Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to give dd food before paying for it?

735 replies

cantsleep · 29/07/2013 22:20

Went to shops today with dcs. Dd was a bit tired and hungry and I wanted to get in and out quickly and home.

She was very hungry and has health issues and needed to eat that minute so I picked something up and let her have it. I have not done this before but couldn't have gone and paid then given it to her and continued shopping as she needed to eat straight away. Usually I have a snack in my bag for her but she had already had that one and I was going to buy more snack bits for her from the shops to replenish the ones I carry for her.

I noticed that a shop assistant was watching us intently and kept seeing her as we went round the shop.

When we got to the till I took the packet off dd for the man to scan and gave it back to her. As we were leaving the member of staff who had been watching approached us with a security guard and asked had we paid for what dd had eaten round the shop. I replied yes we had but she asked to check the receipt which obviously was fine.

She then told me that in future we HAD to pay for food before consuming it. I explained to her that it was a one off as I had run out of snacks I usually carry and dd needed to eat immediately but the security guard said food has to be paid for first.

It wasn't like I do this all the time and tbh as long as the food is paid for does it really matter?

WIBU to have let dd eat her snack before we had paid for it?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 29/07/2013 23:22

I suspect the "recently new development" has its roots in instant gratification.

Nanny0gg · 29/07/2013 23:23

I think it's wrong, since you ask.

It's not yours till you've paid for it. (And I wonder how many people don't...)

Would you do it in a corner shop? Or is it ok because it's a faceless supermarket.

And I agree with EarthtoMajorTom. I didn't feed my children when shopping (30 years ago). They got something afterwards as a treat for good behaviour sometimes. If your DD has health issues, what would have happened if you ran out of snack in a non-food store? You should surely have back-up.

I've been thirsty when I've started shopping before, so I went and bought a drink (really easy with self-service tills now) and then continued to shop.

Don't do it.

popserinis · 29/07/2013 23:24

Oh my word, it was a packet of crisps for a diabetic child! My child has no such illness yet when she was younger I would think nothing of handing the multipack for scanning with one missing. In my view, supermarkets get 7k of our hard earned wages per year and their tollerance of this is displayed by great customer service seen in most case. If you spent that amount of money on a holiday and were treated like that once a year, you wouldn't be too pleased. Perspective please people.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 29/07/2013 23:24

i must be blind because I've never seen shoppers do this, but then I'm too busy reading ingredient lists on packs. i don't think its right since its not paid for. Bt that assistant was stupid in watching, why didnt she say "can i quickly run that through the till for you then you can carry on shopping". Or "can you please pay for the item before consuming it please" at which point she would have heard your explanation. There was no need for her to get security i suspect she was too scared to approach you that's why she waited just before you left and got security as back up lool

since you say you never do it and it was an emergency i don't think you're unreasonable, but it is reasonable that they question whether you paid for it, try and see it from their point of view. but unreasonable that they question you in public loudly why not take you aside. They could see you did a big shop so why would you not pay for one measly item, sadly common sense is lacking greatly in society.

usualsuspect · 29/07/2013 23:25

I've been doing it for years.

Meh, as long as you pay for it , it's no biggie.

ddubsgirl · 29/07/2013 23:25

Your right they don't :( I have said before at work we should have tills at counters and make people pay for their stuff ESP as its chickens etc often whole chicken is found on shelve or in the fridges etc as they change their mind and can't be bothered to bring it back so it's wasted and goes against us :(

Ilovemyself · 29/07/2013 23:26

No problem with security checking but the approach used was wrong

AnnaFiveTowns · 29/07/2013 23:26

It's not theft. It's neither illegal nor immoral.

Tweasels · 29/07/2013 23:28

People eat whole chickens on the way round the supermarket?

