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AIBU?

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Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 29/07/2013 23:41

How can it not be theft until you leave the shop when it's gone with no way of returning it.

Not leaving the shop is because until that point you can either pay for it or give it back and you haven't permanently deprived the owner of it...that doesn't work with food that has been eaten, it's already permanently gone and you haven't paid for it.

ZingWidge · 29/07/2013 23:42

caboodle mine did that with plastic wrapped cucumbers. they weren't even organic Sad

whois · 29/07/2013 23:43

I actually think its wrong to do this. Most supermarkets have a kiosk now so you can easily pay for a snack item then carry on with your shooing. Not a major deal though.

ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 23:43

If you discard the wrapper on your way round it certainly looks as though you have no intention of paying. The same applies if you eat loose fruit from display.

WestieMamma · 29/07/2013 23:44

I used to work for Sainsbury's. They covered this as part of their shop-lifting awareness training for staff. They were pretty clear that it is not acceptable because very few people actually pay for what they've eaten. We taught to report all cases to security, although I don't think anyone ever bothered.

Caboodle · 29/07/2013 23:44

Grin ZingWidge

thornrose · 29/07/2013 23:48

I just don't get it. My dd is 13 and I've shopped before school, after school and in many different scenarios over the years. I've never had to give her a packet of crisps, or any other food, to stop her from starving or screaming.

Viviennemary · 29/07/2013 23:48

I think you should pay for food before eating it in a supermarket. I did not realise that many people think it's quite acceptable not to. What is the problem with paying for something first. Just because you run out of snacks doesn't mean you can eat a snack before you have paid for it.

tittytittyhanghang · 29/07/2013 23:51

But until you leave the shop without paying for it, its still not theft. You may have permanently deprived the owner of it but no shop can take you to court for that especially if your intentions were to pay for it at checkouts.

tittytittyhanghang · 29/07/2013 23:53

Id imagine its perhaps a loose company policy but certainly in my local Tesco it has never been displayed or enforced.

daddoinghisbest · 30/07/2013 00:00

I'm more pissed off when I'm on a mission to get in and out of Sainsbury's ASAP only to find the self serve tills clogged up by people doing their monthly shop - often one handed as they chat on their phone at the same time. The supervisor says they're supposed to be basket only, but they don't want the Agro of enforcing it.

rainbowsparkles · 30/07/2013 00:01

It's theft via consumption and you can be prosecuted for it though it costs alot to do that so most places don't bother. Most retailers don't bat an eyelid when parents give their child something going round a shop because 99% pay at the till, I suspect the employee has just under gone some training and was simply doing her job, security wouldn't have been doing theirs if they hadn't have told you to pay first next time. I don't think YWBU to do it tho your dc health comes first

bordellosboheme · 30/07/2013 00:08

Yanbu I do it all the time.

LadyBeagleEyes · 30/07/2013 00:09

You remember that too 5madthings Grin
That was a humdinger of a thread.
The rage. The drama.
I even got deleted.
I'm looking forward to how this one goes, I'm off to bed so please don't let it kick off till tomorrow.

lottieandmia · 30/07/2013 00:14

Ah, the infamous grape thread Grin

Which shop was it OP? Well it's not theft because theft only occurs when you leave the shop and you didn't pay. I try to encourage my kids to wait until I've paid but your situation was totally reasonable imo and what you did was fine. I have certainly done this in Tescos and nobody bats an eyelid.

After all in a restaurant you don't pay until after you consumed the food...

chattychattyboomba · 30/07/2013 00:15

If I didn't let my 2 year old munch away on something I chuck in the trolley i would never ever get any shopping done... And I have never, not even once been questioned about it. We shop at Asda, the co-op, stainsbury, whole foods, waitrose... Never ever had an issue. If they ever said anything I would probably say- you'll lose customers treating people with such suspicion! (In my head because I am a wimp and wouldn't actually go back because I would be scared they would remember me as the almost thief) lol

tittytittyhanghang · 30/07/2013 00:20

I thought legally it could only be theft by consumption once you left the store. Until that point technically its only consumption. Consumption (before payment) may be against company policy and definitely not illegal but it can't be classed as theft until you leave the premises.

BuildMeUpButtercup · 30/07/2013 00:23

I commented on this very topic on here under a previous user name and got shouted down! Grin
Yes, you should pay before actually eating the stuff. How is it any different from setting up in the middle of aisle 4 with a hot rotisserie chicken in your chops while you sit on your fold up camping chair?! Why is one acceptable but the other isn't?!

ilovesooty · 30/07/2013 00:24

If I didn't let my 2 year old munch away on something I chuck in the trolley i would never ever get any shopping done

So if it's necessary for your child to graze why can't you buy the item first?

BuildMeUpButtercup · 30/07/2013 00:25

Oh my word, it was a packet of crisps for a diabetic child!

So why not take some food WITH you then?!

LackaDAISYcal · 30/07/2013 00:25

As you know she has a medical condition, and she was hungry when you went into the shop, you should have quickly bought an item and paid for it and given it to your daughter before starting the full shop

How would this have helped? unless the shop assistant/security guard had witnessed this act of buying it before starting the full shop and if the Dd was grazing as the shop commenced, the OP would probably still have been subjected to the stop and search. Or should the OP have quickly bought something, gone out of the shop and waited for her DD to eat it before commencing the shop?

I suspect that the shop have maybe had recent issues with people not paying and are clamping down on it.

I do this myself with prepacked stuff and have never had an issue with it, apart from one cashier who wanted to get me a new packet of something as "this one is open and I think there are some missing" Grin

chattychattyboomba · 30/07/2013 00:25

Because it would mean queuing... With a 2 year old...twice...

ilovesooty · 30/07/2013 00:27

Well if your child needs to graze and you can't cope with a minimal wait at a SS checkout why don't you take a snack with you?

LackaDAISYcal · 30/07/2013 00:27

Buildmeup, the OP has explained that her DD had already eaten the snack that she usually has to hand, but needed something else, diabetes being an unpredictable kind of illness.

chattychattyboomba · 30/07/2013 00:28

Meh... Because as I say... It's never ever been an issue...