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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Advice please

210 replies

ActiveC · 09/03/2013 10:30

my suitor left his partner of 14 years recently. He claims they were not legally married.

I told him i think it too soon for him to be entering into a courtship. He believes otherwise.

I have told that if he is as serious about me as he claims he his, i expect to be introduced to his ExP and children.

AIBU?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 09/03/2013 10:31

yabu

Witchofthenorth · 09/03/2013 10:32

Hmm Confused

HollyBerryBush · 09/03/2013 10:32

YABU to expect to be intrduced to his ExP, ever

YABU to expect him to introduce you to his children until he knows you are serious about the relationship.

Witchofthenorth · 09/03/2013 10:33

hes just left her and you want to be introduced?? yabu and slightly crazy...

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 09/03/2013 10:33

Why would you want to meet his ex? Or even his children this early on? What are you going to say to her?

Emilythornesbff · 09/03/2013 10:35

sad

catgirl1976 · 09/03/2013 10:35

YABU

He does not need to introduce you to his ExP and I wouldn't expect to meet children until the relationship was solid, established and serious

And "suitor" and "courtship"?

Hmm Confused

Montybojangles · 09/03/2013 10:36

Ha ha ha, I'm sure that would be delightful.
Hello exP, mother of my children, this is ActiveC, I'm shagging her now, thought we should all get together for a nice cup of tea.
Grip shop, now.

Flojobunny · 09/03/2013 10:36

Suitor? Seriously.

Witchofthenorth · 09/03/2013 10:37

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Flojobunny · 09/03/2013 10:38

YABU, do you usually demand to meet all your "suitors" (that's going to tickle me all day!) exs?
This can't be for real.

YellowStickers · 09/03/2013 10:39

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YellowStickers · 09/03/2013 10:39

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ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 09/03/2013 10:44

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ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 09/03/2013 10:44

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SkinnybitchWannabe · 09/03/2013 10:47

Yabu. If I was the ex I'd rip your head off if I was 'introduced' to the woman who ruined my relationship and THERE'S NO WAY you would meet my children.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 09/03/2013 10:48

You can't be serious surely?

FellNel · 09/03/2013 10:48

YABU on all sorts of levels.

  1. It is way to soon to be introducing you to his kids.

  2. You have no right/need to ever meet his ex wife.

  3. you seem to arrived in the 21st century in a Tardis, transported from medieval India.

IneedAgoldenNickname · 09/03/2013 10:49

Please tell me this isn't real?

AngelWreakinHavoc · 09/03/2013 10:50

This has made my morning hahaha.

Original poster
ActiveC · 09/03/2013 10:54

Actually, this is a serious thread.

Not every man I meet has suitor potential. This one is the type I may one day exchange vowels with.

As they were not married and in lieu of a nasi decree, how do I know if he isnt after a bit on the side? I have no interest in being any mans mistress.

Ok, ok, I know my choice of words are not part of mordern day lexicon however their meaning is paramount to this situation. The dictionary meaning of the term dating dosent apply in this case. There is no shagging taking place, only church hugs, kiss on the forehead and hand holding.

OP posts:
StuffezLaBouche · 09/03/2013 10:56

Exchange vowels!!!

catgirl1976 · 09/03/2013 10:56

Exchange vowels?

Will you play Countdown with him?

I think the way you know if he is serious is by letting the relationship develop, talking and seeing how things go. Not by demanding to meet his ex and children.

AngelWreakinHavoc · 09/03/2013 10:57

exchange vowels!!!!!!

I'm crying here!

Original poster
ActiveC · 09/03/2013 11:03

I most certainly am not a marriage wrecker!

I am in NO way the cause of his situation.

Ive been to his place, which is a rented room. Although he has his clothes and shoes there, id expected to see his stuff you know, like books, cd's and the like. For all I know his partner could have thrown him out, which is plausible and he could be a phandering oppotuinist.

OP posts: