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AIBU?

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Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
Talkinpeace · 29/07/2013 22:52

ilovesooty
in a normal supermarket you cant.
in Waitrose you put it on the scales, get the price sticker, scan that and can then eat the fruit.

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 22:53

I can guarantee that sock is right, after trying to get the police to deal with someone who had taken goods from where I was working as they wanted a refund on something.

The police said that they could not deal with it is a name and address had been left and that the legal definition of theft was to permanently deprive ( or ave the intention to).

I did ask them if this would work in a shop and they said yes.

2rebecca · 29/07/2013 22:53

I've never done this, although generally tried to avoid supermarket shopping with small kids and have their dad look after them where possible. I also go with the don't go shopping when you are hungry philosophy and usually try and go just after a meal. If I go on the way home from work I buy too much crap, so i only buy a few essentials then. If I did have a hungry child I'd buy whatever i was feeding them, feed them it outside the shop and then go back in to do the shopping having cleaned them up.

marriedinwhiteisback · 29/07/2013 22:53

When mine were tiny I used to factor in lunch during the supermarket shop. Once or twice I waved an empty packet at an assistant with a "not a problem I hope - I'll be paying at the till". Was never every questioned - in fact the lady on the deli counter used to give them little chicken on stick things and wink at me Shock.

Had I been confronted with security I think I'd have quite enjoyed it. "Here's my nectar/clubcard - now take it to the manager, check what I spend in here every week and now start telling me I've done something wrong by letting my children eat one packet of crisps from a six pack that I have just paid for - in fact no, don't bother, because I'll return the card to head office and they can check it out - what did you say your name ws btw". As you were.

needaholidaynow · 29/07/2013 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SunnyIntervals · 29/07/2013 22:54

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Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 22:55

Bowlersarm. You are describing theft when someone throws the packaging away which s totally unacceptable. If you intend to pay for the goods I cannot see any issue at all.

holidaysarenice · 29/07/2013 22:56

Having worked in asda you'd be surprised at the number of people who can munch a loaf of bread whilst shopping....

Or a multipack of crisps...all 6 bags!!

ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 22:56

Thanks Talkinpeace

In that case:

My dd always always has a pear and an orange in sainsburys while we go round with the trolley

I don't see how this gets paid for.

Bowlersarm · 29/07/2013 22:57

Ilovemyself but why should the shopkeeper have to determine whether there was an intention to pay or not? If everyone waited the few minutes until they got to the checkout then it wouldn't be a problem.

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 22:59

I'm amazed that so many people think this is ok. If the child has a medical condition and needs food that instant, then tell customer services before eating their stock, or quickly buy something and then do the shopping. The supmarkets don't have the staff to monitor the grazers. Regularly I see parents in my local sainsbury's unable to say no to their offspring's demand for food, giving them what they want, then just discarding the wrapping and not paying for it. It teaches children that theft is ok, and the supermarket is a place to eat. (Possibly might change my name to Victor Meldrew)

marriedinwhiteisback · 29/07/2013 22:59

Because if you buy two pears and two oranges - you ask for them to be put through twice at the counter or you buy them in bags for a set price for four or six etc.

Caboodle · 29/07/2013 23:00

Uh oh, I have done this on a number of occasions.....I have always paid, never seen it as a problem and never been confronted by a member of staff either. (I have always given my DCs something from a packet though...)
Litter, however, does come home with my in my handbag.
Is it theft? But I always pay. If I forgot my purse I would return and pay.
I'm thinking maybe it's a good job most of my shopping is now done online Wink

maddy68 · 29/07/2013 23:00

I wouldn't give mine any until they were paid for. Surely it's theft until payment?

Cherriesarelovely · 29/07/2013 23:01

Presumably some people graze on the way around and then don't pay. It must be hard for the staff to determine who intends to and who doesn't I guess.

arethereanyleftatall · 29/07/2013 23:02

I had no idea it upset people that I do this.
In fact, I pretty much ensure the dds are hungry when we go shopping. They get their 5 a day, maybe 10, they keep quiet all the,way round, I buy our weekly shop, plus their empty packets. Surely, everyone wins.

tabulahrasa · 29/07/2013 23:02

How can it not be theft until you leave the store? It's gone, you can't give it back if you find yourself unable to pay...Hmm

Intending to do something doesn't change what you've actually done - it's not about intent, but actions otherwise you couldn't be convicted of any crime that it would be possible to intend to do something else.

ZingWidge · 29/07/2013 23:03

I once asked a shop assistant to open a bottle of coke for me. I had no strength I was pg and suddenly felt very sick and dizzy and as it was the norm for me I knew something fizzy would help.

he started arguing that I had to pay first.
I told him ok but I'm pg and about to vomit - is he happy to clean up my sick then?
he handed me the open bottle.
I had a few gulps and stared at the shelves. he left

I regularly give my kids a piece of baguette or a rice cake out of a bag while walking round the aisles and I don't care what anyone thinks.
if it was a crime they should arrest me.
not happened yet, so I will continue to do so if needed as I can't always be super organized.
I always pay for everything.

I do understand why a shop insists on paying first and they are right to ask the customers to do so, but I think if a bag or such is opened and kept in full sight and only a small portion of the contents is used as a quick (emergency) remedy the intention of paying is clear.

Caboodle · 29/07/2013 23:03

And as for telling customer services first...really? I would think the very busy staff have better things to think about. Do people really go ask check with Customer services first? Who has actually done this? I am genuinely interested.

needaholidaynow · 29/07/2013 23:03

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

megsmouse · 29/07/2013 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwelveLeggedWalk · 29/07/2013 23:04

Actually Waitrose now do that free coffee for card holders thing, which they're obviously expecting you to drink on the way round the shop, and they're always next to a big rack of biscuits and snacks for sale.

Vijac · 29/07/2013 23:04

I do this though I am embarrassed by it when I get to the checkout. It sometimes just gets you though the shop! Do really think being diabetic/pregnant etc is an excuse as supermarkets are responsible for our planning. Nonetheless I would be annoyed if I was taken to task as everyone knows that lots of people do it and it is at least partly to save their staff screaming all day.

ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 23:04

Because if you buy two pears and two oranges - you ask for them to be put through twice at the counter or you buy them in bags for a set price for four or six etc

The bag thing I can understand, but I don't see why the staff should have to monitor putting the correct items of loose fruit through the tills.

Kaekae · 29/07/2013 23:05

I've done it when I have had the children with me, I try not to make a habit of it as my children are five and three now so don't want them thinking it is an ok thing to do.