to be really, REALLY fucking angry.

[HarrySnotter]

DD is 6. Was very quiet when I picked her up from after school club (at 5.30pm), unusually so but I kind of worried that she was coming down with something so after the initial 'are you feeling ok' I kind of left her to it and didn't question her too much.

Ran the bath, gave her a quick cuddle as she was getting undressed and she winced, actually winced, then started crying. I got her undressed and she had blood on her shirt at the back. Her shirt was actually sticking to her back. Then it all came out - one of the girls at school was poking her with a stick and was lifting up her coat and cardigan and scraping it down her back. I asked her if she told anyone and she said that the playground supervisor saw it and told her to stop crying and that she was acting like a baby.

Her back is scratched to absolute fuck and she was sobbing as I was trying to clean it for her. I am beyond mad. The issue with the child is one I shall bring up with her teacher but I am absolutely fucking furious at the playground supervisor.

How do I handle this so that I don't get a 'oh sorry about that' response. I'm so angry that she spend the whole afternoon sore and upset and she didn't want to tell her teacher because 'Mrs X said she was being a baby'.

[eminemmerdale]

Had a similar experience too when dd was in early years - she was verbally abused by a group of boys about her hearing problems. She came home very upset (I know it's nothing like physical abuse and I'm so sad for your little girl :( ) and I straight away spoke to her teacher, naming the boys involved and saying I wanted something doing bout it. Her teacher was fabulous - she dealt with it by setting up a session on 'differences' and my dd actually stood up and told the class what the 'matter' with her was, that she couldn't hear like them but it didn't mean they should be nasty etc. She is a very confident child and I know not all children with want to do that, but maybe, when this is sorted out, the class could do a general discussion about why some children may seem to be a bit different and need a bit of extra supprt but how they are still the same. For now, I am so so sorry this happened. She sounds so lovely - sitting there bleeding :( I hope you have a peaceful night.

[Clumsyoaf]

Goodness me, lurking but had to say something! Please don't wash that shirt take it to school... Your poor dd, that has reduced me to tears. Yet this is a civilised society we live in. The child who did this should and NEEDS to be reprimanded. I'm so sorry I'm so angry for you and your little one that I feel like I'm raging and making no sense myself.

[MammaTJ]

You have had better advice from others than I could give you, I just want to add that I too amd horrified at what has happened and how it was dealt with.

Hugs to you and your poor DD.

[fengirl1]

OP, the 'magic words' you need to say are 'if this issue is not resolved to my satisfaction I will be making a formal complaint to the Chair of Governors' if you feel at all unhappy with the school's response. The HT would have to be a complete fool to ignore this. I would also mention dd's diabetes and the death of your FIL (if the school are aware of this) in any conversation or letter just to remind them of what your dd is already dealing with. I hope you get this sorted out soon, and that your dd recovers quickly.

[MyCannyBairn]

Write down everything everyone says, EVERYTHING.

[Corygal]

I'd be livid too - but to get this dealt with as it deserves you need to calm down (this may take some time).

The child who did it is a liabiilty - everyone knows when they're drawing blood even at that age.

Don't forget pix of the bloody shirt.

It should heal fine, tho, by the sounds of it. Arrange something very nice for this weekend.

[DontEvenThinkAboutIt]

Take photos in the morning too. Take a good few photos in different lights.

If you get a meeting withthe HT please don't worry if you get upset. It doesn't matter and you shouldn't feel embarrassed if you do.

Can any of your DD friends back up what happened?

[YourHandInMyHand]

Oh gosh your poor DD

I think any mum would be furious and upset and I agree school shouldn't be surprised if this comes across. Taking to her docs is probably a good idea.

Hope she settles and gets some sleep, sounds like she's had a tough time lately and I'm sure a night with you there will be a comfort to her.

[DontEvenThinkAboutIt]

Completely agree with the writing everything down.

If you have a meeting with the HT there is nothing wrong with noting things down during the conversation. It will give you time to compose your thoughts and may be useful in future.

[PastaB]

Your poor little girl. I'd be livid too.

[fluffypillow]

OP, I am in tears here for you and your DD it has seriously touched me.

What a horrible experience for your little girl to deal with. She obviously has enough things going on in her life at the moment without this.

Please don't let this 'supervisor' get away with it, be strong, be clear with what you expect from the headteacher, and most importantly, follow EVERYTHING up in writing. It will then be kept on record, and won't be swept under the carpet.

The school have a 'duty of care', and there was no care given to your DD at school today.

