to be upset, I got nothing for Mothers day?

[whiteblossom]

We have an eight yr old and Im 17 weeks pregnant. (so this could well be hormones!)

My ds made me a card at school and put together some lego for me- very sweet but my issue is with DH.

This is the first time he has got me nothing, he knows its mothers day. dh made a comment about getting me breakfast in bed about an hour and a half after I had gotten up (he slept in). No card/flowers/chocs.

I feel like he doesn't care about the effort I make as a mother or a wife as if he has no respect?

AIBU? He's asking whats wrong and I don't want to start an argument.

er..ok.

Daisychain

I do wonder how many of us are in what might be termed abusive relationships via modern thought but are what our mothers may have just termed marriage. Modern thought has moved on, but relationships are slower to do so I think.

I got NOTHING and I mean NOTHING . DD is on France on an exchange and texted me at 7pm tonight to wish me Happy Mothers day . She left a present with DS to give to me who hasn't mentioned it all day. She has texted him and he still hasn't given it to me.

I cooked big roast for my DH DS my mother and brother and kids . Still nothing. Not even a Happy Mothers day. DH drove to his mother to deliver card today and my mother had a card and plant when they came for lunch.

Im going to confiscate the brand new iPhone he had for his 13th birthday 4 days ago. How dare he ? I work my arse off to provide everything money can buy and run the house. Am I being too mean ?

DS and Dh presently glued to the rugby on the TV. Not a care in the world.

YANBU
I don't believe in the commercialism of all these days but I would like to feel valued by my dh and my dc. This year my dh has forgotten to give me the cards the dc made for me at school and the present he has bought me. I feel thoroughly unappreciated. I will not be doing anything for Father's Day whereas I would previously. It makes me sad that it has come to tit for tat but I just feel why should I bother when he can't be arsed.

Monkey, nip that shit in the bud. Never mind flowers and pink teddy bears, an hour nap is priceless. :-) And much easier if your other half knows he doesn't need to sort out reservations and buy overpriced flowers when all you really want is some time to yourself . After you nap.

If the children aren't old enough to go out by themselves and buy you something with their own money, then the husband steps in
You're not his mother but you are the mother of his children and if they can't thank you appropriately because they are too young, then he should
Op, yanbu

Jinglets maybe IANBU then! Maybe I should tell him that. Although lunch was nice! X

thats how I feel. very very tearful tonight which is not good as I have an 8am meeting tomorrow and will look like shite.

Its not what they do i.e. the money but just the thought. i.e. in my case absolutely nada.

I was bought up in a fairly austere way. We had little in the way of extravagances and my mother is mostly cruel to me which is a whole different thread but I would never have treated her like that.

I feel your pain skiing . My DD is 16 and I got nothing, not even a text message. I feel totally worthless

Do you make him feel appreciated for what he does as a husband and father - or is it just that you have a massive sense of entitlement?

Surely what matters is that your son did something sweet for you - isn't that supposed to be the point of this totally pointless and somewhat annoying day?

Doinmummy . big hug. Its a horrid feeling. Im toughening up here. Just shouted at DS . Confiscated his iPhone and he has stropped off to bed. Its school hols so he doest need it and he can have it back when he shows an inkling of respect and thanks for all he has.

I wouldn't ever expect him to worship me for anything. But just a word of recognition once a year is not too much to ask.

dojo DC are 4,3 and ONE WEEK.

I take it back. SIL launched DP into outer space, he took DC1 to get flowers and champagne. It isn't about the presents, it's caring enough about your contribution to make you feel special on an occaision noted for that purpose.

Compensates for 6 hour hospital trip with DC2!

Wow people really are being arses on this post. She isn't asking for diamonds or champagne, just a bit of recognition as the mother of his child/ren and a lie in!!!

Yes OP you have a right to be aggrieved. I would be too. What has happened to make this year different?

Don't have a row but just say to DP it upset you and what is different this year?

I'm sending you some virtual ??, ?? and ??

Mother's Day is just a big marketing swizz. We just used to get my mum a card and cook her Sunday lunch (8 is a bit young). Don't get swayed by all the materialistic hype (unless your P/H is a lazy fecker who takes you for granted year-round - in which case LTB!)

I know mothers day is in our face for weeks but it is so sad that some of this mothers on this thread seem so upset and sad their children /husbands dont appreciate them I guess it is the lack of thought that hurts rather than no gifts

I find it strange that you expect your DH to give you something for Mothers' Day. You are not his mother, after all! Presumably, he gives his own mother a card or gift and you do the same for your own mother, so surely the card from your DS is enough?

well dads really are the only ones who can buy a card or flowers if the kids are too young to do so, and you are the mother of his children I guess that counts

I worked from 7am till 6pm today. I got home at 7.30 after seeing my mum, had to make my own dinner and dh left the bunch of flowers that dd got for me at church at his mother's house.

So tbh you're already way ahead of me as you had the day off !

Skiing, don't blame you, that is really thoughtless of him.

Firstchoice - you're kinder than me, I would downgrade to card only next year!

I notice that by and large, the 'you're not his mother brigade state their view flatly, ie 'No one needs this stuff', whereas the other view allows for people to have their own feelings and needs. The second view seems a lot kinder to me.

Skiing, don't blame you, that is really thoughtless of him.

Firstchoice - you're kinder than me, I would downgrade to card only next year!

I notice that by and large, the 'you're not his mother brigade state their view flatly, ie 'No one needs this stuff', whereas the other view allows for people to have their own feelings and needs. The second view seems a lot kinder to me.

Your 8 year old very sweetly sorted it out for himself. Your DH obviously felt his input was unnecessary, and really, he was right. Definitely hormonal
My DH leaves it all to the kids too; oldest bought me a card, others made them at school/Beavers, it's fine.

Yes yes, round and round the argument goes. It's the same every year. The same arguments from both sides.

The op clearly isn't coming back, quit kicking someone when they are down.

Skiing - that is a massive over reaction. Get over yourself. Your choice to have kids.

What has 'your choice to have kids' got to do with it? Are you to expect nothing from them, ever, as a result?

Doinmummy your post made me so sad, it's not nice to feel worthless and unloved by your DD. Things may change though - I smiled when I saw the card and gift from my 25-year-old DD today - I think this is the first year since primary school she's bothered to mark the occasion - it's taken this long! - both my DDs love and appreciate me very much more since they got out of the teens and past 20. I am sure when her difficult years are over, your DD will come to her senses likewise.

You too skiingnomore and all under-appreciated mothers everywhere!