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AIBU?

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Original poster

partner drinking a bottle of wine while 'babysitting'

153 replies

newmum000 · 27/04/2014 20:19

Out for the first time since baby was born (5 months old). Only out from 8.15-11.15pm. Partner drinks a bottle of wine while at home looking after our little one (she took a while to get to sleep but did go down eventually, apparently - I'm sure he mainly drank the bottle after she was in bed).

AIBU to be p*ssed off?

OP posts:
sarinka · 28/04/2014 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HighwayDragon · 28/04/2014 12:47

I only get 3 glasses out of a bottle. It wouldn't really affect me either and I drink once a month or so, far from an alcoholic Hmm

thebodydoestricks · 28/04/2014 12:52

Er can't see the problem although I could easily drink a bottle of wine and be fine, obviously not drive.

You have years of parenthood ahead and what do you expect? Give up alcohol for 18 years incase you need to take them to hospital?

Obviously if he was as pissed as a rat that's different but seriously one if our greatest pleasures when the kids were small was the poured glass when they were finally all in bed.

whatever5 · 28/04/2014 12:54

It's not unreasonable to have a drink when the baby is in bed but a bottle of wine seems like a lot. I suppose it depends your DP's size and what he normally drinks though (i.e. if he is large and a heavy drinker it wouldn't have much effect).

Sallystyle · 28/04/2014 12:57

I personally think it is odd to drink a bottle of wine at home full stop. I admit that I have some funny opinions about alcohol though.

My husband has a couple of beers in the evening while I am at work and the children are in bed. It doesn't worry me. We only have one car so if he was stone cold sober he wouldn't be able to drive them to hospital anyway.

But yes, you have much bigger problems than the drinking, OP Thanks

thebodydoestricks · 28/04/2014 12:58

I am 50 and 5foot 2 and weigh 8 stone.

I have absolutely no problem drinking a bottle of wine.

whatever5 · 28/04/2014 12:59

so I'll reiterate for those people with oversized glasses on P2 - a whole bottle of wine is 6 units or 6 measures, or what always used to be 6 pub sized glasses. the fact the glasses you have might be twice the size of this doesn't detract from the fact it's still 6 units of wine, which he drank in 3 hours.

Unfortunately a bottle of wine is usually about 9 units (assuming 750 ml of 12% alcohol)

BackforGood · 28/04/2014 13:38

That's already been corrected upthread, Whatever

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/04/2014 16:29

I'm quite shocked that people think it's acceptable and normal to drink a whole bottle of wine to themselves while being solely responsible for the welfare of a baby.

It's not. In both cases. And in my opinion, those on here who do it regularly need to take a look at their attitude to alcohol and why they are drinking so much on their own with a baby to care for.

I would be horrified if a babysitter, nanny or nursery nurse drank that much while responsible for my child (even if they DID happen to stay asleep in their cot most of the night - quite unlikely with a 5 month old I would have thought.). So why do you parents think it's fine to do it?

Really, I think most people WOULD judge you for that, no matter how tolerant to 9 units of alcohol you are.

Andcake · 28/04/2014 16:35

I wouldn't be too happy not at 5 months. In the early days (lets say first year) we had a rule that one of us had to be sober enough to deal with any emergency - we have had dc wake up and suddenly be sick etc. This didn't mean we couldn't both drink at the same time just not both be drunk ifykwim. Probably pfb but likely to be an only due to infertility so why take any risks.
only you can decide if he was too 'drunk' to be in charge of dc. Also at 5months dd should not be a sleep in a different room than an adult due to sids risk- if that had been the case i would have been more pissed off! I know most sids peak is 4 months but still its against the guidelines.

mumeeee · 28/04/2014 16:37

Sorry I think you are being unreasonable and over reacting. If there was an emergency and your baby did need to go to hospital then he could have phoned for an ambulance. However as she was in bed asleep and had been perfectly alright before there would be no reason to think she would suddenly get ill. I don't drink much but have been known to have a couple of glasses of wine when our DDs were children. Your DH wasn't drunk and he wasn't acting irresponsibly.

Andcake · 28/04/2014 16:37

Also agree with curly a lot - why do people feel the need to drink a bottle on their own - is life that bad! can't you cope without it. And believe me I like a drink but never really got the drinking wine on your own thing - why bother a waste of money.

Forago · 28/04/2014 16:46

Also agree with Curly. I would and do judge - despite being a big drinker when out on own without dc.

whatever5 · 28/04/2014 16:46

Andecake- Why do you think they do it? Could it be because they enjoy it? You might as well ask why people eat chocolate. I only avoid drinking that much wine for health reasons.

AskBasil · 28/04/2014 19:36

Chocolate doesn't impair your judgement though and possibly influence whether you drop the baby/ trip/ fail to notice if something is wrong.

I don't think there's a huge problem with having a couple of glasses of wine while looking after a baby, but a bottle of wine is a binge, not a couple of glasses.

I know binge drinking is normal, but it's not OK when looking after a young baby.

maddy68 · 28/04/2014 19:56

Really! He drank at home while his child was in bed? Sorry fail to see the issue?

whatever5 · 28/04/2014 20:06

Chocolate doesn't impair your judgement though and possibly influence whether you drop the baby/ trip/ fail to notice if something is wrong.

Of course not but I was replying to the question "why do people feel the need to drink a bottle of wine on their own".

maddy68 · 28/04/2014 20:10

So parents are never again going to drink? I have had far more 'emergency' call outs since mine were teens than ever when they were small. You are being rediculous!

AskBasil · 28/04/2014 21:39

Why do people think binge drinking is the same as drinking?

AnyFucker · 28/04/2014 21:42

I don't understand why people keep squawking about "parents never being allowed to drink"

Nobody said that.

Shewhowines · 28/04/2014 21:47

A bottle of wine isn't binge drinking.
I know women who are drunk after a couple of small glasses. I also know some (me included) who can easily cope with a bottle occasionally. It's all relative.

AskBasil · 28/04/2014 21:55

No, it's not all relative.

Drinking a bottle of wine is objectively a binge.

Binge = 6 units in one go for women, 8 units in one go for men.

It doesn't matter if you think it has no effect on you, it's still a binge.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/04/2014 21:57

Well seeing as it's over 50% of the WEEKLY recommended alcoholic intake for a woman all in one go (14 units per week is the maximum, no more than 3 in one day), I fail to see how it is NOT binge drinking.

What else do you need if the figures stare you in the face? Confused. Just because a normal binge for YOUR drinking habits may be 2 bottles, not 1, it doesn't negate the fact that 1 bottle is, in fact, a binge.

expatinscotland · 28/04/2014 22:01

The units and guidelines are made up.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 28/04/2014 22:02

And also, why get all defensive like a teenager and say "oh so I'm never supposed to have a drink again, am I?"

Not one of us has said that! Well actually I think someone upthread said that they wouldn't touch a drop while caring for a child, so that isn't technically true. The rest of us has said that a whole bottle while in sole charge seems excessive. There is no plea for people to go teetotal!!!

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