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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 23:06

Shops budget for it!? You mean we all pay for it.

thornrose · 29/07/2013 23:07

OP could you not have picked up snacks and paid at self serve checkout then carried on shopping in peace knowing your dc was fed and happy?

I've never done this myself. I wouldn't dream of picking up food and eating whilst shopping so I wouldn't do the same for my dd.

My dd has Aspergers and has always been a nightmare to shop with but I've never needed to feed her before paying at the checkout.

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 23:08

Bowlersarm. The shopkeeper doesn't have to determine anything as you will,pay before you leave the shop. Those that suggest taking in food and eating that are far more of an issue as they have no proof they didn't take it from the shop and were never going to pay for it.

I think you are really making a mountain out of a molehill ( or are the the shopkeeper concerned lol)

primarymonkeyhanger · 29/07/2013 23:08

I often see empty packets discarded around the supermarket and often wonder if they were dropped by 'grazers' I don't think everyone one has the intention to pay. So tbh I think the store security were in the right.

soverylucky · 29/07/2013 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/07/2013 23:09

She is incorrect. Unless the item you gave your daughters price was related to how much it weighed. In which case, she is correct.

ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 23:10

The shopkeeper doesn't have to determine anything as you will,pay before you leave the shop

Yes, but not everyone does. There is manpower and cost involved in monitoring it.

TarkaTheOtter · 29/07/2013 23:10

It may not be theft but if the shop doesn't want you to do they have every right to ban it. It's not a basic human right to consume food you haven't paid for. Why should they allow it if it costs then money in losses/monitoring.

Caboodle · 29/07/2013 23:10

Anyhow OP, YWNBU.....your DC had to eat. DC ate, you paid.

waterlego6064 · 29/07/2013 23:10

I've never done this. I think it's bad manners, personally. (Urgent medical need aside). My DCs have managed to get though hundreds of supermarket trips without having to eat on the way round, or eating something from a Tupperware container which has fairly obviously been brought from home.

LadyBeagleEyes · 29/07/2013 23:11

Everybody does it and it has produced many a contentious thread on here.
Some people think it's akin to mugging an OAP, the supermarkets don't care or there would be signs all over the place and they'd have to double security.
The assistant that watched you sounds like a total jobsworth.
As long as it's paid for at the till it's all fine.
Actually the most fighty thread I've ever been on involved eating good before paying, with multi deletions and some very angry people.
I look forward to how this one will go

GreatSoprendo · 29/07/2013 23:11

Last week I saw a woman with a screaming baby literally sprint into the baby aisle in Tesco, grab a pack of dummies, rip them open and give one straight to her LO.....!

EarthtoMajorTom · 29/07/2013 23:15

Diabetes aside, why do so many children have food while in supermarkets now? Nobody did this when I was a kid. I don't see why kids can't learn to deal with boring stuff when they're kids. It prepares you for boredom when an adult!

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 23:16

Is the fact that it's a supermarket a factor? If you owned a small farm shop or grocer's, would you be happy to see people eating your stock? Would you not worry that the food would not be paid for? And without being too much of a dinosaur, why teach children to see a shopping trip as a mealtime?

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 23:16

Waterlego. Why is it obvious the contents of your Tupperware container was brought from home? It could be that you took the contents from packed products ( not you personally of course)

EarthtoMajorTom · 29/07/2013 23:17

Or they can just chew on their amber teething necklaces...

ddubsgirl · 29/07/2013 23:17

Sadly it happens all the time :( we see it and we can't say anything often packets found stuffed on shelves etc where people have scoffed the food and don't bother to pay and no it's not budgeted for :( on counters theft goes against our budget and we can't account for theft :( which means we have our hours cut :(

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 23:17

I wonder how many saying this is wrong will also complain about screaming children when shopping lol

possum18 · 29/07/2013 23:18

I work as a manager in a supermarket and our company rules are that it is not allowed. Having said that, I see it happen all the time and have never and would never say anything to anyone doing it with a child.
Occasionally I've given the odd adult a funny look tucking into a packet of crisps, but as long as the empty packet goes through the till its no harm done!!!

waterlego6064 · 29/07/2013 23:19

Well it could be, but I would think that shop staff would consider it less likely. That would involve a certain amount of subtle faffery just to steal items of low value. If a person is buying a trolley full of shopping, would they bother to surreptitiously dispense a packet of rice cakes into a Tupperware container?

thornrose · 29/07/2013 23:19

So, is it acceptable for adults to munch food as they shop or just children?

waterlego6064 · 29/07/2013 23:19

(My previous post in answer to ILM

ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 23:20

ddubgirl I doubt if many even consider the impact of theft and the monitoring of potential theft on the livelihoods of the staff.

Tuppenceinred · 29/07/2013 23:21

"Everyone does this..." No - they don't. I've never done it and I think it's a relatively new development.

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 23:21

Ahh - screaming children! I'd rather see a child screaming through learning the meaning of no, than seeing the parent stuffing it's face with the shops stock. :-)

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