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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my sister should get half

161 replies

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 19:39

Sorry, this is a bit morbid! DH and I have been writing our will, and have come across a bit of a difference of opinion on who we would leave our stuff to. If both of us and the DC all were to die, god forbid, then we agree that we want all our stuff to go to our siblings. I have a sister and DH has a brother and a sister.

I assumed that we would say that my DSis would get half and the other half would be split between his two siblings, so 25% each for them. He assumed that we would split it in thirds and each sibling get a third.

It's not a big problem, we've talked it through and decided what we're going to say in the will. And hopefully, of course, this situation will never need to become a reality! But I wondered, what would you all think was fair in this situation?

OP posts:
QuietNinjaTardis · 10/10/2012 19:40

A third each. Why should your sister get more than his siblings? Equal amounts would be fair imo.

Chattymummyhere · 10/10/2012 19:40

I agree with your husband, why should you sister get more? best way is to split into 3 equal "lots". That would be a bit like giving your oldest child 50% and your other two 25% hardly fair..

nkf · 10/10/2012 19:41

I'd say a third makes more sense to me.

CMOTDibbler · 10/10/2012 19:41

A third each.

lurkedtoolong · 10/10/2012 19:42

I would say a third each would be fair

forgottoremember · 10/10/2012 19:43

I agree with you - 50% to each family makes sense to me.

In the same way that if/when stuff comes to be divided in our family, the fact that I have more children than my sister should (IMO) mean that my children get proportionally less.

I'd be intrigued to know what the legal situation is if you died intestate - what does the law see as 'fair' in this situation?

missymoomoomee · 10/10/2012 19:43

I'm with everyone else, a third each sounds fair.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/10/2012 19:44

I think a third each is fairer.

GwendolineScaryLacey · 10/10/2012 19:45

I don't know, I think I disagree with all that. Half to each side. I have one sibling, DH has four. Why should my brother get less?

RobinSparkles · 10/10/2012 19:45

I agree with your DH too.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 10/10/2012 19:45

I think fifty percent to each family?

AViewfromtheFridge · 10/10/2012 19:46

I agree - if you split your "estate", then half goes to your side and half to your DH's. It's nothing like giving your own children different amounts. Why should his family get twice as much as yours?

AdoraBell · 10/10/2012 19:47

I would do 1/3 each.

JoshLyman · 10/10/2012 19:47

Mmm, I agree with you. You own half the marriage assets so you get to decide who gets your half. He allocates his half to who he wants.

Why should you give some of your share to his siblings over your own?

Noqontrol · 10/10/2012 19:47

Well I think the property should be split in half and each person decides where their half is to go. So your half to your sister and his half divided between his sisters.

reddaisy · 10/10/2012 19:47

Half to each side of the family imo.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/10/2012 19:48

But your brother wouldn't get less, gwen? Confused

Someone in my family did it the other way and I've got to admit, I really resented it, so maybe I'm biased. The siblings didn't get a choice in how large their family is.

TeaDr1nker · 10/10/2012 19:48

I can see both points of view, a third each is fairer BUT I can also see why you think a half should go to your descendents and a half to his regardless of how many persons are on each side.

FWIW, i had this conversation with my DP (he has assets with his DB) they will be split 50/50, even though he has 3 children and i have two, so my children would get proportionally more.

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 19:48

Yeah, what I was thinking was since everything is split 50/50 between us at the moment, if we died, everything we had would be split into two halves and half go to each side of the family.

OP posts:
CaliforniaLeaving · 10/10/2012 19:49

I agree half goes to each side of the family, maybe you want to give to a cousin or best friend too. Half to each side means he can divvy up his half in his way and you can do the same.

LFCisTarkaDahl · 10/10/2012 19:50

Half to each family.

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 19:51

I said to him, what if I had ten siblings, not just one? Then your DB and DSis would only get 1/12th. He wasn't sure if that changed his mind or not.

OP posts:
HecateLarpo · 10/10/2012 19:52

Everything you own is 50/50, right? so you should leave your 50% to who you want and he should leave his 50% to who he wants. Otherwise, you are leaving a portion of your 50% to who he wants and is that fair?

GoSakuramachi · 10/10/2012 19:52

Half each. If he had 10 siblings and you had none, would it all go to them? Nope.

sookiesookie · 10/10/2012 19:52

You are splitting it between 3 so split into thirds.

You want to split it between siblings, there are 3. Not 2.