to feel saddened about " breast feeding covers

[Theas18]

lady on the next table in the cafe I'm in ifs beat feeding a lovely month or so old baby under a huge bib.

maybe she feels " happier about it" and all that but really. What do you see for a happily breastfeeding b baby-the back of a sweet little head? no big deal and very normal.

Why are we ( society) doing this to mums and babies. surely a 6 month old won't tolerate it anyway, so I guess they give up then :(

[mrsjay]

I love how people are saying society this society that but women should be able to cover as much as THEIR OWN body as they want because it is theirs ,

[PeriodMath]

I don't think the OP was saying its wrong to wear these cover-ups. Of course it's your body to do with as you wish. She just said it was a shame people feel they want/have to.

What's wrong with saying that? I happen to agree.

[maternitart]

YAB so U.

I don't feel comfortable getting certain parts of my body out - like my stomach. Nothing to do with it being sexual or not. I make sure it's covered when I'm feeding.

There are loads of other reasons to use a cover. Stop milk hitting other people when baby pulls off or you need to relatch, help stop a baby getting distracted, help keep a baby snug etc.

I don't use one personally but I respect other people's right and desire to.

[Minifingers]

Yes mrsjay - and the reason they want to cover their breasts and stomachs is because society has made them feel that lactating breasts and stomachs marked by childbearing are disgusting.

If you had lived in other countries where breast feeding is the normal way to feed babies of all ages (as opposed to just newborns like in the UK) you would recognise that our feelings about breast feeding are weird and dysfunctional here.

Honestly - the responses on this thread really bring to mind the saying 'fish can't see the water'....

[KeefRegina]

I am still BF at 8 months I use a scarf, i do not want to flash my breasts at all and sundry, I do not want men learing at them either.

its no bother to me, and the baby sometimes reveals me, but its no big deal.



If anything I feel so sorry for her - with you next to her, still being critical, still being un happy and judgemental.

I hope she didn't see you glancing over and feel even more embarrassed or awkward.

She is BF - she has a cover, F off and leave her alone.

[ThirdTimesABrokenFanjo]

don't be daft mrsjay. Page 3 is full of boobs they arent illegal and men do walk around with theirs out when its hot. and infact many are pushing a D cup. far larger than mine. the only difference is that mine have a purpose! and unless you see bf as sexual that extra purpose is not sexual.

[KeefRegina]

I have to say i think this is rather disgusting thread really.,

Its supposed to be a low rate of BF in this country and now the fucking statsi want all BF mothers to flop out their breasts full exposure while feeding.

There are Mini lots of different ways of doing things all over the world, in this country the UK, its rather cold and wet most of the time, we are not used to stripping down like perhaps some tribe in the amazon.


FFS.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

mini I've yet to see Europeans breast feeding in a vastly different way to how we do in the UK. Perhaps more of them are doing it,but in much the same way.

[jeansthatfit]

minifingers, your perspective is a bit narrow.

A cover can keep a fussy or easily distracted baby focused on feeding. Obviously going off to a quiet specifically designated breastfeeding room, should you be able to find one, or even just staying at home, would also help...

But then breastfeeding mothers should be able to go out and feed in public, shouldn't they?

And as I agree that societal attitudes are not in general kind to saggy bellies and stretchmarks and 'non bikini top' breasts - can you not see that expecting/asking a new mum, with all of the tiredness and emotion that can bring, and with perhaps the clumsiness and uncertainty that first time breastfeeders can feel, to find the strength to defy these attitudes and be relaxed about exposing their breasts in public to do something they've never done before....

Is maybe a bit much?

[TallulahBetty]

Maybe the MOTHER feels uncomfortable, rather than being worried that others might?!

I didn't realise that these days it's not good enough to just breastfeed. You must do it in a certain way too

[jeansthatfit]

Actually, whoever mentioned the weather has a point. I've bf-ed in a cold November sitting on a parkbench, when ds was ravenous and was howling like a starving wolf baby. Tucking a flimsy muslin through a bra strap in a strong wind does feck all, just turned me into human bunting. A nice over the head cover might have been just the ticket then.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Oh, there are so many things in the world to be "saddened" about that are so so much more important than this.

