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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let my daughter 'misbehave' in dance class?

346 replies

mrscumberbatch · 01/09/2012 11:53

My DD is an only child. 2.5 yrs old and is the only grandchild on both sides.

As such, everywhere we go, it's all about her as everyone dotes on her.

She isn't at nursery yet as me and DP managed to split childcare/work between us.

She has not long started dance classes (tap,ballet,disco.) And she is loving it, but is prone to getting distracted and running around the class and trying to chat to the other toddlers. She also gets bored during the quiet ballet part and does her own thing.

On one hand, I don't want to intervene, out of fear that I 'squash' her confidence. My thinking is that once she is at nursery with more structured play with other toddlers that she will come into line.

On the other hand, I hate being the only one in the class with a noticeably willful toddler.

WWYD? Leave her to it and cringe inwardly or become more involved and do some hovering?

OP posts:

CharminglyOdd · 01/09/2012 11:56

Is she distracting the other children whose parents have paid to take part? I think if people have paid and she is noticeably disrupting what they have paid for then you need to do a bit of hovering.

JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 01/09/2012 11:57

Is it disrupting the class that everyone else has paid for? If so, then I'm afraid, you should remove her as a disruptive influence. If this is the only interaction she gets regularly with other children, then you need to fond something that will allow her to interact with her peers.

I'd be pretty pissed off if I were paying out good money for an activity and one child ruined it.

Nancy66 · 01/09/2012 11:58

if she is distrupting the class then I'd take her out and look at re-starting when she's a bit older.

BillyBollyBandy · 01/09/2012 11:58

If DD1 does this, and is disrupting either the teacher or the other children, I step in. If she isn't hurting anyone I leave her to it.

Thumbwitch · 01/09/2012 11:58

DS started dance classes when he was 3. I made every effort to get him to concentrate on the teacher and not to arse about in the class, because it's very annoying for the other pupils (let alone the teacher).

Soo - if I were you, I'd be trying to instil in her that she needs to pay attention; however, she is still very young so it might be hard - this may mean intervention when she's affecting the other pupils (less so if she'd just "doing her own thing").

DS is now 4.8 and there are a couple of children in his dance class who are constantly playing up - it's far more annoying now, and in fact they seem to have stopped coming (since last week), not sure whether because the parents were embarrassed by them or because the teacher asked them to leave (doubtful, teacher is a preschool teacher as well).

You won't be squashing her confidence, you will be giving her structure and discipline, things that will help her understand that everything is not all about her all the time.

TheHeirOfSlytherin · 01/09/2012 11:59

I think 2 is too young for some children to concentrate and be quiet. Ds goes to tumble tots where he doesn't have to stay still and can do his own thing.

I took him to one baby ballet class and it was awful... every other toddler was as good as gold but ds just ran around like a tazmanian devil for the entire class. Some kids can do it, mine can not.

Mrsjay · 01/09/2012 11:59

she is obviously too young for a dance class tbh do the other children run around ? I would hover and remove her if she is disruptive but she isn't even 3 yet maybe she isnt ready yet

DameEnidSpink · 01/09/2012 12:01

What mrsjay said

lottiegarbanzo · 01/09/2012 12:01

If you want her to socialise with other toddlers and she needs an unstructured approach perhaps dance isn't the right activity?

Mrsjay · 01/09/2012 12:02

you can't squash her confidence if anything you are giving her boundries which instills confidence IMO letting them get on with it just makes them push the boundries
then you get a wilful child who looks and acts confident but isn't really

BlackberryIce · 01/09/2012 12:02

How annoying for everyone else!

Why did you include the 'it's all about her' background?

savoycabbage · 01/09/2012 12:03

I would do something else with her if she's bored of it. Tumble Tots maybe?

Mrsjay · 01/09/2012 12:04

I really must finish what i am saying if she is just disruptive in the ballet part then find her something else to do ,

LeeCoakley · 01/09/2012 12:06

So if everyone's doted on toddler did the same what would be the point of going?

When my dds were small I assumed that parents like you were only there to show off your child and didn't give a hoot about others. Dd's friend was an indulged child and basically used every after school activity as a stage for her 'talents' watched over by a doting mother who's only comment was 'Oh nobody minds, everyone loves dd'.

Don't become that mother!!!

greenhill · 01/09/2012 12:07

Your DD sounds young to have started a dance class, ours start at about 4 yo around here, as the instructors know that children are easily distracted and phase in and out in the lessons and join in when they feel like it.

I hover more when my DD does this and a stern use of her name normally helps. These toddlers must all have great attention spans...

Have you thought of something more age appropriate or is this class aimed at the very young?

helenthemadex · 01/09/2012 12:07

I would be quite annoyed if I was paying for my child to attend something like this and another child was running around and trying to distract my child

Children need boundaries so I would be trying to stop her from doing this, it doesn't have to squash her confidence just teach her what is acceptable

SirBoobAlot · 01/09/2012 12:09

She's obviously too young for it. Find a more casual dance session for her to go to, both because its not fair on the other children, and because its not actually fair on her if she wants to talk to the others.

InkyBinky · 01/09/2012 12:10

She seems too young for dance class, there is plenty of time for doing things like that when she is ready. She sounds like she may be irritating the other DC's.

Rubirosa · 01/09/2012 12:11

Sounds like the structured class doesn't suit her at the moment - take her to softplay or toddler group instead.

missmapp · 01/09/2012 12:12

Id find an activity/playgroup which is not as structured, as others have said your dd sounds too young for the dance class and it is annoying if you have paid for something and another child ignores the instruction, especially when you are trying to instil listening and concentrating skills in your dc.

tethersend · 01/09/2012 12:15

She sounds really bored- take her out and try again next year.

ExitStencilist · 01/09/2012 12:19

Either she should do the class properly or she's not ready/able and you should take her out. Its not fair on other peoples children.

Does "I don't want to squash her confidence" mean "I don't discipline my child at all"?

Eskarina · 01/09/2012 12:21

Although 2 does sound very young, she is going to have to conform to group expectations - and hear the word "no" at some point

Sassybeast · 01/09/2012 12:25

Oh little darling. You must absolutely let her run around, cause a nuisance and distract other kids. It's all about her after all

3littlefrogs · 01/09/2012 12:26

Dance class? At two and a half years old??

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