To wonder why men are so lazy?!!

[Katrina33]

That's it really. I'm 40 + 4 pregnant and desperately trying to keep the house clean and tidy as well as do last minute things for baby...really restricted by huge bump and feeling exhausted....and dp is doing next to nothing....except make mess everywhere and researching growing potatoes...did you know you can grow them in sawdust?! . Also playing music whilst I'm trying to lie down.....

I know I'm probably oversensitive with hormones etc....but......

You consider it gloaty to not have a lazy it dp.I'd call it common sense
Why skivvy about like a blue arsed fly but then roll eyes and go,ach men
If woman maintains her lazy man by skivvying about she need to think hard

i'm curious. so all the folk on this thread with wonderfully pulling their own weight, non lazy partners - does your partner do at least 50 % or more of all the household stuff and childcare? this thread seems unrepresentative as all reports say that it all still mostly falls to women even where both partners are working comparative hours.

Im even more curious why some tolerate this in fatalistic ach that's men way
Why do they revert to stereotypical wimmins work behaviours,why they accept such behaviour
Does my dp share,contribute?damn right cause he's responsible capable adult

BegoniaBampot

many on MN seems to like to gloat that their partners are wonderful men, wonderful lovers, that never riase their voice and are FULL partners in housecare and childcare

and that if their partners even erred slightly, they would "show them the door"

crock o shite I say!

The world is full of lazy men and women.
You only have to look at any mn thread concerning any sort of housework and loads are happy to admit they live in a shit tip because they hate/cant be arsed to do housework and come out with twee sayings about a messy home being a happy home to excuse the fact.

I want one of those!

And there the mn does all wimmin work, cannot compel her dp to do sweet fa
But suspiciois that any other woman doesn't settle for lazy man
Like they do

I always thought being equal partners is just normal, not gloaty.

It isn't a matter of women putting up with lazy husbands....some men just DO NOT care about housework and I hate the implication that is the women's fault somehow if her husband doesn't do much. My husband is brilliant at his work/job but if I ask him to do a chore round the house, he'll forget or think it is ok to be done later...no matter how much I might go on and on. It is just how he is.

It is really nuts how, just because some women here have husbands who pitch in easily, that they expect all men to be like that and if they aren't, it's HER fault. And some of us do the bulk of the housework for our CHILDREN to have a nice home, not to be a martyr!

I am glad the OP is feeling better...but it's no thanks to the heartless comments she received here!

I doubt most husbands do pitch in easily and do the same amount of housework/childcare as the wife if we are talking about two people working similar hours. how many husbands just decide to clean the loo or mop the floors just off their own back.

My DO is a SAHD, he does do the house work, cooking and laundry

However does he have my anal obsession? No, does he fuck

Christ just dont go to South Italy, its LTB city there

and also this is a NEW generation, I bet our DH/DP dads did sweet FA

katrina have you had a hard word with your lazy bloke ?

This is one of the craziest threads I've read in a while, surely agreeing with the op would be doing her more of a disservice and be encouraging her to settle for the fact that her DH is not being lazy because he thinks he can but because he's a man, wheras the fact is her DH and her DH alone is responsible for him being a lazy Git, not the fact he is in possession of a penis.

Sometimes I think I've got AIBU figured out then every so often a thread like this comes along and I realise I haven't got a clue.

There is no harm in pointing out that it is not all men - although it was kind of obvious the OP was just asking a question out of frustration and anyway she didn't even say 'all' - but it was HOW people responded that was harsh. They just talked about their own husbands not being lazy, implied it was the OP's fault she was in this situation, and were quite aggressive. How they thought aggression and being offended on their husbands' behalf was going to help the OP is anyone's guess.

I dunno...maybe I'm soft but I think when a heavily pregnant woman, who is working hard and feeling very frustrated and probably stressed and anxious about a birth, reaches out for help, you don't rattle on about your own husband to rub it in!! No one is perfect after all...not even all these apparently wonderful husbands we have been hearing about. The OP should have been cut some slack.

some of you need to examine your experiences/expectations that are ingrained
that you disbelief a man can be helpful,not lazy and spontaneously clean
this speaks volumes about you and the men you know,that you assume lazy is norm

don't disbelieve it. I just don't think this thread is representative of who still does the larger share of housework and childcare. even many of the posters here saying there men aren't lazy haven't said whether the work is split equally.

OP, have you had a discussion with your H? You need to get him doing his share of domestic work now or you will be even more miserable when the baby arrives. He needs to understand that he is not entitled to make messes and fart about doing what he likes because he considers housework 'women's work'. Right now, when you are 40+4, he should be doing all the domestic work, because the end stage of pregnancy and the first few weeks with a newborn are times when men need to put the woman's needs and wishes ahead of their own.