I hope your little girl is ok. I am just so shocked that this could happen to a six year old, and an adult dismiss her in such a cruel way

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

[AnyoneforTurps]

I'm a GP. I agree with all those saying you have every right to be furious. I also agree that your DD should see a GP if you have any concern about infection (and don't forget that diabetics have an increased risk of infection, though typically 48h or so from the injury, rather than the next day).

There is however no point seeing the GP to get the injury "in the medical record"' as some are suggesting. GPs make records from a medical point of view, not a forensic (legal) one. I always advise patients in this sort of scenario to see the police because I am not trained to record injuries to a legal standard, which is very specific and different from the medical standard. If you are not planning legal action then your own photos are fine. If you are, then you need the police to record your DD's injuries.

[CommanderShepard]

Your poor little girl! I have no advice other than to get everything documented but my sincere sympathies - how the hell did the supervisor not see it happen at any point given the state of your daughter's back? Something is rotten here.

[zipzap]

Your poor dd. And horrendous to think that a playground supervisor would be so dismissive of such injuries and behaviour inflicted on your dd.

I would go to the doctor's tomorrow to get it in her records and check there's no infection in the wounds, before going to school.

I would then speak with the HT as an urgent matter so that she can deal with it immediately and so that she can see your dd's back and blood stained top, and make sure that this girl and the PS are kept away from your dd in the immediate future. I would also let her know that I will be following up the meeting with a formal complaint in writing, but emphasize that you felt you needed to talk to the HT before your dd returned to classes because you couldn't possibly let your dd return without knowing that she would not be injured or bullied again before the HT had a chance to read your letter. Make sure that you say that you are holding the HT personally responsible for the safety of your dd. Think before you go in of what sort of measures would make you feel that your dd is safe - eg if the child was older then you would hope that they were excluded for a few days, as well as kept away, or moved to a different class. Not sure what they can do when they are 6 - but the pass mentioned earlier sounds a good idea and there might be other things. If you go in asking for several things, they might be able to do some but not all so ask for more than you want in order to have room to negotiate and still end up with what you want!

When you do write the letter, make sure it gets sent to the governors and the local education department - I guess their welfare officer but if you call them up they will be able to tell you the right person to send it to. I would also be prepared to say that if they can't guarantee my dd's immediate safety whilst in school currently then you can't leave her there until they can - and be prepared to go home with your dd - telling them that you will take home work with you, and that it had better be put down as authorised absence or you will be raising merry hell about that too.

For a 6 yr old to be repeatedly scraping a stick hard enough down another child's back to draw blood - and going to the trouble of lifting up her clothes in order to do it - doesn't sound like normal 6 yr old behaviour - maybe a nasty kid would poke with a stick but going this far? I wonder if she has been a victim of something herself and this is a red flag that should be used to investigate her? Not saying she doesn't need telling off - but alongside this she needs to be dealt with to find out why she would think of doing this and if she has experienced something similar or seen others do it.

I would also be tempted to report to the police - not that you expect them to do anything as she is so young, but it would then be on record. But even a chat from a policeman might make her realise (and her parents if they are not aware of her behaviour) quite how far over the line she went and that what she did was a very very naughty thing that should never be repeated. And maybe they could send round a community policeman to do a session for everyone on how to treat others, not to hurt them etc because that's a bad thing to do and will get them into trouble.

How well does your dd get on with her class teacher normally? I would also talk to her - not to get her to punish the other child or deal with the PS, but to make sure that your dd gets looked after in class and the bully is kept away from her at all times. And to reassure her that regardless of whatever anyone else says, she isn't a baby, she is very brave because she has all her injections which is much braver than most of teh others in the class, and that she can feel free to come to talk to her at any time, especially if she is in pain. Could you and the teacher also say to your dd that because of her diabetes that even if it is only a little bit of blood or soreness (and even if a teacher or another pupil have said something silly or nasty to her) that it is still important that she tells the teacher about it so she can make sure she is OK - ie something that effectively gives her the OK in her mind to talk to her teacher even if another one has told her that she doesn't need to. If this scenario were then to play out identically for a second time (hoping to goodness it doesn't!) this would then hopefully give your dd the confidence to talk to her teacher about her injuries rather than sitting there thinking that she couldn't talk to her because the PS had told her she was a baby and that there was nothing wrong with her.

If your dd is in pain or if the doc gives her something to treat her back, I would make sure that your dd tries to take at least one dose in school, so they can see that your dd has been so badly hurt in their care that she needs medication.

Sorry, all a bit of a jumble. But really hope that your dd is OK and the school deal with this properly for you.

[poodletip]

Oh your poor baby I don't think you should be afraid of letting the school see how upset you are. You've every right to be upset. I hope you get a good response from them. Good idea to get her checked by the Dr too. It sounds so sore poor love.

