Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To think this parent was rude? (And unreasonable!)

150 replies

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 12:44

Took DD to nursery today... Yesterday she had a bad fall resulting in A&E for the day (the nursery called me to take her) and they had said to keep her off for the rest of the week but she was desperate to go today and wear her costume. She's looking a bit beaten up with a huge fat lip, graze on her forehead and bruise on her cheek. The nursery teacher told me that it was due to another boy pushing her to the floor and stepping on the side of her face (!!).. I get that accidents happen, but still annoying. I was informed that his mother would have to sign a form that an incident took place.

The parent in question turned up today and totally ignored me, her son wasn't dressed up and another mother asked her if she hasn't known about it, and she said 'yes, but with the stress of yesterday with seeing Mrs X about that girl... and how upset he was I just couldn't get a costume together!'

Well, her son doesn't have a mark on him, and my DD did nothing. So how he's stressed I have no idea. 'That girl' was nice too!

If it had been the other way round I wouldn't have made a big deal, or I would have apologised.

AIBU?

OP posts:

MostlyMama · 06/03/2014 12:46

I'd have laughed really loudly. Aw diddums, all stressed cause he beat someone up? She's going to have fun with him in a few years.

MostlyMama · 06/03/2014 12:46

oh and YANBU in the slightest.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2014 12:47

I think there was nothing wrong whatsoever in what she said.

Of course she was stressed because her child did something so nasty to yours. If she can't remember her name then 'that girl' will do.

She really should have apologised though

I would have done, no matter how mortified and stressed I was.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2014 12:48

Mostly so you wouldn't be at all stressed if your child beat someone up?

formerbabe · 06/03/2014 12:49

Mostlymama...I think 'beating up' sounds a bit harsh...they are toddlers!

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 12:50

Worra - she knows my daughters name. I'm 95% sure anyway...

And there were about 5 of us at the gate when she showed up. It was bloody awkward

I assumed she would just be normal and say hi at the very least!

OP posts:

ThefutureMrsTatum · 06/03/2014 12:51

YANBU - she should have asked if your DD was ok at least. And she used you as a scaoegoat for not bothering getting an outfit together.

Mandy21 · 06/03/2014 12:51

I'd have said, very politely, "that girl was my daughter. There has obviously been an incident and to a certain extent, there will be rough and tumble, but we spent the day in A&E, you only have to look at her face to see what happened, but to be honest, if I'd have been in your shoes, I'd have phoned the parent last night to apologise for my son's behaviour".

Joolsy · 06/03/2014 12:51

She was rude to ignore you. I would have had to say something, at least making my child apologise to yours. I sincerely hope that the nursery, and the other mother, are taking steps to ensure this doesn't happen again. Your poor DD.

formerbabe · 06/03/2014 12:51

Op...did the other mum know you were the mum of the girl that her son hurt? I wouldn't know whose parent was whose at my dds nursery.

WorraLiberty · 06/03/2014 12:51

She's probably mortified OP

She should still force herself to apologise though

Joolsy · 06/03/2014 12:52

PS - it doesn't sound like an accident from what you said

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 12:53

She does, I was talking to her last week about prams. She knows I'm 'that girls' mum..

OP posts:

angelos02 · 06/03/2014 12:54

yy mandy21

I would be mortified if a child of mine caused any pain and suffering to another one let alone the extent of the damage described in the OP.

formerbabe · 06/03/2014 12:55

Then yes, she should have apologised. In fact if my child had hurt another so badly they had to go to hospital, I would probably buy a small gift as an apology.

MostlyMama · 06/03/2014 12:55

I meant the kid

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 12:56

Well, I'm sketchy on the details. When they called me they said she'd collided with someone and hit her head. When I got there the teacher (a different one in the office) said that a boy had knocked her over and accidentally trodden on her. Because she looked like crap! Her shirt was covered in blood and she was really shocked, her mouth didn't stop bleeding for hours. And then when I signed the incident form it just said she was intentionally pushed.

So, not sure which one to take.

OP posts:

breatheslowly · 06/03/2014 12:57

Do you think she knows which child your daughter is and that you are her mother? If my child did that to another I would want to apologise, but I don't have a clue who the other children at nursery are and who their parents are. Typically the nursery doesn't tell us the names of other children involved in things which would prevent us from finding the parent and apologising. Luckily incidents have been trivial so far, the worst being my daughter getting a black eye.

I think that I would find it very stressful if my child injured another. It is just unlucky that you overheard the conversation.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 12:59

Breathe - I'm fairly certain she knows who me & my DD are.. And if she didn't my daughters face was clue enough I think.

OP posts:

Kendodd · 06/03/2014 13:03

Do you think she knows who her son injured? I know a school wouldn't tell a parent who a child had injured, just that they had hurt another child.

That's the only reason I can think of why she wouldn't have apologised to you as soon as she saw you.

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 13:06

Well, they told me who pushed her, so I assumed she knows who he pushed?

OP posts:

Flyonthewindscreen · 06/03/2014 13:07

I'm not the confrontational type but I don't think I would be able to have stopped myself from saying something along lines of "you had a stressful day, at least you didn't spend it at A&E!" when I overheard that conversation. Unless she is scary type?

I can't believe she hadn't been in touch to apologise already. My DS once was (accidentally) responsible for sending another child to A&E (collision in playground, DS small bump on head, other child broken nose). I was mortified and went to the child in question's house with a get well card and small gift. Also I found the other mother really wanted to hear the details of exactly what had happened, as, as in your case the teachers had been vague about how the accident had occurred.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 06/03/2014 13:14

I'm really surprised they told you who the boy was.

TBH, if it was my DS, I wouldn't apologise, for fear of outing him as the one who'd done it if you didn't know . Although I would be trying to hide from you at the gates...

I suspect the teachers are 'vague' on the details because they didn't see it happen. Sounds like he charged into her full pelt, which could have been accidentally, on purpose, or accidentally-on-purpose

Original poster

curiousgeorgie · 06/03/2014 13:15

They told me, first at the office and then when I signed the form. Didn't imply it was a secret.

OP posts:

Misspixietrix · 06/03/2014 13:17

YNBU. She sounds like the entitled twat mum I encountered once who took umbridge at being told her kid needed to keep their hands and feet to themselves. Also costume thing a cop out. Should have been more organised . I was in our City Centre less night. Plenty of places still had lots of costumes available for those Parents who simply hadn't 'had the time' to make one.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6