To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

A four hour party for 4 year olds????

Nightmare! What sort of parents would do such a thing?!

ACHICA , overreaction much? It wasn't cocaine, it was weed. My DD is 4 she had no idea what that 'funny smell' was and never asked, she was completley oblivious to what the adults were doing but would have notice cocaine being hoovered up the nose and probably would have asked what they were doing.

She is 4, had she have been 14 and aware of what they were doing then that would have been different. My child is not being taught to commit a crime, she had no clue as to what was going on. She was more interested in having her face painted,playing on the bouncy castle and eating copious amounts of cake and crisps

Fags, weed and getting pissed up at a kids party?

No. Just... No.

Especially with how strong that crap is these days. I would have made my diplomatic excuses and left. And probably not contacted any of them again. Just smile and nod if I had to. I'd rather be thought of as a stuck-up judgey-panted cunt than have that crap anywhere near us.

Sorry, but everyone can flame me, judge me all they like. I'm totally with your DH on this one. Leave all that crap shit for adult parties. If adults feel the need to do that with other adults, well, fine. Their gaff, their rules. But I will protect my children from it.

(Please feel free to call me a cunt because I always leave parties as soon as I smell weed because I loathe all that it does, entails and leads to. My husband used to smoke it - I told him it's us or that. I won't have that shit in my house or around my dcs. I've seen the carnage it leads to.)

Oh dear. I would be moving area and not see these people ever again. How irresponsible.

Achicha - umm I don't think the police are going to raid a children's party because there are a few joints there and I don't think those people would be locked up!!

Where do you people get your ideas about these things? From a 1950s government warning informercial where everyone is wild eyed, drooling and 'pushing' drugs on young children?

No smoking weed around kids isn't very nice or sensible or desirable, don't blame most people for not wanting that. I wouldn't either.

But smoking is a very commonplace activity for many people who are not, errr, 'scum' whatever that means.

Usual

Other than that I have no idea. Guess it's one of those that unless you've been there you have no idea what you'd do.

WTF? Timetoask, you would move house over this? Which part of the uk would you go to to get away from people smoking weed?

And ahica do you really think the police bust chldren's parties for a bit of weed? They might be interested in mass supply/production but they are not interested in small amounts for personal use.

Yes, I would be move area, if they were smoking weed in a kid's party then it is not the sort of people I would like my children to grow up with. I assume the children will go to the same schools, you will have more social gatherings with these people.

I got a bit annoyed recently when some old (and v.wealthy) hippies started smoking dope at a party, because our (theirs, mine, our other friends) children are older and they're aware of these things.

Just seemed pretty selfish of them, tbh.

YABU-and I am with your dh on this-they do sound like scum imo. I dabbled with drugs when I was younger but never weed as I HATE smoking with a passion. I wouldnt touch illegal drugs now I am a parent.

I would have left a party like this immedietly and I wouldnt associate with these people again.

I have to say my views may be coloured by the fact that my dh VERY occasionally smokes weed-never in our house I hasten to add. Brought by his brother who is a long time weed addict. He is currently on holiday in amsterdam with his dcs and Im sure many,many hours will be spent in cafes

Timetoask, so which area would you move to? Weed is smoked in all parts of the UK.

I wouldn't have known what weed smells like...so I probably would have stayed and thought "hmm, those cigarettes smell a bit weird"..If I'd known they were drugs though DD and I would have been out of there in a shot. What a stupid thing to around children. They should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

timetoask - you would be moving house every week if you wanted to avoid all recreational drug users! Hilarious! Do you live in the real world? You do know 'these type of people', ie weed smokers, can be CEOs, politicians, doctors and lawyers?

Are you sure you weren't backstage at an Oasis gig by mistake?

Hi all.. glad I've made some of you laugh...
I realise that recreational drug users live all over the UK, I am not that naive. But people that decide to smoke weed DURING A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR A 4 YEAR OLD tells me that I do not want them as my neighbours, nor do I want my children to visit them for playdates, nor to I want to have social gatherings for them, nor to I want to be part of their community.
hth

Coco

Ah this reminds me of a FIRST birthday party I went to and adults - including the babys parents - were smoking weed and snorting coke. I was even offered some... I was 16 at the time. it does happen unfortunately.

I think childrens parties should be for the childrens amusement,not an excuse for the parents to sit around toking and drinking.I can see your husbands view on this one...actually,if I found out my dh had kept my child in the company of 15 stoners instead of leaving,I would quite possibly be pissed off at him.

yanbu wrt your DH's attitude, it's not like you left your DD at the party. But I think I would make a BIG mental note for future about how trustworthy that lot of adults were. I'd view it same as if they were chugging pints at a kid party, a sign of rather iffy judgement.

What are the chances of 15 parents to four year olds all being weed smokers, going to a party, all going outside at the same time, all skinming up and all smoking weed?

That is the biggest, biggest load if bullshit I think I have ever read.

Either you're talking out your butt or youre confused.

Maybe all that second hand weed smoke caused the OPs confusion

Proud

So you really think the Police would ignore it if someone rang up to say there were a load of adults smoking weed at a 4 years party they would just ignore it??? Really? Apart from the illegal aspect for which, yes they could be arrested especially if one party were supplying the rest there are child protection issues so it definitely wouldn't be ignored.

And yet other posters on this thread have experienced similar. It happens, just because it's outside your experience it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

My neighbour has a very responsible job at a school, bursar I think. Her DP turned up at a works function AT THE SCHOOL with a couple of mates. The mates thought it was ok to do coke and try to chat up her work colleagues and one of them became aggressive with one of her colleagues because she wasn't interested.

Sounds unbelievable? But it happened. They split up over it.

YANBU.

I think you did the right thing. Like you said, if it was indoors it would be completely different, but if they were standing apart from the kids it's not the end of the world. Obviously, it's not ideal, but as we can see from the replies on here, it takes all sorts and what is normal for some can be so far from some people's reality as to sound untrue!

I know loads of people who smoke weed regularly and they are very far from being 'scum' (whatever that's supposed to mean). I personally can't really see the difference between smoking a bit of weed of an evening and settling down for a couple of glasses of wine. Each to their own I say.

My goodness, I am 47 years old and have never, since university, as far as I know, been to an adult OR children's party where any sort of illegal drug was on offer. Maybe Surrey is as boring as Jeremy Clarkson says it is. Or maybe I just haven't noticed?