to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

[Theas18]

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

[whatacrappyweekendthatwas]

I love the way everyone is determined to ignore the real point that the OP is making - which is about how our culture makes us feel about breastfeeding.

Why no acknowledgement that women's self consciousness and feelings of shame regarding visible breastfeeding impacts on breastfeeding rates and mothers' feelings of ease while doing it? When I see someone feeding under one of this monstrosities I have two thoughts: 'glad she's breastfeeding' and 'what a shame she feels embarrassed enough to have to hide it'. This. I hate the way that many MNers are so determined to find an argument and deliberately misunderstand what people have posted just for the sake of it.

[jeansthatfit]

Doesn't it occur to you cover-bashers that you might be making women who feel a little uncertain or self conscious about breastfeeding feel WORSE?

Is that so hard to understand? Btw, I find the OP's assumption that using a cover means those women will stop breastfeeding at 6 months very stupid. If we want to play a guessing game, why not imagine that havjng fed for that long on their own terms, and become more adept at it, as you do, then those mothers may cover up less as they get more confident?

Nah. Just look at them and pity them. Might it not, dare I suggest, be a case of 'oneupmumship' going on here? 'My breastfeeding is better than theirs?'

As a non cover using breastfeeding mother, I think if you want to change society's attitudes towards breasts, stop getting at breastfeeding mothers and start campaigning against lads mags, sexy tweeny clothes, the ubiquity of porn, the jokes and sexual references in what passes for family entertainment, and the casual sexism that informs so much 'banter'.

[Minifingers]

"Non BFing women, men and children don't usually walk around topless in cafes etc. "

"But feeling "sad" because someone doesn't feel comfortable getting their baps out in public"

"maybe you could spend a few weeks out and about with nipples on display"

For those of you whose comments are actually about ridiculing normal, unselfconscious breastfeeding as practiced by the vast majority of women since we first crawled out of the swamp, as a Benny Hill type event ('Baps', 'Flopping them out') involving prolonged nudity and deliberate exhitionism - can I show you these pictures, as maybe they will make the point that you are spectacularly missing:

unembarrassed

unembarrassed


unembarrassed



unembarrassed

unembarrassed

unembarrassed

unembarrassed

selfconscious

selfconscious

[Abra1d]

I don't get all these comments about people wanting to flash their nipples around. You don't need to if you're wearing an ordinary, reasonably generous t-shirt or vest. Or if you have a scarf or muslin.

[OliviaYouCannotBSeriousMumsnet]

Spreading a bit more peace and love

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Whatever helps people relax enough to feed in public comfortably. No big deal imo.

[maternitart]

Yes jeans. Some people just love to bang their drum.

I can only speak for myself and perhaps I'm unusual but I'm in fact LESS self conscious now as a BFer and mother than I've ever been before. I don't have a special cover bib but there have been times especially early on when I used a muslin or similar to cover up, and it was never about not feeling confident about my body, or embarrassed.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

I think bf looks beautiful, but as kungfupanda said earlier, you don't suddenly change from a person who doesn't show bits of her body in public to one who does.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Minfingers

I don't think I have missed the point

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Jeans

I agree with you.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

You know what, I found bf really fucking hard. Especially in the beginning and if I choose to wear a cover so as not to expose any nipple or breast while I am faffing around getting the baby latched that is entirely up to me!

[hermioneweasley]

I quite like that "ta dah" element of BFing covers. And for my next trick....nothing up me sleeves...nothing in my hat....ta dah - a baby! Just me then?

[Eyesunderarock]

Yup. I agree Miss Betsey.
I'd like to see an end to judging other women and making them feel embarrassed about what and how they feed their babies.
I'm leading the way for the emancipation of the female form from the tyranny of societal expectations though. Too late to feed babies with everything on show as an expression of freedom.
But...I don't use hair dye on my long grey hair. .
I walk around looking my real age every day. Brave enough?

[Minifingers]

"Doesn't it occur to you cover-bashers that you might be making women who feel a little uncertain or self conscious about breastfeeding feel WORSE?"

What - by pointing out that breastfeeding is nothing to ashamed of?

What about if I came on this thread arguing that mums who feel embarrassed/ashamed about not breastfeeding could use these as a way of hiding that they were bottle feeding? And maybe set up a company saying 'self-conscious about not using formula? Buy one of these covers and then you can pretend you're breastfeeding underneath! It'll make you feel so much more comfortable when you're out in public and don't want to be judged!'

You'd all be piling in saying 'that's awful!'

[Eyesunderarock]

Oh how tedious minifingers, I suggested that ages ago.
Albeit I think I was arguing that it could be protection and deception for the roving bands of LLL fanatics.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

Mini

They are not hiding the fact that they are breastfeeding, perhaps. They are hiding their breasts.


The female body is nothing to be ashamed of, i'm quite happy with mine, and yet I don't get mine out in front of strangers, in changing rooms for instance. Doesn't stop me going swimming though.

[Minifingers]

Yes -breastfeeding under a cover is your choice, and nobody thinks you're a 'bad muvva' for doing it.

Nobody is judging individual women here for being self-conscious.

A point which everyone seems determined to ignore - that this isn't a downer on the choices of individual women.

It's a comment on a society which makes women feel self-conscious about breastfeeding to the point that they feel the need to buy a special garment in order to hide what they're doing.

But you know - don't OP's about breastfeeding always result in a whole load of people coming on and deliberately misinterpreting other people's opinions in order to have a pop at breastfeeding promotion? It's like a national sport in the UK. Or rather a sort of collective fuck-wittedness.

[Shootingstar79]

I always used a cover when feeding. DD was less distracted and I felt more comfortable. At no point did I worry about what other people were thinking, it just suited me.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

What if we invented a musical cover, to cover up those dreadful snorting noises some breast feeding babies make?

[Eyesunderarock]

Dreadful?
You dissin' my babes?
Those were luvvly little snuffles to a mummy's ears. They only sounded like starved piglets to someone without a heart.

[PoppyAmex]

"we are obsessed with breasts as sexual objects and unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the sight of breastfeeding. Hence the need to hide it"

Erm... I hide my c-section overhang and my less than toned tummy and I'm pretty sure they aren't "sexual objects"

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

It's not my job to promote bf, I'll leave that to the hcps. I'm just minding my own and feeding my baby

[ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo]

i miss the snorting noises

[Eyesunderarock]

Used to call DD Dynorod.

[Minifingers]

"They are not hiding the fact that they are breastfeeding, perhaps. They are hiding their breasts."

They are hiding the sight of them feeding their baby.

Why is this the norm in the UK and not in other countries where women are generally far more modest in their day to day dress than in the UK?

Why do UK mothers want people not to witness their baby feeding?

Would you think it was normal and reasonable for women to feel the need to bottle feed their baby under a sheet in public?