to think my sister should get half

[StripyElephant]

Sorry, this is a bit morbid! DH and I have been writing our will, and have come across a bit of a difference of opinion on who we would leave our stuff to. If both of us and the DC all were to die, god forbid, then we agree that we want all our stuff to go to our siblings. I have a sister and DH has a brother and a sister.

I assumed that we would say that my DSis would get half and the other half would be split between his two siblings, so 25% each for them. He assumed that we would split it in thirds and each sibling get a third.

It's not a big problem, we've talked it through and decided what we're going to say in the will. And hopefully, of course, this situation will never need to become a reality! But I wondered, what would you all think was fair in this situation?

[birdofthenorth]

My folks have agonised over what to leave to grandchildren as more on one side or the other. My advice was to treat the gc equally not as appendages of the parents (& I'm the one with fewer DCs btw).

[HSMM]

You decide where your half goes and he decides where his half goes (DH has decided his half is going to my siblings ... not his)

[NewNames]

Third each. His siblings are your family too, no?

[AThingInYourLife]

"His siblings are your family too, no?"

That is such disingenuous bollocks.

His siblings are family, but they are not her siblings, are they?

He has two siblings and she has one, and their getting married hasn't changed reality so that they now each have 3 siblings.

That's why we use the words "in law", because there is a difference in the relationship between a person's mother, father or siblings and their spouse's mother, father or siblings.

[DeckSwabber]

Your half to your family, his half to his family.

Or leave it all to charity.

[Sabriel]

I had a similar discussion with one of my DCs because my mum's will specifies 50/50 to me and my brother. DB has only one child and is quite well off, while we are the church mice with 5 DC. DS felt that it would be fairer if I got 5/6ths and DB got 1/6. But even though I can see his logic it still seems fairer for a 50/50 split.

I'm sure we didn't get into the realms of everyone dying when we drew up our wills. It was difficult enough going over the split between our DCs, as DC1 is guardian for DC5 and we were worried that if we just said split 5 ways immediately then DC2, 3 and 4 could force DC1 to sell the house and isn't in a position to be able to provide for DC5. Very complicated.

I'm in the 50% to your sister 50% shared between his siblings camp.

[TinyDancingHoofer]

50/50

[NewNames]

No, I wasn't being disingenuous. That's what I would do.

[AThingInYourLife]

Maybe that's what you would do, but it is disingenuous to pretend that getting married makes someone else's siblings into your siblings.

It was also easy to tell because you used the interrogative no of insincerity.

[EllenParsons]

I would do 50:50 split between your family and his, so yes IMO your sister should get half.

[YouSmegHead]

The legal split per family thing is the nor I think, dividing by the number of people is maybe a more emotional way? Would he feel the same if he didn't get on with one of the siblings?

[SaraBellumHertz]

50% to each family here - that means my bil would get more than my sisters which I'd prefer in the abstract not to be the case but I can't help but see it as splitting our assets in two and DH deciding what happens to his and me deciding what happens to mine.

[claraschu]

Leave money to people who need it, and explain your thinking. My father left more to my sister (single parent) than to me (happily married). I think he did it right.

[samandi]

I would do half and half to each family.

[SummerRain]

I have no siblings, dp has 2. I wouldn't be happy if his family got everything.

It's a moot point as we have nothing to hand down but if and when we do I have a cousin and my parents who id want to benefit so id want to do 50:50.

[panicnotanymore]

Wills are very personal, so I'm not sure there is a right answer. I am in exactly the same position, and our will splits everything 3 ways between my sister, and his two siblings. My sister probably thinks she should get half, but I personally think that the three way split is fairer.

If you can't agree with your DH, make separate wills.

[DowagersHump]

sudaname - I think the only way you could do it is to ringfence it by putting it into a trust rather than into the family 'pot'. I am not a lawyer though but I think it would be worth having a conversation with someone about it.

If I die, all my money goes to DS (am a single parent) but it's held in trust for him until he's 25 (barring living expenses, education etc) so he won't piss it all up the wall :o

[Lambzig]

DH and I did our wills recently and 'compromised' after much heated discussion on 50:50 between the two families (I have two sisters and he has one). He wanted the whole share to go to his sister as she is struggling financially (and his parents have wills leaving their money to the grandchildren skipping a generation).

I feel that circumstances can change (and neither of my sisters are rich or well off at the moment, just getting by a bit better than his sister) and that it was just fundamentally unfair. It really caused trouble between us, but I think 50:50 is fairer.

[Jins]

We've gone with 50/50 to his side and my side. It's an unequal split

[poopnscoop]

I feel strongly re this as
(1) My fil is an utter b@stard toward me, always has been
(2) even though everything is joint in our home/bank account etc... in reality I bring in 4/5 of our income... and I do feel resentful of his family (especially the awful fil) getting 50% of everything, of which mine is the larger share
(3) my family has lots of kids, including OUR God children... and could use it more, for the kids
(4) I have a couple of businesses (of which DH is director)... WHAT happens with them??? I don't want his family to have ANY say re them, at all.

[DappyHays]

50% to each side.

must get will sorted

[Beanbagz]

DH and i have 3 siblings between us. Our wills are written so that the estate is divided by 3 should we all die.

I'm happy with this since i get on better with his siblings than my own. In fact my own DSibling will not inherit from our estate as their third would go direct to their DCs.

[HappyJoyful]

I'm 100% behind 50% for your family and 50% for his family so if he shares it into 2 that's his choice and you will only share it once.

My Mum and her sister owned a property together and put in totally equal sums of money into it. It was always made very clear to us children (she has 2, whilst my Mum has 3) that if anything was to happen to them it would be split 50% so me and my sisters would get a 1/3 share of her 50% and our cousins would get a 1/2 share of my aunts 50%..

To me there it's just very straightforward.