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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
Amber76 · 29/07/2013 22:23

I do this all the time in Tesco and its never been a problem.

SantanaLopez · 29/07/2013 22:25

As long as it doesn't need weighed.

HarderToKidnap · 29/07/2013 22:25

No, it's fine. I'm sure a lot of people will pile in and tell you off, but if you pay for it what on earth could the possible harm be? You're a paying customer, shopping with children is awful and whatever gets you through, really.

I'd probably write quite a shitty letter to them and then take my business elsewhere.

OwlinaTree · 29/07/2013 22:26

I've often drunk a bottle of pop and just paid for the empty bottle at the end.

Bit difficult if it was something like grapes or an apple that has to be weighed tho!

Original poster
cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:26

I have seen people do it before as well, I really didn't expect to be challenged about it.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 29/07/2013 22:26

Asking as it wasn't something that would need weighing at the till I don't see a problem with it. Although in a smaller shop I would probably go and pay for it before starting the rest.

Fanjango · 29/07/2013 22:27

My partner has diabetes and does this often. We've never had a problem, as pp says as long as its not a weighed item it is fine Smile

Original poster
cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:29

No it wasn't anything that needed to be weighed. It was a packet of crisps, dd was grumpy, screaming and having a tantrum and shouting she was hungry.

She has diabetes and her blood sugar was on the low side so I quickly gave her a snack to prevent it becoming a hypo. Usually I have a snack for her but she had had it already.

OP posts:
intheshed · 29/07/2013 22:29

My DC won't let me put a baguette in the trolley without ripping off the end for them to eat around the shop! With young children sometimes it's just easier. I guess if it was a smaller store it might be different?

arethereanyleftatall · 29/07/2013 22:29

Every single time I go shopping, the girls get a fruit box at the beginning which they eat whilst I shop, I pay for the empty cartons at the till. I have never had anyone take any notice of it. Also the Cashieres are never surprised so I assumed it happens all the time.

I had an extraordinary situation with a lovely cashier in Tesco today. DD dropped her melon slices on the floor, so I picked them up and put them back in the open pack and then asked cashier to discard them. She said, but it's almost full, do you want a replacement? I said it was my fault so no, not expecting that. She rang her bell and someone got me a new one free. Very impressed.

tiredmummy33 · 29/07/2013 22:30

i do this all the time i give my kids those little 50p pre packaged kids grapes. Or crisps. Food shopping with kids is hellish enough!

Doodlez · 29/07/2013 22:30

Many supermarkets know shoppers do this. I think they call it "aisle grazing" or summat like that.

If you give her something like grapes that should be weighed then you really are out of order. If you give her a packet of crisps which is just a packet label scan, then not much harm done.

Two things though:

  1. I've done it myself so I ain't claiming to be a saint but...

  2. It isn't the right thing to do. You should really pay first - that's the deal with shops and it's fair enough if security pulled you up for it. You were in the wrong - that's the bottom line. So, over all YABU.

soverylucky · 29/07/2013 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad · 29/07/2013 22:31

As long as its something that doesn't need weighing I can't see the problem .My mum is diabetic and has other health issues and she very often has to have something before we have paid when we are out ( usually a bottle of coke) ,its either that or have her collapsed in an aisle ! In your position I think I would write to head office and explain the circumstances ,stress how embarrassing it was being stopped ,and complain about your treatment .

frogspoon · 29/07/2013 22:31

Well, it's not really ok.

As you know she has a medical condition, and she was hungry when you went into the shop, you should have quickly bought an item and paid for it and given it to your daughter before starting the full shop.

The shop security would not recognise you, and therefore would not know that this was a one-off occurrence, for all they know this is routine shopping behaviour for you.

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 22:32

No problem at all as it wasn't an item that had to be weighed. Name and shame please.

And was it a manager or a shop assistant with a jumped of sense of authority?

Original poster
cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:33

I just think they went a bit over the top, it was quite busy and they were quite loud when asking me.

OP posts:
Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 22:33

Frogspoon. Why is it not ok? It isn't theft, and the goods have been paid for.

soverylucky · 29/07/2013 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa · 29/07/2013 22:34

It's theirs until you pay for it - what if you get to the till and you've list your purse or your card doesn't work or something else prevents you from paying?

I know people do it, but I don't like it - if they're that desperate to eat, why not just go and pay for that item and then carry on shopping?

piratecat · 29/07/2013 22:35

yes ywbu.

annoys the hell out of me. it's not yours till paid for.

Bowlersarm · 29/07/2013 22:35

Most people, including me, have done this. It doesn't make it right though!

Technically it's stealing as it's goods consumed that you haven't paid for. Supposing you had forgotten your purse?

So as you have posted in AIBU I would have to say YABU ( but only a bit as everyone has done it)

AgentProvocateur · 29/07/2013 22:36

I've never seen anyone do this! I must go round the supermarket in a trance.

I think YABU - it would have taken a couple of minutes to pay for it before you gave it to your DC. I don't like the idea of people eating food they've not paid for, although I can't articulate why. It just doesn't sit right with me, although I appreciate I am in a minority.

MalcolmTuckersMum · 29/07/2013 22:36

Was it Asda?

morethanpotatoprints · 29/07/2013 22:37

I have never done this with any child, but your child has a health issue and they should have listened.
I'd have been tempted to tell them you'll shop at x because they let you do this, etc.
What bloody jobs worth.