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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset, I got nothing for Mothers day?

142 replies

whiteblossom · 30/03/2014 15:31

We have an eight yr old and Im 17 weeks pregnant. (so this could well be hormones!)

My ds made me a card at school and put together some lego for me- very sweet but my issue is with DH.

This is the first time he has got me nothing, he knows its mothers day. dh made a comment about getting me breakfast in bed about an hour and a half after I had gotten up (he slept in). No card/flowers/chocs.

I feel like he doesn't care about the effort I make as a mother or a wife as if he has no respect?

AIBU? He's asking whats wrong and I don't want to start an argument.

OP posts:

FanFuckingTastic · 30/03/2014 15:34

Think of what you do have, instead of what you don't. It's always easier on your heart that way. I celebrate mother's day as much as the children because I celebrate being a mum too. I don't just want my family to tell me how great I am, I want to be happy with my family.

Sadly, I don't have my children today, so it'll have to wait.

If you want your husband to do something, why not ask him? Tell him how grateful you are to be a mother and wife, and ask him to join in celebrating if you want him to.

FloozeyLoozey · 30/03/2014 15:35

Yes you are being a bit unreasonable. Why does your husband's effort matter? This day is about mothers and children.

CoffeeTea103 · 30/03/2014 15:36

Yanbu, a little something would have been thoughtful.

Minshu · 30/03/2014 15:37

Perhaps he thinks your 8 yo is old enough to do it himself now?

MagnaCharge · 30/03/2014 15:38

Your child made you a card and put some lego together for you - you got something for mothers day.

Your husband got you nothing because you are not his mother. When their is a wife's day and he ignores that start moaning if you base your judgement of his level of respect for you on on an irrelevant holiday.

gordyslovesheep · 30/03/2014 15:38

you got a card off your child

your husband is not your child

vickibee · 30/03/2014 15:38

I think Mother's day is over rated, commercial nonsense. Think about how your family treat you the whole year round and not just on one day. I got a home made card from my 7yo with a picture of some thing from Minecraft but I smiled. DH later made a lovely roast dinner with all the trimmings while I visited my own Mum.

Bloodyteenagers · 30/03/2014 15:41

You are not his mum. He doesn't have to do a thing for you.
If he never brings you break fast in bed, or gets up so you can have a lie in, randomly gets you flowers or chocolates, never cooks dinner, looks after you when you are ill, then you have problems, and he needs a big stick of dynamite shoving up his arse

sarinka · 30/03/2014 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaxsMummy2012 · 30/03/2014 15:45

Mothers day is not about material objects it is about celebrating mothers and children and the love you have for one another - why people equate love to being showered with 'stuff' I'll never know. Be grateful that you have a lovely 8 year old who made you a card and a lego model and that you have another baby on the way and stop being materialistic.

OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 15:47

My ds made me a card at school and put together some lego for me- very sweet but my issue is with DH.

So, what your son did, the person whose mother you are, wasn't good enough?

sarahandmallard · 30/03/2014 15:47

Yes, you've a right to be upset. It obviously matters to you and that's what's important. Forget this crap about the other times of the year, blah blah blah. Same can be applied to birthdays and Christmases really. Not everyone celebrates those either but that's not the bloody point, is it. It obviously does matter to you and your husband should damn well acknowledge the good job you're doing as a mother to his children. Father's Day may be a made up holiday, but I like to specifically acknowledge my husband's efforts as a father. And he loves it. Commercial it may be to some, but for us it means we acknowledge the personal sacrifices being a father or mother brings. It's a nice feeling when the only other person who knows just how tough it can be (the other parent) makes an effort to mark a mothers/Father's Day for their other half.

ICanSeeTheSun · 30/03/2014 15:56

My Mother's Day has cost the grand total of 80p.

Breakfast and coffee made for me the 80p was for the crumpets.

What matters the most is the kids have tidied there own rooms, given me lots of hugs and kisses and had a lovely pictures off the kids.

Material things don't matter to me.

fuckoffbeaker · 30/03/2014 15:58

You did get a card from your child. And your dh is not your child

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2014 15:58

It's Mother's Day, not Valentine's Day.

Your child very thoughtfully made you a card and a gift.

Why do you want something from your DH too?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 30/03/2014 15:59

A lie in for the op would have been nice I think.
He could have got up with the dc to facilitate that.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2014 16:01

But surely with an 8yr old if you don't want to get up really early, you can just let them watch TV downstairs for a while?

FitzgeraldProtagonist · 30/03/2014 16:06

Wouldn't want anything material. Would just like DP to say he was proud of the way I laboured, birthed and breastf his child and support on hospital trip would have been nice. I cannot complain - he is neither mean or selfish - just a little thoughtless at times

ArtFine · 30/03/2014 16:08

It's funny, I would have said yabu. But since having a child, it's such a tough job, and mothers tend to take all the slack for crappy fathers, so I think a present on Mother's Day is the least fathers can do! Obviously not all fathers are like that.

Joules68 · 30/03/2014 16:11

Another one!

It's Mother's Day not wives day!

BackforGood · 30/03/2014 16:12

The person whose Mother you are, did make an effort - a handmade card and a special model from something precious to him - you've done alright, I reckon.

not at all bitter that I got nothing, from any of my dc

You are not your dh's mother.

OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 16:16

so I think a present on Mother's Day is the least fathers can do!

Not when the child has spent time and effort making a personal card and gift.

I got to get up an hour earlier than normal, provide breakfast, take the children to rugby, provide lunch, wash rugby kit and cook dinner. I also got a card and flower arrangement from the smallest. That sums up my Mother's Day.

ZenGardener · 30/03/2014 16:18

Does he expect you to make an effort for Father's Day?

My husband used to do nothing on Mother's day but then expect me to organise stuff for him on Father's Day. When I pointed out to him how unfair that was he bucked up and started making more effort for Mother's Day.

OwlCapone · 30/03/2014 16:18

Out of interest, how do you think your DS would feel if you read out your thread title to him?

DoJo · 30/03/2014 16:18

FitzgeraldProtagonist
How old is your child?

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