FWIW I bf DS until he was about 9 mo, often by sticking him up my top with his head (and most of the rest of him) covered. I'm not prudish, but neither am I particularly comfortable with being naked in public, even in all female changing rooms. Having a baby didn't make me suddenly want to wave my nipples around in front of strangers. And DS was very little and took a long time to learn to latch reliably, and was easily distracted. By the time we both got the hang of it we had established our feeding routine involving quite a bit of coverage all round.

[DoJo]

YABU - it's not sad that she chose to cover her breast whilst feeding her baby, in the same way that it wasn't sad when she had her top covering up her breast before and after feeding.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

Well for all those who feel sad that bf women may not be comfortable showing some breastage in public, maybe you could spend a few weeks out and about with nipples on display! It should be down to all women to challenge people's opinions of breasts as sexual objects, not just bf women.

[DolomitesDonkey]

Sad?

For the love of god - feel sad about the little boy who was starved to death, feel sad for 2 girls murdered in "honour" for dancing in the rain.

But feeling "sad" because someone doesn't feel comfortable getting their baps out in public and having some judgemental cow (that's you btw) staring at her breasts? Get yourself a large one!

[Minifingers]

Keef - 'Stasi', 'flop their breasts out'. This language reveals what your real attitude to breast feeding and its promotion are. :-(

As for your comment about the weather - women in the UK feed indoors most of the time. No need to drape cloths over themselves
to stay warm while breastfeeding.


There is no moral imperative for UK mothers to be preoccupied with hiding their flesh while breast feeding, yet it's obvious that this is something that most women seem to do. It's a cultural thing - we are obsessed with breasts as sexual objects and unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the sight of breastfeeding. Hence the need to hide it. Even from the eyes of other mothers.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

I agree minifingers.

Op wasn't judging the woman, she felt sad that some women feel they should hide breastfeeding. She felt sad that she lives somewhere where breast feeding is not celebrated. I don't get why that's so offensive.

[maternitart]

Minifingers your post makes little sense.

Non BFing women, men and children don't usually walk around topless in cafes etc. So according to your logic all of these people are preoccupied with hiding their flesh, are they?

And I say this as someone who doesn't try to cover up my breasts when feeding.

[Minifingers]

I love the way everyone is determined to ignore the real point that the OP is making - which is about how our culture makes us feel about breastfeeding.

Why no acknowledgement that women's self consciousness and feelings of shame regarding visible breastfeeding impacts on breastfeeding rates and mothers' feelings of ease while doing it? When I see someone feeding under one of this monstrosities I have two thoughts: 'glad she's breastfeeding' and 'what a shame she feels embarrassed enough to have to hide it'.

[KeefRegina]

I see,

so when I do not want to go topless on holiday or wear a thong, thats because of shame is it .

Lead the way ladies, walk round topless.

my atttiude to BF is that I am bloody doing it - the essential most important part that I am putting my milk into my baby.

I would want to punch someone in the face if they had the audacity to sit there, covered up themselves and try and say I should be exposing myself!

Actions speak louder than words.

[maternitart]

Minifingers, I agree that of course some women may feel embarrassed about breast feeding and that is a shame. But to assume you know exactly why this woman chose to use a cover in this instance is a bit arrogant.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

But I'm not sure what your point is?

I'm fairly sure the cultures in which breast feeding is 100% the norm (not many in the West) have other norms you would like rather less.

The OP is missing the point that these women are breast feeding in a way that makes them comfortable. It's great if you feel differently and go about it differently but - horses for courses isn't it. As long as the baby gets fed for it really matter how? No.

[littlepeas]

YABU! I used to cover up with a pashmina when feeding dc1 - it gave me the confidence to get on with it and stopped me flashing everyone when I was still getting to grips with bf - it is a huge learnign curve with your first baby. I didn't cover up with dcs 2 and and 3, but I was much more confident and experienced then. Anything that helps women feel more confident bf is a very good thing as far as I'm concerned.

[whatacrappyweekendthatwas]

The op is not slating the lady for wearing the cover, more society for making the lady feel as if she has to cover up.

[PeriodMath]

I agree with your last post minifingers.

Most women (in the real world - not on MN!) don't breastfeed precisely because most women don't breastfeed.

Women use these strange shawls for several reasons. But the main one is embarrassment. If girls were raised to see breasts as being functional (as well as sexual and alluring...?) more of them would bf later in life.