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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why men are so lazy?!!

142 replies

Katrina33 · 14/04/2013 15:58

That's it really. I'm 40 + 4 pregnant and desperately trying to keep the house clean and tidy as well as do last minute things for baby...really restricted by huge bump and feeling exhausted....and dp is doing next to nothing....except make mess everywhere and researching growing potatoes...did you know you can grow them in sawdust?! Confused. Also playing music whilst I'm trying to lie down.....

I know I'm probably oversensitive with hormones etc....but......Sad

OP posts:
ecclesvet · 14/04/2013 16:01

Just because your man is shit doesn't mean they all are.

HolidayArmadillo · 14/04/2013 16:02

YABU. My DH isn't lazy, you just have an insensitive git.

Original poster
Katrina33 · 14/04/2013 16:03

Wow your support is overwhelming! Thanks guys Grin

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 14/04/2013 16:03

yours is lazy. Mine, for example, does far more than I do.

don't excuse your partner not pulling his weight by putting it down to 'men'.

Your partner chooses to do sod all and leave it up to you. It's not men. It's him.

You are not oversensitive. He is being idle and inconsiderate. That's got bog all to do with what's between his legs! It's him as a person.

Question is, what is going to motivate him to change?

Have you told him that you find his attitude unacceptable? What has he said?

JammySplodger · 14/04/2013 16:04

Really?

Men aren't all lazy. Why don't you just ask him to help tidy up?

usualsuspect · 14/04/2013 16:05

I'm far lazier than my DP Grin

Ask him to help you then.

snotfunny · 14/04/2013 16:06

Actually I think people are being supportive - just not if your statement that all men are lazy. My DP is almost obsessively tidy and often tidies up around me. He keeps the kitchen spotless. I think you need to tell him to shape up. This is not boding well for when the baby arrives and there's more to do and you're both knackered.

Roseformeplease · 14/04/2013 16:07

Mine is upstairs at the moment, hoovering, while I piddle around on the Internet. He has just fixed a bike, made me a coffee and is generally wonderful. All men are not lazy so YABU. However, if you are feeling knackered a d shit you have my sympathy. The final days of pregnancy are very tough.

Original poster
Katrina33 · 14/04/2013 16:09

Thanks Rose. Like I said, I know I'm very hormonal and oversensitive, and yes I do feel knackered and shit and can't stop crying to be honest. Thanks for understanding Thanks

OP posts:
Gimmeecoffee · 14/04/2013 16:10

Not all men are lazy, give him a kick up the arse and tell him! Im far lazier than dp, my favourite excuse is 'i'll do it tomorrow' Grin.

mateinthree · 14/04/2013 16:10

Being hormonal is not an acceptable excuse for bigotry.

Arisbottle · 14/04/2013 16:11

I am much lazier than my DH. I am like that because he allows it to happen.

pumpkinsweetie · 14/04/2013 16:12

Partners are only lazy if you allow it or don't ask for help, some just need a nudge Grin. Yabu to use the word 'men' though as sometimes its the other way round!
My dh is average, can be lazy at times but once given something to do he'll do it. And he lets me lay in every Saturday and Sunday whilst he washes up, makes breakfast and takes care of dc. I let him lay in the odd weekend and i do most of the chores generally but he is expected to cook and wash up a few times a week.
The one thing he rarely does is the washing, but tbf the lay ins make up for that Smile

PuppyMonkey · 14/04/2013 16:12

My DP is the opposite of lazy, he won't sit still for a minute. If you have a DP who's useless, that doesn't mean everyone has.

BOF · 14/04/2013 16:13

Oh back off, mateinthree Hmm

Yes, it's not all men (I'm MNing from the sofa while DP is doing some DIY), but that's not really your main point, is it?

You feel shattered and unsupported.

Can you talk to him?

YoothaJoist · 14/04/2013 16:14

Sorry OP. Another one here with a really hardworking DP. He's out in the garden in the pissing rain putting up a greenhouse. When he's finished he'll cook tea.

Why don't you show your lazy-arsed DP this thread?

HearMyRoar · 14/04/2013 16:14

During my last bit of pregnancy dp pretty much did everything including helping me dress bless him. He used to come home at lunch time and bring me food as by the end my blood pressure was zooming up at a remarkable speed and I had SPD, and was pretty crap at doing anything at all.

So what I am saying is not all men are as inconsiderate as yours so perhaps you should have words with him about his behaviour I stead of running about trying to do everything.

BOF · 14/04/2013 16:16

Oh, and perhaps repost this in Chat or Pregnancy, if you want a kindly ear and a boost? This section is famously full of rabid wankspanners.

Original poster
Katrina33 · 14/04/2013 16:17

Thanks BOF, I'm just completely past myself to be honest and could just do with a little support. Obviously didn't mean to cause offence to so many. Thought people might be a little more understanding assuming that most have endured the last few days of pregnancy and know how tough it is! I'll delete the post.....if I can work out how!

OP posts:
YoothaJoist · 14/04/2013 16:19

Seriously OP. It's not that we don't understand and sympathise. It's that your crap partner needs to shape up. There's no point in us giving you hugs and flowers if the man in your life is being so fucking useless, is it, hmm?

BackforGood · 14/04/2013 16:19

Agree with everyone else. Because your dp is doing something other than what you want him to do, it's a pretty big leap from there to a statement that "all men are lazy" Shock

My dh is cooking the meal tonight... shall I post "Why do women never cook?" Hmm

BOF · 14/04/2013 16:19

Just click report next to your name and ask to withdraw it. In the meantime, click Hide so you don't keep upsetting yourself. Then come and find a fun thread or start afresh asking for support in Chat/Relationships/Pregnancy.

Sorry you're having such a hard time Brew

cupcake78 · 14/04/2013 16:21

My dh definitely isn't lazy he just has a very different view of what is essential.

I'm 29 wks with spd and bad morning sickness. While I was sanding and painting skirting boards in the nursery he was 'airating the lawn'Smile. Who knew a lawn needed airating???

I was constructing wardrobes, draws and cot and he decided to go the library and came back to wash the cars Smile.

The last few weeks are very difficult especially when your hormones and instinct take over. Have a Brew

pumpkinsweetie · 14/04/2013 16:23

But you do have my sympathy op Brew
I think what we are putting across is not all men are that unthoughtful and your dp needs to get of his particular arse especially as you are pregnant too.
Have a word with him, tell him you need your rest being this far gone too it would be nice for you to have a break and put your feet up x

MissAnnersley · 14/04/2013 16:23

Really sorry you're feeling so frazzled Katrina, but totally understandable when you are so heavily pregnant.

Just hide the thread.

Hope all goes well.