asking when we were away last summer, broke a part so had to fess up and replace the broken part.
Also, we came home a coupe of months ago to no power and had to chick and entire fridge and freezer's worth of food in the bin (£150 plus waste!). Is it because of them using our machine that the power tripped out!!???!!
I just don't know what to do, feel I have to say something but don't want to cause a falling out but I feel like they have been really creepy and dishonest Sad

OP posts:
SpicyPear · 09/06/2014 13:36

I can't get on board with all this making weird excuses to get the keys back. I would be calm and polite, but honest that you were disappointed to find that they had misused them, the risk they had casused and the state it had caused you to find your home in.

Icelollycraving · 09/06/2014 13:38

I would say the tumble dryer was unplugged as it's faulty & trips out the electric. Say how you felt to come home to a mess & spoilt food & then say a cattery is probably best for everyone next time. Good luck!!

OnlyLovers · 09/06/2014 13:39

I agree, there's no need for excuses or stories.

expatinscotland · 09/06/2014 13:43

Just change the fucking lock barrel already! Buy an automatic cat feeder and get your cat's jabs up to date so you can put it in a cattery for longer holidays.

And get a spark in.

Job done.

Hissy · 09/06/2014 14:00

Work out how many times you have asked them to cat sit, find out what a launderette would charge for say 4 hours drying and charge them this.

I presume you got them gifts as a thank you for them feeding your cat too, didn't you?

Angry [fucking livid] [mumsnet hitsquad]

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2014 14:02

Is there a link to the Mexico fiasco Please ?

andsmile · 09/06/2014 14:05

expat yes all that for next time OP goes away but I dont think the users should get away with overstepping the mark.

Are you going to say anything when you go round OP?

good for you for getting keys back.

mipmop · 09/06/2014 14:07

I think the Mexican housenappers threat is in classics.

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 14:25

Urgh I feel a bit better now! Went round she handed me keys as was expecting me, she started chit chat I just spat out 'you know it was out of order right?' She was all 'ur what?', me 'using the dryer without asking? It's actually really really dangerous and has really upset me'. So she looks all clueless and shocked and says something along the lines of 'oh urm I didn't know' me 'it was your washing' her 'didn't know it was dangerous, really sorry didn't mean to upset you' repeat a bit. Me like 'that's why people ask before they borrow things'. Her - f**king stunned 'DP was going on about just using it so he did'. Me 'that's no excuse he should've asked, it's so dangerous if my house caught fire so would yours'. Her 'sorry sorry...' Me 'ok I've gotta go now anyway'. Me push buggy away and breathe!
Oh god wish i'd handled it a little better but at least it's been said and I have the key back.

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 09/06/2014 14:30

And breathe!

Bet you feel better now Grin At least its done, said and they know why. Hopefully they'll not be asking to borrow anything else. I do get the impression that her DH has a brass neck and he'll carry on like nothing's happened. To the point of borrowing the lawn mower again.

mipmop · 09/06/2014 14:30

Well done!

dustarr73 · 09/06/2014 14:31

No i think you handled it perfectly,she obviously didnt expect you to say anything.Thats why she started the idle chit chat.But she knows now and i bet your ears will be burning in a bit.

OnlyLovers · 09/06/2014 14:31

Well done for spitting it out, OP!

She's a bit stupid, and so is he, if they really didn't realise that a) it could be dangerous and b) it's not OK to just use other people's stuff.

DenzelWashington · 09/06/2014 14:32

I think you handled it perfectly well. She's been told, you've got your key back. Don't give them any more access or let them borrow anything, they're freeloaders.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 09/06/2014 14:37

Well done you!

I'd consider changing the barrel of the lock (can be bought in decent DIY stores) still. I know you said that they hang on to every penny by not putting on their heating until absolutely necessary but I wouldn't put it past them to have gotten a spare key cut in the time that they have had your spare.

If you look after feeding her cat(s) when they are on leave and you have a spare key for their house, perhaps you should have a dinner party in her house and leave them the dirty dishes (preferably growing mould on them) for them to come back to?!?

I was wondering when I read the first sentence of your post where you said My friend is also a close neighbour. I was wondering if they were close friends who happened to be neighbours or friends who happened to live very nearby to you? If they are close friends, then they'll understand that they have overstepped the mark and hopefully will try to make amends. If they are just neighbours who happen to be friends, then it really wont matter if they realise that they shouldn't assume when it comes to other peoples belonging (houses/tumble dryers etc included). I just would make sure that everything I own is locked up safely (put a padlock on the garage/shed too) and don't give them keys.

Waltermittythesequel · 09/06/2014 14:41

Well done! Delighted that you stood up for yourself.

Really out of order!

DenzelWashington · 09/06/2014 14:43

They will certainly pay for an extra key so they can carry on using your dryer. Keys aren't that expensive, tumble drying costs a fortune!

Cerisier · 09/06/2014 14:51

The Mexican housenappers thread is here. Scroll down for some amazing stories!

SpicyPear · 09/06/2014 14:57

Sounds like you did a fab job and made your point. It would have eaten away at you had you given in to her distraction tactics and ignored the subject. Douze points OP.

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2014 15:08

thank You Thanks you Thanks You for the link. Ive looked, but couldnt remember the post heading

mwah Mwah mwah Mwah

Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 15:11

My DP and I have both had a text from the DP 'Just wanted to apologise for using the dryer without asking yesterday - I should have checked before I used it. Not cool. Really sorry.'.
He explained to DP that he had sent me the same message.

My DP wrote back 'I should of said something yesterday to honest that thing is so dangerous. It f*s the kitchen up as well. And for an hour bas**d expensive. Wouldn't of minded if someone had asked then we could of told you.'

I sent 'Imagine how it feels to not know if you can trust someone who has free acess to your home. I appreciate the apology thanks'

We're going to leave it at that and probably never mention it again. Haha!

OP posts:
Original poster
cherrylola · 09/06/2014 15:12

I've just received 'Point taken' as a reply to my text!
I actually think he is a total arse now!

OP posts:
Icelollycraving · 09/06/2014 15:20

I actually think that was a nice apology & if he was a real twat wouldn't apologise so quickly after a bollocking from his wife. Let it go now & don't hold a grudge.

Arsepaste · 09/06/2014 15:29

They were really nice about apologising, actually - they're not being arses, that's the best apology you could have had, really. And, well ... you were actually arsey with them tbh. Understandable in the circumstances, but it's done now.

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2014 15:31

I wouldn't make any decisions in the heat of this moment, think on it and see how they behave in the coming days/ weeks.

Time will tell is they are genuine or not

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