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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

378 replies

Theas18 · 30/06/2013 12:43

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

OP posts:
CunningAtBothEnds · 30/06/2013 12:47

Well thats a balanced and well
Rounded post... Confused

GetStuffezd · 30/06/2013 12:49

Not your business how she chooses to feed her baby.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 30/06/2013 12:49

Yabu. Maybe she doesn't want other people to see her nipples when the baby moves its head?

kungfupannda · 30/06/2013 12:50

I'm absolutely in support of women's right to feed their babies however, whenever and wherever they like, and anyone who doesn't like it can simply use their neck muscles for their designated purpose and turn their head away.

But, I don't think you can assume that a woman using a cover is doing so because she is feeling oppressed by society. I've been to breastfeeding support groups where women have chosen to feed under covers, and most women I know will make at least some attempt to keep partially covered up while feeding.

I have large breasts and I don't particularly like flashing them to all and sundry, even when feeding. Not because I care if someone doesn't like it, but because it's not a part of my body that I generally have on display. I used to feed DS2 in the sling, and that generally kept things discreet, but I did occasionally drape things over us if he was being particularly wriggly, or if I was somewhere very busy.

It's entirely up to her if she wants to feed under a cover.

MorrisZapp · 30/06/2013 12:50

Good for her having the confidence to bf out and about. I never managed it. So what if she uses a bit of cloth - that's all it is.

Save your tears.

WarmAndSunny · 30/06/2013 12:51

My kids were on and off my boobs after abut four months if fed when we were out. They were so easily distracted by every noise going. I didn't want people seeing my nipples....so yabu. How she feeds is up to her.

kungfupannda · 30/06/2013 12:52

And if the baby is only a month old, she might be struggling with latch, positioning etc. It doesn't mean she's going to feed under a cover forevermore and "give up" at 6 months.

TidyDancer · 30/06/2013 12:53

Of course YABU. But I suspect deep down you know that.

elvislives2012 · 30/06/2013 12:53

Why do u care and what has it got to do with you? Confused
She's feeding her baby the best way she can. Wind your neck in!!

mumbaisapphire · 30/06/2013 12:54

I'm new to breastfeeding and I use one in public, because it makes me feel comfortable. I'm still a bit all fingers and thumbs at this stage and I can assure you that you see way more than just the back of my baby's head as I have to attempt latching several times etc. Neither of us have perfected it yet and I would rather deal with the latching and relaunching etc under a cover than have to do it out in the open. Whether I will use one as we get better i don't know but for now YABU.

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/06/2013 12:55

Yabu.

It's none of your business now she chooses to feed her baby.

Maybe the baby is easily distracted whilst being fed and she doesn't like having her actual boob on display/feeding taking 5 times longer than it does with the cover on?

MamaChubbyLegs · 30/06/2013 12:55

Not everyone feels comfortable getting boobs out in public Hmm

picnicbasketcase · 30/06/2013 12:55

I think there are things more worthy for you to feel sad about. Be happy that she has a baby, that the baby is being fed, and that she's confident enough to bf in public places, rather than spend energy worrying about the baby being slightly hidden from view.

elvislives2012 · 30/06/2013 12:55

Oh and have a Biscuit

freelancegirl · 30/06/2013 12:55

I used one for the first few weeks whilst struggling to get the hang of it and spending a few moments getting the baby latched on. It can be embarrassing to some people at that early stage when neither you or the babies might be pro and latch/feeding position takes some setting up and fiddling around. After that initial few weeks I've been happy to feed anywhere without one and am still doing so almost a year later. Please don't feel saddened, better that than feel you have to run home :)

mumbaisapphire · 30/06/2013 12:56

*re-latching

landofsoapandglory · 30/06/2013 12:56

Mind your own business. They weren't around when my two were babies so I covered up with blankets and muslins if I felt self conscious, but I know one woman who didn't bf because she was too embarrassed to do it in front of strangers. Maybe of she could have used one of these she would have.

YABVU!

BrianTheMole · 30/06/2013 12:57

Its up to her. I cant see a problem with it.

MrsBungle · 30/06/2013 12:57

Yabu. Your post comes over as judgy to me. Saying that you expect people who cover up a bit probably give up at 6 months due to baby not tolerating it. Christ, it's not good enough now to breast feed but you have to do it a certain way Angry

I covered up a bit in the beginning both times with my 2. Whilst struggling with latch etc. a few weeks down the line I wasn't bothered.

Each to their own, mind your own business.

chickenliversfortea · 30/06/2013 12:59

YANBU - hate the whole idea of "being discreet". It's not getting your tits out it's feeding your child.
Can't see any reason to be embarrassed about any part of it including - gasp- nipples.
Of course it's your right to do what you want when feeding but I can't help feeling it adds to the impression that tits are for naughtiness rather than providing the best food for a baby.

Sheilathegreat · 30/06/2013 12:59

It is absolutely none of your business as someone else said- save your tears. If I hadn't have had my cape as I called it as I often forgot it was on and left it flapping behind me then I would never have got thought those first difficult months. And it really was that long and that difficult for me. She's breast feeding her baby- that's all that matters.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo · 30/06/2013 13:00

boobs should not be any different to legs or arms, it is sad they've been so over sexualised that women feel they have to cover them yes.

that doesnt mean is slating nothers who dont feel comfortable does it?

Startail · 30/06/2013 13:01

I think it's very sad some people feel embarrassed to feed in public, but better under a cover than not at all.

In any case she may have a horrible digit of a baby or a top that offers no cover at all.

I think most of us would use a scarf or something in a wrap dress even if we are totally blasé feeding under a Tshirt.

I'm sure MN would have judged that I often sent DH to order food and fed DD1 in the car. She was hopeless, she hated BFing and the slightest excuse had her pull off even when really small.

ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo · 30/06/2013 13:01

that doesn't mean op is slating

Startail · 30/06/2013 13:01

Fidget not digit