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AIBU?

to think my sister should get half

161 replies

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 19:39

Sorry, this is a bit morbid! DH and I have been writing our will, and have come across a bit of a difference of opinion on who we would leave our stuff to. If both of us and the DC all were to die, god forbid, then we agree that we want all our stuff to go to our siblings. I have a sister and DH has a brother and a sister.

I assumed that we would say that my DSis would get half and the other half would be split between his two siblings, so 25% each for them. He assumed that we would split it in thirds and each sibling get a third.

It's not a big problem, we've talked it through and decided what we're going to say in the will. And hopefully, of course, this situation will never need to become a reality! But I wondered, what would you all think was fair in this situation?

OP posts:

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AThingInYourLife · 10/10/2012 21:00

Half to each side of the family.

Hanleyhigh · 10/10/2012 21:00

50% to each family.

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 21:00

Thanks for everyone's responses, this is very interesting reading for me. I really thought the Mumsnet jury would come down heavily one way or another!

DH's brother has two children, his sister has none, and my sister has one.

I think part of his thinking is that his sister is quite a bit younger than us and our other siblings, is less 'established' in life, and would need the money more. I understand this instinctive feeling of his to protect his little sister, but I still instinctively feel it should be 50% to my sister.

OP posts:

BabylonPI · 10/10/2012 21:01

This is probably why people end up leaving it all to cats protection league and the RSPCA!

digerd · 10/10/2012 21:02

Lurkerspeaks - When my husband and I went to make our joint will, the solicitor advised us to name who should inherit after both of us had gone, which was my daughter. After my DH died I returned to England from abroad and immediately made my own will here in England, and english solicitor said that I could name an heir from my estate after my daughter dies if she has no children. However, she can spend it all before she dies if she wants !!!!!

AThingInYourLife · 10/10/2012 21:05

Well he can give more of his 50% to his sister if he likes.

If you want your half of your assets to go to your own sister, that's up to you, surely?

digerd · 10/10/2012 21:18

To DowagerHump- exactly what I mean about the continental" blood-line heirs only" are fairer - in many countries not even the spouses can be heirs !!!!!!

digerd · 10/10/2012 21:33

A friend of mine is on her 3rd marriage, 2 dcs by the 1st and one by the 2nd, none by the 3rd. Because her current DH has already received his parent's inheritance ,as older than her, they made a will 60/40 to his 4 children. Her mother is in her 80s, and she said she doesn't want any of his disfunctional children getting 60% of HER mother's inheritance !!!!!!!! She does not expect any inheritance for her children from their 2 disfunctional fathers. I told her that she should ask her mother to leave the money to her 3 adult children in her Will, not her, but that she should,t expect any part of his parents inheritance to go to her children, if she does that.

sudaname · 10/10/2012 21:34

Thank you Dowager for that advice. But what l dont 'get' about all this is how would anyone know which property or monies or whatever are from that particuliar money iyswim.

E.g. Supposing on selling my DPs house or renting it out l decide to buy a family car and say buy some premium bonds with some of it. Then the car is sold and that money is put in the marital joint pot and gradually spent on the household or the premium bonds win 10k - does that 10k then go to my beneficiaries (my DCs) of the proceeds from my DPs house aswell.

I mean how do you trace that money in an estate or do you just literally put it in a seperate pot and specify whatever is left of it at time of your death is to go seperately to your DCs ???

oxford1972 · 10/10/2012 21:37

I agree with you. Indeed when an uncle died we got less due to the no. of siblings we have.

Graciescotland · 10/10/2012 21:42

50/ 50 seems fair

WiseKneeHair · 10/10/2012 21:45

This probably isn't helpful, but DH has no siblings. I have three. They are all older than me and only one of them has children. So, if DH, our children and I all die, we have left all our money to my sibling's children. This way, it gets to go to the next generation, which I think will need it more than my DSibs.

Narked · 10/10/2012 21:45

The assets are 50% yours. You decide where that 50% goes.

IneedAsockamnesty · 10/10/2012 21:47

another one for the your half to your family his half to his family camp.

the way i see it you each own 50% of the assests that means you each get to decide for 100% of your half

digerd · 10/10/2012 21:53

If we had the continental inheritance laws - the brother's only legal heir would have been his sister. What he did to his sister and his nephew was cruel, never mind their parents " turning in their graves" with dismay. It was their parents who worked hard to buy that house. The brother should not have this right to be so cruel and irresponsible IMO

WildWorld2004 · 10/10/2012 22:09

IMO if its going to specific people ie your sister & his two siblings then it should be split three ways.
However if the money is going to be shared amongst lots of family members ie all siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins etc then it should be split 50/50.

MagicHouse · 10/10/2012 22:15

50-50 split I think! My dad left his house to me, my brother and his late wife's daughter. She got 50% and we got 25% each. I thought this was entirely fair, as originally, half had belonged to her mother. xx

RedTuesdayGreenWednesday · 10/10/2012 22:23

You own 50% of your shared property. Therefore your family gets 50% (or whoever you decide to give it to). He owns 50% of your shared property. Therefore his family gets 50% (or whoever he decides to give it to).

rockinhippy · 10/10/2012 22:28

I'm on your side too, 50% to each family + then split between the 2 family mebers as seen fit.

musicmadness · 10/10/2012 22:32

50% to each family. I'm looking at this from the position of an only child and there is no way I would be happy with a partners siblings getting all the money while my cousins etc got none.

BlueSkySinking · 10/10/2012 22:33

I would say 50% to his side and 50% to your side.

Obviously 50% is yours to do with what you wish and DH can give away his 50% as he sees fit.

LilyBolero · 10/10/2012 22:36

1/3 each. Hopefully it won't be an issue anyway, but I as you are married, you are one family anyway, and it isn't like it's a big 'family estate' being passed down through the generations, pride & prejudice style! So I think it is nicer to do it evenly per person, not per 'side of the family'.

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LilyBolero · 10/10/2012 22:38

Also, I don't think it's true to say that each person 'owns' 50%. Certainly our house is legally owned by both of us 100% if that makes sense. I forget the legal term, but we specified it when we bought the house.

squoosh · 10/10/2012 22:42

Your estate belongs to you jointly. The fairest thing is that you each get to decide where 50% of your assets would go in such a situation.

scarlettsmummy2 · 10/10/2012 22:43

Half to each family.

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