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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really, REALLY fucking angry.

224 replies

HarrySnotter · 12/02/2013 20:46

DD is 6. Was very quiet when I picked her up from after school club (at 5.30pm), unusually so but I kind of worried that she was coming down with something so after the initial 'are you feeling ok' I kind of left her to it and didn't question her too much.

Ran the bath, gave her a quick cuddle as she was getting undressed and she winced, actually winced, then started crying. I got her undressed and she had blood on her shirt at the back. Her shirt was actually sticking to her back. Then it all came out - one of the girls at school was poking her with a stick and was lifting up her coat and cardigan and scraping it down her back. I asked her if she told anyone and she said that the playground supervisor saw it and told her to stop crying and that she was acting like a baby.

Her back is scratched to absolute fuck and she was sobbing as I was trying to clean it for her. I am beyond mad. The issue with the child is one I shall bring up with her teacher but I am absolutely fucking furious at the playground supervisor.

How do I handle this so that I don't get a 'oh sorry about that' response. I'm so angry that she spend the whole afternoon sore and upset and she didn't want to tell her teacher because 'Mrs X said she was being a baby'.

OP posts:
Figgygal · 12/02/2013 20:47

Take photographs for a start I don't blame u for being furious

BubblegumPie · 12/02/2013 20:48

Go to the head. The woman wasn't doing her job properly, they might fire her with any luck.

chickensarmpit · 12/02/2013 20:48

Talk to the head. If that doesn't work, speak to your local education department. That's what I did and it helped.

Bessie123 · 12/02/2013 20:49

Who runs the school? Is it the lea? I would be ready to rip the playground supervisor's head off.

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/02/2013 20:49

I have Figgy I want to let the school see for themselves the state of her back. I know kids can get into these situations but I'm so angry that the person who was supposed to be supervising and that DD is actually really find of, just brushed her off.

OP posts:
Wewereherefirst · 12/02/2013 20:49

Photograph and tell the teacher that you want this to be an official complaint.

This is awful. Your poor daughter Sad

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/02/2013 20:49

*fond of

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 12/02/2013 20:49

Bloody HELL. I would be raging also. Agree with taking photos to show them. Your poor DS Sad

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/02/2013 20:49

Go into school with her tomorrow with photos and ask for a investigation into the matter.

But no yanbu

HeadfirstForHalos · 12/02/2013 20:50

YANBU. Take a photo while it's still bad, and take the bloodied shirt to show them how serious this is.

The playground supervisor sounds lax, nasty and unapproachable.

Your poor dd x

threesypeesy · 12/02/2013 20:50

thats such a shame poor wee soul, hope shes ok.

tbh skip the teacher go straight to head and give them hell!!! to be physically injured then belittled by staff is outrageous! no wonder your mad. I wouldnt even accept an appology i would want action taken

Noodled · 12/02/2013 20:50

Headteacher first thing, your poor little dd:(

There will probably be a learning mentor she can be linked to and given a pass to so she can feel safe and have someone other than lunch staff to go to if any trouble again.

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/02/2013 20:50

I want to write a letter but I can't do it tonight. I'm so angry and I want it to be well written and concise and not a rambly 'my poor baby' letter. Even though that's exactly how I feel.

OP posts:
KenLeeeeeee · 12/02/2013 20:50

That is terrible! Poor you and your poor dd :(

ElectricSheep · 12/02/2013 20:51

Try to calm down Harry. Your poor DD will be even more worried about telling you if she sees a furious you as a response.
I'd go straight to the head, personally preferably or in writing if you can't get in tomorrow. May be writing down what you want to say tonight will help clarify exactly your points. Try not to jump in straight away though, sometimes DC don't quite report the whole picture.
Hope she feels better in the morning . Paracetamol for the pain?

sebastianthesingingaubergine · 12/02/2013 20:51

Poor love:( I would also be fucking fuming. I would be too angry to articulate anything properly, but sure someone clever will be along pretty soon.

What a bitch.

Kyrptonite · 12/02/2013 20:51

I would be furious too OP. Give the school bloody hell in the morning if they won't give you a satisfactory answer.

Hope your DD is ok xx

ScottyDoc · 12/02/2013 20:52

Your poor little dd bless her, and I am fucking furious on your behalf too. The supervisor needs to be hauled up to the head, and the child who did it is to be named and shamed. Get in to the office first thing tomorrow, and calmly show the head dds injuries and tell them exactly what went on. The head will ask dd and then the supervisor and kid in question can be held to account. I've been on the receiving end of one of the dinner ladies as a child who disliked me for no apparent reason and I remember her sneering at me when I was upset about something. So sorry this has happened :(

ThePinkOcelot · 12/02/2013 20:52

I would be absolutely livid! Your poor DD,bless her! And that bitch in the school yard shouldn't be doing that job with that attitude! Furious on your behalf. Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Greensleeves · 12/02/2013 20:53

Poor little sausage Sad

Definitely tell the HT, but tell her class teacher as well - she may want to tear the MTA a new arsehole as well I would

Not good enough, not by a long way Angry

Original poster
HarrySnotter · 12/02/2013 20:53

Apparently it was because DD gets extra time with the teacher sometimes. She has type 1 diabetes and her teacher helps with doing blood tests and this other little girl doesn't like it (allegedly, I am well aware that 6 year olds sometimes get it wrong). She was only diagnosed just before Christmas and I so worry about this kind of thing setting her apart.

OP posts:
myroomisatip · 12/02/2013 20:53

I would be absolutely livid! I cant understand how a six year old could be so downright bloody horrible!!!

Does your child know the name of the girl who did this to her?

I would be very tempted to keep her off school tomorrow and give her a lovely fun filled day. Bless her.

Pixieonthemoor · 12/02/2013 20:53

Oh I am SO sorry - the poor poor little thing! I am so glad to hear that you have taken photos. I think to avoid getting the 'oh sorry about that' response, it's quite simple - just go in tomorrow am, demand to see the head, demand that the assistant is brought in, show the photos, describe what you have here and read the bloody riot act! Utter disgrace!!

Has there been any trouble with this girl before (either with your dd or anyone else)?

Sending a hug to your sweet girl.

aldiwhore · 12/02/2013 20:53

YANBU it's unacceptable. I KNOW that playtime supervisors are always being told "so and so did this" etc., and I know that the supervisor may not have understood how bad the scratch was, but even taking that into account, it's just not on. Our children need to have faith in that when they tell someone, like we instruct them to, rather than hit back, that they are taken seriously.

I'm raging for you. (If that's an allowable term, I REALLY am!)

ThreeBeeOneGee · 12/02/2013 20:53
  1. Photo.
  2. Doctor's appointment tomorrow perhaps, so it's on the medical record?
  3. Research the school's complaints procedure so you know where to start.
  4. Letters are more effective than phone calls, in my experience.