For being upset that neighbour did this?

[cherrylola]

This is long sorry!...
My friend is also a close neighbour. She and her DP feed our cat if we are away at weekends (we return the favour and do the same for their cat). We came home earlier than expected today to find our tumble dryer on, house full of steam, soaking wet kitchen floor etc from no ventilation and no power. It turns out the friends had put their washing in our machine because it got wet in the rain on the line. The machine must've tripped the power so our fridge was off (caught it just in time to save contents). So, I figured out it must be their stuff in the machine, checked my phone but no text or anything to ask of they could use it. A couple hours later the DP knocks on door armed with washing basket. Queue awkward oh didn't think you'd be home yet, urm used your machine, washing got wert and we had two loads (so clearly this isn't even the ONLY load they've dried here today!!). Us going uhh yeah we figured that out. He goes down stairs to get stuff and has the cheek to call up stairs and say it's not dry can I put it back on? I'm gobsmacked, DP just awkwardly says 'urm yeah ok'. He buggers off home with a 'I'll be back in an hour then' grinning. Queue the power cutting out. So I text him to tell him to come and get his washing.
I'm totally creeped out. Just how long have they been doing this??? Why didn't they just ask first? It's really freaked me out, what else do they do when they know we aren't home???
There is history, he also took our lawn mower without asking when we were away last summer, broke a part so had to fess up and replace the broken part.
Also, we came home a coupe of months ago to no power and had to chick and entire fridge and freezer's worth of food in the bin (£150 plus waste!). Is it because of them using our machine that the power tripped out!!???!!
I just don't know what to do, feel I have to say something but don't want to cause a falling out but I feel like they have been really creepy and dishonest

I've sent a text asking for the key back, I'm not going to get into a row over it but want the key back and if they say anything then I'll tell them that their behaviour was upsetting. Not sure what else I can do (inside I want to shout and scream!), but a decent apology would be nice!

YANBU cheeky bastards. It's disrespectful to use your drier without asking you and I'd be wondering what else they've helped themselves to without you knowing about it.

If they don't have a tumble dryer, then what do they do normally when the washing gets wet on the line?

It wasn't a one off emergency. It was a calculated decision to use it just because they could. Logic says they were responsible for the last power failure and the ruined food. I would tell them that if nothing else.

But you are right there is no point getting into a row. Get the key back. point out why, but then maintain a dignified silence.

It's really dangerous to leave a washing machine or dryer running in an empty house. You don't need more reason than that, although it's also cheeky to use your stuff without asking.

I think that's very rude of them.

Does it only trip the fuse when they use it then?

This is incredibly cheeky and totally not on. But they clearly think this behaviour is ok. So, before you say anything to them, consider if there is anything of theirs you'd like to use next time they're away.

I wouldn't even expect my parent to do that. Bang out of order.

The only response you should receive is genuine remorse coupled with an offer to pay your repair costs for yesterday's incident.

Be prepared for your "friend" to sort-of apologise, while minimising the incident and behaving like you're being silly. Generally trying to deflect the blame onto the weather or her DH or "she didn't know".

Ignore all this rubbish and be a broken record. You want your key back, end of conversation. Don't engage with any questions or anything else that you don't want to discuss. Show some self-respect and be in control of the discussion.

I would also consider changing your burglar alarm code (if you have one).

Dreadful behaviour.

I and a friend have mutually 'cat sat' for about 20 years. It would never ever occur to us to do something like that!

And yes, it was a potentially dangerous thing to do. I never leave my washing machine, tumble drier (especially) or dishwasher on when I'm out.

Please come back and update with their reaction to your text

yes to getting the key back. if you can't feel that your home is your sanctuary it's got to stop.

Second all that stuff already said but what about your electricity bill , are the going to pay the extra for using the tumble drier ?

Their using it really wouldn't bother me. If they're close enough friends to have a key to my house, they're welcome to use my facilities while I'm not using them. You need your electrics checked, but I'm not seeing the problem with your friends.

Have they replied yet OP

If they ask "why" I'd text them, because you could've caused a fire and burned down our house and killed our cat.

They know the electrics went off but left OP to deal with that, possibly costing more money as she couldn't describe the chain of events to an electrician (I don't know, no-one was at home, no the tumble dryer wouldn't have been on...) And of course the wasted food, which real friends would have tried to salvage e.g. stirring themselves out asking other neighbours if they had room.

storing themselves or asking other neighbours to store

Apologies if I've missed a vital bit of info.

Presumably your NDNs don't have a tumble drier, so they'd be pitching up regularly to leech off your leccy supply. Except they don't. They're doing it when you're away, so they know it's not OK.

Chancers. Change the lock.

I think in this kind of situation you have to think 'what would I do and how would I like to be treated?' There's no way I would use something in a friend or neighbour's house without asking first and in return I would expect them to show me the same courtesy. If they said no I wouldn't just go ahead because they weren't there either.

I would be really annoyed if someone had done their laundry using my machine, water and electricity and I only knew because I happened to come home when the machine was mid cycle.

For the OP I imagine the fact that her friend and friend's DH are tight and they don't even have a tumble dryer makes it worse that they think hers is fair game when she's away.

Did you make it clear that you want to be asked after the lawnmower incident? The husband sounds like an arrogant tosser.

yanbu
get the electrics checked, if you are lucky it's just the mashine that's faulty.
get the locks changed (or change tge cylinder yourself, verg easy, lots kf youtube tutorials), if they are that cheeky, tgey probably have copies made.

I'm sure they haven't made a copy of the keys, too tight to pay for them!
I haven't had a reply to my text yet.

You don't own a house in Mexico, by chance, do you??

I'd be a bit miffed too. It's a boundary crossed - mainly because of the danger of a machine left unattended.

Downright bloody rude.

I'd be on the phone to my energy supplier for a bill breakdown tallying up exactly what was used whilst I was away (but then I'm like a dog with a bone).

Wow, I can't imagine doing someone a favour by feeding the cats and while I was in there helping myself to their facilities! This is not normal at all, and could only have been excused by a text explaining the dilemma and as a one off, asking if they could use your tumble-drier.

As everyone has said though, thank goodness you know about the electrics/dryer issue. I would bet they have used it before and possibly were the people who tripped it when you lost your freezer food.

I think you are doing the right thing asking for your key back for sure!

Actually the advice to change the locks is better, as they may have copies, like his and hers, so they can both pop in and use your stuff anytime!