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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

partner drinking a bottle of wine while 'babysitting'

153 replies

newmum000 · 27/04/2014 20:19

Out for the first time since baby was born (5 months old). Only out from 8.15-11.15pm. Partner drinks a bottle of wine while at home looking after our little one (she took a while to get to sleep but did go down eventually, apparently - I'm sure he mainly drank the bottle after she was in bed).

AIBU to be p*ssed off?

OP posts:
FizzyPink · 27/04/2014 20:21

I'm a nanny and very often if the dad gets home early and then will have sole charge when I leave he will start drinking whiskey, wine all sorts. I am a little put off by it but normally kids are asleep when I leave so I guess it's ok. A bottle of wine would leave some people on the floor whilst others could quite easily go through a few bottles a night. I guess it depends on if he was still capable of dealing with any problems.

MelanieCheeks · 27/04/2014 20:25

Which particular aspect is pissing you off?

MammaTJ · 27/04/2014 20:26

Oops, I have done the same and DP has drunk lager.

Are my children going to be taken from us in the night? Will they suddenly need urgent medical attention which we could and would call an ambulance for and need DP to drive them to hospital? even though they were perfectly well on going to bed

People do need a little down time sometimes.

dottytablecloth · 27/04/2014 20:26

I would be cross too so YANBU.

AnyFucker · 27/04/2014 20:27

if someone is in sole charge of a very young child, they really shouldn't be drinking a whole bottle of wine, IMO

Original poster
newmum000 · 27/04/2014 20:28

Tbh a bottle of wine doesn't get him completely comatose, far from it. He can 'manage' his booze pretty well (another bone of contention, he does drink too much but has cut down). Maybe I was getting on my high horse, but I felt p*ssed off, as what if he had to take our baby to hospital, or something..? Thanks for your reply - a very measured response - I do know I need to not be a control freak... still, it makes my blood boil thinking about his irresponsibiity..!

OP posts:
PersonOfInterest · 27/04/2014 20:28

Can he take a bottle of wine? I couldn't. My dh could have a bottle and just be a bit tipsy. Capable of consoling a baby/ringing an ambulance or similar. Some people can have a bottle and it doesn't even touch the sides.

However... if you are uncomfortable with it I don't think its unreasonable to discuss with him and see if there is a compromise.

expatinscotland · 27/04/2014 20:28

I don't see the problem.

SlinkyB · 27/04/2014 20:28

Confused why would you be pissed off? And surely he wasn't "babysitting", he was relaxing at home whilst his daughter slept upstairs?

Original poster
newmum000 · 27/04/2014 20:30

I was responding to turnedouttoes - but thanks, I think you are all pretty much on the same wave length as me...

OP posts:
MizTiggle · 27/04/2014 20:30

I think it depends on his tolerance level.

IdaClair · 27/04/2014 20:30

Did some harm befall the child?

It is not unreasonable to drink and look after a child, it is unreasonable to drink so much you are incapable of looking after a child, there is a huge difference between these two things.

I have previously drunk a bottle of wine and been in sole charge of children on several occasions. There are so many variables, but as presented yabu.

PortofinoRevisited · 27/04/2014 20:30

I don't see the problem either.

littlegreengloworm · 27/04/2014 20:30

My dh doesn't drink, but I wouldn't have a problem if he minded our baby with a beer or two. Bottle of wine is a lot especially in that short space of time.

Bowlersarm · 27/04/2014 20:31

I think YABU to be pissed off about it. Have a chat with him if you would rather he didn't drink as much as that next time, but I don't think it's a ridiculous amount over the course of an evening. How much would you be happy with?

Tweasels · 27/04/2014 20:31

Was he drunk? Do you feel he became so inebriated he couldn't competently look after your child? If so then no YANBU.

If he was ok then yes YABU. I often drink a bottle of wine whilst in on my own with the kids.

AnyFucker · 27/04/2014 20:31

I don't have a problem at all with drinkign while in charge of dc

But a whole bottle of wine ?

Why would he need to drink that much, knowing you would be back ?

he couldn't wait until the next time he was in sole charge before having a blow out ?

Original poster
newmum000 · 27/04/2014 20:31

Sorry, 'babysitting' was probably a sarcastic swipe at my partner's rather limited involvement in childcare... (now I'm opening a can of worms!!)

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/04/2014 20:32

There is always more to be said on these threads < sigh >

RiverTam · 27/04/2014 20:32

wouldn't bother me, we both of us quite often neck a fair bit of wine. The whole 'they might have to go to hospital' thing - well, do you drive with the baby, or even walk the streets - they might be involved in a car accident? Bit daft, once you think about it.

thornrose · 27/04/2014 20:32

I have more of an issue with your term 'babysitting' tbh.

Musicaltheatremum · 27/04/2014 20:32

When our children were little my DH and I would have a couple of gins and a bottle of wine between us on a Friday and Saturday. Never drunk but I always woke for them if they did wake up. If they took unwell then taxi or ambulance.

RiverTam · 27/04/2014 20:33

yes, I agree - I initially thought this was about her partner babysitting someone else's child - you know, actually babysitting.

thornrose · 27/04/2014 20:33

Oh no, sorry, cross post about the babysitting comment, I take it back newmum

IamInvisible · 27/04/2014 20:33

I agree with AF.

I wouldn't have been particularly happy with DH if he had drank a bottle of wine in 3 hours whilst in sole charge of one of our DC when they were 5 months old.

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