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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my sister should get half

161 replies

StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 19:39

Sorry, this is a bit morbid! DH and I have been writing our will, and have come across a bit of a difference of opinion on who we would leave our stuff to. If both of us and the DC all were to die, god forbid, then we agree that we want all our stuff to go to our siblings. I have a sister and DH has a brother and a sister.

I assumed that we would say that my DSis would get half and the other half would be split between his two siblings, so 25% each for them. He assumed that we would split it in thirds and each sibling get a third.

It's not a big problem, we've talked it through and decided what we're going to say in the will. And hopefully, of course, this situation will never need to become a reality! But I wondered, what would you all think was fair in this situation?

OP posts:
HecateLarpo · 10/10/2012 19:53

xpost. bloody good point. I bet he wasn't sure! I bet he sees your point and doesn't want to admit it Grin

Springforward · 10/10/2012 19:54

Half to your sister - it's yours to pass on as you see fit.

ChaoticismyLife · 10/10/2012 19:54

Half to each family.

effingwotsits · 10/10/2012 19:56

I agree with you . 50% to each side of the family.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 10/10/2012 19:56

Yeah, but they're real people, aren't they? Speculating on what it'd be like if they didn't exist seems odd to me ... that's now how families work, is it?

ganglygiraffe · 10/10/2012 19:57

Half to each family.
You and your husband own 50% each so it's up to you what you do with your 50%.

lurkerspeaks · 10/10/2012 19:58

Split per family. This is the legal way. So you sis gets 50% and his get 25% each.

EverybodysSpookyEyed · 10/10/2012 19:58

i agree 50/50

ENormaSnob · 10/10/2012 19:58

I'm with you, 50% to each family.

What of he had no siblings, would he be happy for yours to have it all?

MrsMellowDrummer · 10/10/2012 19:59

I'd assume 50/50, just like you did.

BMW6 · 10/10/2012 20:00

I think split 50/50 between the families too

Original poster
StripyElephant · 10/10/2012 20:02

LRD, I think that is a really good point. We are both close to each others siblings and so I totally see why he assumed we'd split it equally between the 3 of them.

Also very interested to hear that the legal way is split per family though.

OP posts:
WearingGreen · 10/10/2012 20:04

I think I would do 3rds but I am close to my sils. I might feel differently if DH had 10 siblings and My sis was only going to get 1/11th though.

digerd · 10/10/2012 20:05

Obvious for me that all should have a 3rd. If there were no will, your half would go to your blood line and your DH's to his, so would be different, unless your parents are still alive, in which case they would inherit if they survived you and not your siblings. The law is not always as you would think fair.

Shelby2010 · 10/10/2012 20:05

I thought 50/50 until we realised that in our case should the single sibling (who gets 50%) and has no children die, then the money would go to her husbands family who we don't even know. The multiple sibling side also have several nieces and nephews so we would rather a higher proportion of money went in that direction & decided on thirds.

Would be depressing if we actually had anything worth leaving to anyone!

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 10/10/2012 20:06

Half to yours, half to his. I think the "thirds" is the unfair way!!

WearingGreen · 10/10/2012 20:06

If you died without a will then legally it would be left to the sibling(s) of whomever is younger, unless that person has a surviving parent or child. The point of having a will is so you can choose.

AWimbaWay · 10/10/2012 20:07

I agree with you, 50/50

DowagersHump · 10/10/2012 20:08

I would split per family too. One of my friends is childless and has one brother who has 2 kids. Her parents have split their will 2/3 1/3 on the basis that he has 2 kids and she has none which has caused no end of resentment and upset. Similar scenario in a way.

You shouldn't be 'rewarded' for having more siblings which is what his suggestion is effectively suggesting. Also, if one of his siblings dies soon after you both do (again, let's hope it never comes to this), then the other one inherits 2/3 and your sister gets 1/3.

That's not 'fair' is it?

sarahtigh · 10/10/2012 20:08

I think if you died without making a will when it comes to sharing it is not equal to say all cousins, my dad is one of 4 he has three sisters two unmarried and one with i child my dad has 4 of us, if one of my childless aunts died each remaining sibling would get a 1/3 however if they had all died my cousin would get his mothers share and we would have a 1/4 of my dad's share each

however if you both die at the same time it is assumed youngest died first
however I think legally both sides of family get 50% therefore your sister would get 50% and Dh siblings 25% each provided no other bequests etc, if you do not leave a will only people descended from your grandparents can inherit ( great grandparents in scotland) if the nearest relation is more distant than that the state gets it

MummytoKatie · 10/10/2012 20:08

We have the same family set up and debated it for ages. (Note I get on really really well with my two BILs.)

We thought of other complicated options. 40%,30%, 30% etc.

Two things convinced us:-

  1. If intestate then everything goes to parents not siblings. We overrode this by leaving to siblings as both sets of parents are already very comfortable so we would be just paying inheritance tax twice when they left the money to our brothers. If we left to parents it would be 50:50 then become 50:25:25 when they died.
  1. If one of his brothers had died so we had one each then it should be 50:50 not 67:33 to the two survivors.

So we either did something very complicated or we did 50:25:25. We went for 50:25:25. It is worded as 50% to Katie's mummy's brother (plus descendents) and 50% to be shared by Katie's daddy's brothers (plus descendents).

Incidentally as far as intestate goes then (assuming you are married, have joint assets and are not really rich) if you were killed in a car crash then it first goes to whoever died last of the two of you then all to their family. If the paramedics turn up and you are both dead then it is assumed that the younger died last and so they get everything to go to their family.

hermioneweasley · 10/10/2012 20:09

Another vote for half to each side of the family.

Way2Go · 10/10/2012 20:10

We did 1/2 for DBIL, 1/4 for both of my DB.

It is tricky as my DB have DC's but my DBIL doesn't. We didn't give it too much thought though as the chances of all our DC, my DH and me all dying would be very, very remote and, if it did happen, I wouldn't care as I would be dead Confused

It is interesting thinking about it.

purplehouse · 10/10/2012 20:14

1/3 each
That's what we've done.

twooter · 10/10/2012 20:15

I would initially assume 50/50. It would possibly depend on how close I was to the people involved. At the end of the day, if my dc, dh and I were all dead then I probably wouldn't be arsedby the equal three way split.