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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why men are so lazy?!!

142 replies

Katrina33 · 14/04/2013 15:58

That's it really. I'm 40 + 4 pregnant and desperately trying to keep the house clean and tidy as well as do last minute things for baby...really restricted by huge bump and feeling exhausted....and dp is doing next to nothing....except make mess everywhere and researching growing potatoes...did you know you can grow them in sawdust?! Confused. Also playing music whilst I'm trying to lie down.....

I know I'm probably oversensitive with hormones etc....but......Sad

OP posts:
everlong · 15/04/2013 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heinz55 · 15/04/2013 18:08

Katrina - MY man is soooo lazy and self centred! If he does anything around the house he gooes on and on and on about it. I have battled for 20 years to get him to pull his weight and while he is better than he was he'll never be one of those gems described in the first page of replies! I sympathise with you - we've survived two kids and I can tell you that our house has become progressively more untidy and less clean as the years go by (and the workload increases). By contrast my son is really good at helping around the house (better than his -older-sister) and I hope to encourage that and have him to grow up to be just like one of those dh's described in previous posts!! Fingers crossed I will succeed and if your baby is boy then may you do the same. In the meantime, do know that you are not alone in your frustration!!

Original poster
Katrina33 · 15/04/2013 18:12

Thanks Heinz Smile, glad to hear your lad is growing up pulling his weight!

And ever....my post wasn't just for you...there was far more than you giving me a hard time yesterday....but I'm learning that a lot of people on here think everything is intended as a personal insult!

OP posts:
Khaleese · 15/04/2013 18:20

Mine is lazy, he's also a sexist pig good job he earns a lot his mother inform me he was perfect at home and can cook. That man can't boil an egg, i kid you not!

My son is being taught to help.

It's tiring at the end, put your feet up love.

everlong · 15/04/2013 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pumpkinsweetie · 15/04/2013 20:39

Glad you had a better day today op Smile

fizzykola · 15/04/2013 21:12

Ah glad you feel better OP. Hope you've got your feet up while DH does the root vegetable research dusting. All the very best to you for the birth and beyond Flowers

MissAnnersley · 15/04/2013 21:35

Good to hear you've had a better day.

Hope all goes well for you. x

seriouscakeeater · 15/04/2013 22:55

hey op, there is a great thread just getting started in childbirth at the moment , glad you had a better day today...I've ate copious amounts of cherry bakewells and choc cookies all ways works for me! Wink

seriouscakeeater · 15/04/2013 22:56

khaleese are you a game of thrones fan?? Smile

andubelievedthat · 15/04/2013 23:06

my fella can and does clean (really well!)cook, sew including zips, in fact i often ,when we hooked up ,would joke he would make a great wife ! and he is so much your typical bloke, i.e. football,beer, vehicles >>i asked how he got to learn these "girl" skills, he told me his mum showed him cos she did not want him to have to marry to be "looked after" by a woman,a smart mum ,i love his mother ! thou it is sometimes a pisser to be told i could have done that zip better !.

OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni · 15/04/2013 23:12

My dp does 97% of our total housework - i buy shopping, cook, change the kids beds.. that's it.

Some men are lazy selfish bastards. Some men like a clean tidy house and don't expect a woman to do it.

I'm 23 weeks with dc3 and a lazy sod just now always and dp rarely moans.

BegoniaBampot · 16/04/2013 00:37

Well glad that the tide has finally turned according to mumsnet. Everything I read on statistics to how much housework and childcare men do compared to women says it is still very much the that the majority is done by women

WildlingPrincess · 16/04/2013 00:38

Cos they're cunts?

Whitewineformeplease · 16/04/2013 01:25

Couldn't believe some of the responses when I read this yesterday. It was the Italics in particular that did it for me. " Well, OP, maybe your DH is blah blah, but mine is blah blah blah..." Smugness dripping off every little slanted letter. And it's a bit fiddley to do, as well, I never have before, you have to put in little arrows and everything! And the poster who didn't bother to read the OP, just the title, but felt perfectly entitled to respond vehemently anyway. (Can't be bothered to check who, going to afford as much courtesy to them as they did to the OP)

Maybe, with all the spare time some of you have while your perfect DH's run around doing all the housework, you could brush up on things like compassion, understanding and basic reading/comprehension skills.

Khaleese · 16/04/2013 06:26

Serious, yes :-)she's strong and powerful and stunning. Just like me :-0

MummyPig24 · 16/04/2013 07:02

You need to tell him straight. "I'm tired, help me please. Can you sort the washing and get dinner started while I have a bath." You will feel much better rather than being a martyr about it.

WhoWhatWhereWhen · 16/04/2013 07:26

I don't think It's an issue of laziness, its because most men don't give shit about being tidy

scottishmummy · 16/04/2013 07:36

Well Katrina,your man is lazy unhelpful and not attentive to his pg partner
Fortunately,I have no such experience of lazy inattentive dp.you don't need to accept it
So what he going to to about it?if he's a lazy single guy will he lazy dad

Molehillmountain · 16/04/2013 07:43

Aibu is brilliant for finding out what people think but not the place if you're overwrought and overdue. Hope your baby comes soon and that your dp gets it that he'll need to help you.

Fwiw, I would like aibu to remain the place for honesty and bluntness and to remember not to post if I'm not up for its particular charms. I actually often think about posting, word an op and then think "I'll get ripped to shreds". It helps me work stuff out and pre select if aibu. With a nickname like mine that's very useful Wink

everlong · 16/04/2013 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LimitedEditionLady · 16/04/2013 07:50

Oh my OH is just the same. I have asked him to do things, threatened to go on strike, told him to move out and see how he likes doing it all himself.9 years on.still doesnt. Even says himself that i wouldnt nag him if he just used his initiative himself.so i dont really know what i can do? If i really really go on.and on asking for days he will help with one offs. On other hand he will pick me up from all over place and sometimes makes tea.i dunno eh.

50shadesofmeh · 16/04/2013 07:51

He he this was me 3 weeks ago I overhauled the whole house and went completely manically tidy whilst being disgusted by him sitting on his fishing forums , I couldn't understand how he was so laid back, now I've had baby I couldn't care less lol.

scottishmummy · 16/04/2013 07:54

If you know your man a lazy git why tolerate it,with a och that's men,tsk!
No that's not men. That's the man some of you live with
If you dismiss or minimize with och men,see that's men well you're settling for it

seriouscakeeater · 16/04/2013 08:29

and full of gloaty unsupportive witches like on a thread like this

50 I am in that place now lol
whowhat yep I think you're right and not being fussed if tidy ore not .

Love the lazy dh = lazy dads.... [Confused] Lmao