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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Football match or family holiday??

254 replies

helsbels03 · 05/05/2013 08:28

AIBU - dh's football team just got into the play offs to move into the premiership. If they get through the semi 's then the final will be the day after we go on holiday to Tunisia. He has just asked I would mind if he flew out 2 days later as he wants to see his team at wembly. I am vv annoyed and upset he would rather watch football than go on holiday with us, we are only going for a week so he would be leaving me 3 young dc and my elderly mum for almost half of the holiday. Please give me some perspective on this- am I over reacting?

OP posts:
TravelinColour · 05/05/2013 08:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callisto · 05/05/2013 08:31

He is clearly an idiot and YANBU at all.

LIZS · 05/05/2013 08:32

yanbu. If he were a player then it might be more of a dilemma.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/05/2013 08:33

I can see both sides on this, I'd be gutted to miss a match like this, but the holiday should come first.

HollyBerryBush · 05/05/2013 08:33

As I live in a sports dominated household, I see both sides of this.

Compromise, google, find a bar locally that has sky and he can watch the match there.

DH woudlnt ask to gip on a family holiday - but I'd probably understand if he did.

I can see why he wants to be with his mates, especially if he supported one of those little teams where this a once in a life timething, rather than an every other season thing (uppy, downy).

But fact of the matter, family is real life, football is a hobby. He should know the difference by now.

Numberlock · 05/05/2013 08:34

Tell him not to bother coming at all. How much extra is it going to cost anyway? (I presume you're just going for one week?)

Yet another reason I'm glad I'm single and don't come second to football.

Is this type of behaviour usual or a one-off?

scarlettsmummy2 · 05/05/2013 08:34

I thought you meant he was a player!

WiseKneeHair · 05/05/2013 08:34

My DH's club also, somewhat unexpectedly, got into the play offs (Leicester?). If its the same team, I wouldn't worry too much as they are unlikely to win the first round. If they do, tell him he's a dick and its just not going to happen.

Bowlersarm · 05/05/2013 08:35

YANBU

We are a big football family but I would be livid if DH put a football match over family holiday, unless it was maybe, maybe a cup final. There are always so many up and coming football matches to watch, even though this is an important one (is it CP), and family holidays are a rarity.

HollyBerryBush · 05/05/2013 08:36

But its Wemb-er-ly innit?

much eye rolling

CSIJanner · 05/05/2013 08:37

Give us the name f the team, and the power of mumsnet will probably find names of bars, time and probably the cost of their fish and chips for the homesick

Original poster
helsbels03 · 05/05/2013 08:39

Hi - yes wisekneehair it is Leicester so doesn't happen that often. I am now thinking I might ask me sister to come instead and we will have a great time. It will not be forgotten tho !

OP posts:
waikikamookau · 05/05/2013 08:44

whats wrong with watching it on the telly?
does he often go to matches?

RussiansOnTheSpree · 05/05/2013 08:46

How often do Leicester get to Wembley? (That was a rhetorical question. I know the answer -since MO'N left, not very often). Is your DH a season ticket holder? Does he go to away games? If the answer is yes, then I think you should let him go to Wembley. If the answer is no, then he should just watch it on the Internet (I'm far from convinced you'd get the play-offs on Telly in Tunisia). I think it all comes down to his usual level of commitment. Obviously you will be looking for some quid pro quo treat in return (because apart from the faff for you, it won't be cheap for him to go to Wembley).

RussiansOnTheSpree · 05/05/2013 08:47

hels If he's a proper fan - season ticket holder, away matches etc - it won't be forgotten if you don't let him go to Wembley. Your choice, but he won't see it your way.

theoriginalandbestrookie · 05/05/2013 08:54

YANBU, it doesn't matter what it is he is being a complete twit. DH has never threatened not to go on holiday, but once there was talk of leaving me at a French airport at arrival to sort out baggage, car hire and drive to location ( hate driving abroad) whilst he sprinted off to watch the footie. Thankfully it was on at a different time, so it didn't happen, but I'm not sure what my reaction would have been.

Good idea about your sister and would be nice for your Mum as well. Check how much it costs to get it changed over to her, much better than having him arrive half way through and then thinking he has a right to be all grumpy if they don't win.

WiseKneeHair · 05/05/2013 08:54

Ah, then I don't think you need to worry. I don't think they have a cat in hells chance of beating Watford.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/05/2013 08:56

Yes. if this was my team I may have floated the idea but still gone ahead with the holiday. It is unlikely to be on TV over there, even if it is no one will be watching, and it is the whole experience, I've been supporting my team with the same bunch of friends for 25 years, they are league strugglers who very unexpectedly got to Wembley (FA Cup) a few years ago, it was amazing. I wouldn't sacrifice a family holiday for it but would privately be pretty fed up about it.

MortifiedAdams · 05/05/2013 08:57

Ohhhhh......I thought he was in the team in which case id say YABa little U. However if he is just spectating - He is BVVVU. Tell him he comes the whole.week or.not at all.

Ive been to Tunisia and im sure they only fly twice a week so do the flights even allow him to do what he is suggesting?

ssd · 05/05/2013 08:58

OFGS let him go, I know its daft and he shouldnt even ask, but its not the end of the world for you, is it?

so he flies out to join you 2 days later, I mean is that the end of the world for you, coping on your own for 2 days?

bet if it was you wanting to do it he'd be fine with it

theoriginalandbestrookie · 05/05/2013 09:00

I think that's a bit harsh ssd.

For us family holidays are very precious, we both work and at home there are multiple distractions so holidays are the one time that we all recharge our batteries together.

I would feel very disappointed if DH decided to prioritise the performance of a football team over that time, but the OP is more gracious than me and has already thought of a good alternative plan.

sooperdooper · 05/05/2013 09:01

There'll be some way of watching it over there, he's being ridiculous

Goldmandra · 05/05/2013 09:02

He needs to get a grip. It isn't his team. It's a bunch of people he doesn't even know playing a game that he could watch on TV.

He has a family who know he exists and would like to share a holiday with him. In what universe is a bunch of strangers running around a field more important?

waikikamookau · 05/05/2013 09:03

I agree with SSD.
you never know op you might enjoy those first 2 days more, Grin

Rosa · 05/05/2013 09:03

Book your sister anyway , cancel his booking . Before the football matches - so he has made his choice. Then if they loose he has to stay at home. Might help him be a bit more reasonable and possibly put his family first.

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