[Catmint]

Yes to doctor - I was thinking is she up to date with tetanus?

Failure in safeguarding.

Bullying policy.

So sorry for your DD & you. Mine is 6 and if this happened I would be as angry as you obviously are.

[IDontDoIroning]

Agree with others above. Write a letter outlining the incident
This raises stage 1 of the complaint

Dear ht
Compliant re incident at xx pm on xx date

On xx date at xx time child (name) deliberately hurt my child (name) by repeatedly poking / scratching her with a stick to the extent that this broke the skin and drew blood to such an extent that it was difficult to remove her shirt tonight because of the dried blood had adhered to the skin and injury.
I attach photos of injury and shirt for you information.
In addition I would like you to know I have sought medical advice because as you know she is recently diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic and is therefore more vulnerable to infection due to this.
My child was very upset by this incident as mrs lunch time supervisor witnessed xxx and yy. According to my child xx happened then yy happened zz then happened etc mrs lunchtime supervisor said x.

She did not investigate the reason my child was upset or examine my child for injury. Had she done so it would have been apparent that she had been hurt by the other child.

My child sat through the rest of the school day in pain and discomfort and upset.

I would like to register my complain on the following grounds

Mrs lunchtime failed in her duty of care to look after my child she did not investigate why my child was upset or comfort her. In fact she dismissed her as being a baby.
My child was injured in the schools care this injury has not been logged in an appropriate incident book nor has my child received prompt first aid or medical attention.

In addition i feel my child is being bullied by child x as she has said she thinks my child gets too much attention from the teacher. As you know she is recently diagnosed as diabetic and requires help to manage this potentially life threatening and life long condition.

I would like you to investigate this incident and on going issues with child x in line with your behaviour, anti bullying policy, child protection and safeguarding policies.

I would be grateful to receive copies of the policies listed above together with the complaints policy by the end of the school day.

I am hoping to speak with you to discuss the above as soon as possible.
Yours

Mrs xx

If you meet her follow it up in writing

Eg in our meeting we discussed x you agreed to do y I will do z. Please let me know if I have misunderstood. Otherwise I look forward to hearing from you

At this stage you have recorded your complaint. She has to respond within a certain no of days. If you aren't happy with outcome you move up to stage 2 by writing to chair of govs. They will have to respond within a certain time frame and if you aren't happy you can appeal to a full committee and then to lea.

Hopefully it won't get that far as ht will over herself to sort it out.

[fascicle]

So sorry about what's happened to your dd. I would be incandescent. Lots of good suggestions about handling this. I would only add - during your meeting with the HT, please make sure you're happy with suggested actions and associated timescales, and please set up a review meeting to ensure you are satisfied with actions and changes implemented. It's important that the head is accountable to you in the handling of this matter. All the best for tomorrow.

[CoffeeandDunkingBiscuits]

Your poor DD! :( I am shocked at the supervisor and would be furious too.

[MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot]

What a horrible child

You have lots of advice already and I'm sure all bases have been well covered, make sure you don't get fobbed off. If necessary, think of all of us standing behind you!

Sorry to hear about DD's diagnosis too - I have just been dx with Type 2, it's a lot to get your head around isn't it (for you) and a big deal for a 6 year old to be going through, poor little love does not need this shit as well :(

[Seabird72]

what zigzag said . just horrified for your poor daughter

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

I feel furious for you and for her. Can't add to any advice on this thread, except to say that I agree with the poster who said that this is not normal 6yo behaviour and the school are failing in a very basic way.

Your poor little girl. Stay as calm as you can and go as high as you can with this. Do you have a partner or another adult who can go in with you when you deal with the school? I'd take the shirt with me too, as well as the pictures. I'd want to meet with the supervisor themselves too, though I know that may not be entirely appropriate.

Something very, very nice for half term and some play dates with good friends are in order.

Keep us posted. I feel quite affected by this and would like to know the outcome of it all.

[CoolaSchmoola]

Hope your DD feels better in the morning. I'm appalled at the PS - to dismiss a little dot who is upset and crying is just wrong, but when it's your job to ensure their safety and wellbeing it is inexcusable.

I hope the HT agrees with you and action is taken but if not then I would lodge an official complaint about the PS and the HT with both the Governors and the LEA.

[FlowerTruck]

Hope your little girl gets a good nights sleep. Good luck with the head tomorrow. I am so angry for your poor daughter.

[havingastress]

Your post just moved me to tears :( I'd be livid too. Your poor, brave little daughter. I hope she feels better soon. Awful safeguarding from the school. You have every right to be blazing and to ensure that no other poor little child has to go through this.