I can hand on heart say neither myself or the children have done that Grin

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 23:31

People eat whole chickens? I wonder if they fire up a microwave in general goods and pop in a bird from the poultry section. Maybe crack a bottle of vino collapso too?

ddubsgirl · 29/07/2013 23:31

Not whole chicken lol but the drumsticks sausages etc they do! Even stood there in front of me and stuff it Shock but we have a whole chickens come back after found on a shelf etc and gone cold so we have to waste them that's over £5 worth of stock add that up over a week it adds up :( empty packets found with item gone or half eaten chicken legs and its not paid for

5madthings · 29/07/2013 23:32

I have done it and I sometimes do it with my kids, thge supermarkets don't care.

I was on the last thread about this with ladybeagle and mrsdevere was on it as well, there were deletions and it all got rather heated!

Meh its no big deal but some get their budget pants in a right wedgey about it.

usualsuspect · 29/07/2013 23:32

I'd rather see a happy child with a bag of crisps than a screaming child and its po faced parent.

complexnumber · 29/07/2013 23:32

"Everyone does this..." No - they don't. I've never done it and I think it's a relatively new development

I've been doing it for decades in 3 different continents

HorryIsUpduffed · 29/07/2013 23:33

I don't do it. Enough people "aisle graze" and discard the wrapper in another aisle that a store detective would have to assume you were a baddy.

I have grabbed, paid, taken wailing child outside to eat, and come back to locate trolley five minutes later. Pain in the arse but so is sprinting to the loo when your preschooler suddenly wants a poo when you're the furthest away from the door Angry

I agree that aside from the potential theft issue it is a more social lesson of waiting until you've paid and left the shop. Children aren't thick, by and large: they can learn rules about How Things Work in various places.

tittytittyhanghang · 29/07/2013 23:33

meh, I do it, or actually ds does it. Its not theft till you leave the shop without paying.

Do lots of people eat food and not pay? I dont think ive ever seen empty food packets discarded in my tescos. But ive see the local junkies and general good for nowts come in and nonchalantly try and steal a 50 inch tv amongst other things (usually vodka). I think thats who the security guard also keeps an eye out for!

Jan49 · 29/07/2013 23:34

I'm amazed to hear that people do this. I've never done it for myself or my dc. Very occasionally I've felt faint with hunger when about to do supermarket shopping and I've gone in and bought one item, gone outside and eaten it, and then returned to do the shopping. I've never eaten in a supermarket or let a child do that.

Most supermarkets have a till where you can pay quickly or customer services so you can deal with it quickly. OP, you could have let her dd eat some of the crisps whilst walking to a self service till or customer services and paid for the crisps. She'd have got the food just as quickly but you'd have paid as soon as possible too.

thornrose · 29/07/2013 23:34

What are budget pants??

5madthings · 29/07/2013 23:37

Judgey pants but autocorrect prefers budget pants and I bet some judgey pants are indeed wearing budget judgey pants! Grin

daddoinghisbest · 29/07/2013 23:37

Is it just food that's an issue? I must admit the other day I found myself busting for a shag, and I happened to be next to the durex display. Thankfully I resisted breaking open a pack and taking my partner up the aisle Grin

Caboodle · 29/07/2013 23:38

Reading this thread has reminded me about the many times DS2 (when much younger) would reach into the trolley and eat the loaf through the plastic wrapper....theft AND poor parenting.

fuckwittery · 29/07/2013 23:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thornrose · 29/07/2013 23:39

Oh yes, I should've guessed it was the dreaded autocorrect, duh.

ZingWidge · 29/07/2013 23:40

nanny

I never go to a corner shop.

it takes me 1-2 hours to get the shopping done, including the driving.
if I go straight after the school run that could be a 3 hour round trip on a Monday morning.

so if I forget the bloody rice cakes for my 15 month old DD I'm not going to let her scream.
she doesn't understand no.
or yes. or wait.

again, if what I do is against the law they should arrest me., but I won't punish her for my forgetfulness!

usualsuspect · 29/07/2013 23:40

Lol at budget judgey pants