To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

It's irrelevant whether the fragrant ladies of mumsnet decide to get their knickers in a twist or not. This happened in Jeremy Kyle land where sitting outside your flats smoking weed is normal. Just because you don't live in a high rise, doesn't mean this is outside the realms of possibility.

I'd have been as concerned about people being drunk around 4yo tbh.

I don't think the smoking would have overly concerned me, it would have if the children were older.

Drugs at kids parties is a bit sad.

I would have asked for a J in the party bag though .

I have been a parent for nearly 18 years and had 4 kids and must have been to literally 100s if kids b'day parties.Never once in that time have I come across 1 person smoking weed ata party.Ocasionally maybe 1 beer or glass of wine has been offered to parents, but that very very rarely.

Where exactly is Jeremy Kyle land?

It could happen ime. A friend went to a landscape design course at the local college and there was alot of nudge nudge, wink wink 'well doesn't everyone have a cannabis plant in their polytunnel/greenhouse' from the other mature students (true we do live in an arty, ageing hippy area) being a saddo I don't have one and weed smoking seems rife round here.

But not around small kiddies though there are 'cool' prats who think it's yeah! right on, man imagine if you needed urgent medical care for a child and were all a bit spaced out or drunk. No, adults only imo.

Its not right but is it really that unlikely that most people dont believe it.Seen much worse such as speed,pills etc around children and teens.No lots of people that grew up with that sort of thing happening regularly.Not right but in some areas quite commonplace unfortunately

We would have left. I have stopped being friends with someone I have been close friends with for nearly 8 years because I have just found out that the man in her life takes cocaine and she lets him be with her dcs and got offered cocaine at a party to sober up. Yes I know I'm probably abit naive, but drugs are illegal. I was around people at college who smoked hash, but we've grown up since then. I would definately not have people who break the law around my dcs.

I wouldn't have left, but I wouln't have used the toilet or any inside facilities where weed was smoked (a 4 yo can do a wee in the bushes).

On the other hand I wouldn't want my DC to go to playdates with any of the weedsmoking parents. But then, mine didn't go by themselves at that age.

omg i cant believe some DONT think this goes on

as ive said many a time "i feel i live a different life to alot of MN'ERS" this thread has backd it up

i back the op,this has gone on a fair few times at social gatherings ive been to,i dont like weed myself but i would rather be in the company of a stoner than a raging drunk,lets face it the MC love a good drink,to some sharing a couple of bottles of wine is more exceptable than weed because its legal and seen as more refined

IMHO

I don't believe a word of it and I do not have a sheltered life.

I know many, many people who smoke weed. A fair few who do harder drugs and sadly a couple too many who have addictions

It's part of my social circle.

I have been at adult only parties where weed is freely passed around and you know who to follow into the loo if you want something a little more exciting.

I have been at grown up parties that children happen to be at and weed has been smoked 'secretly' (i.e everyone but the lo's knows what's going on in the 'giggling' corner') in a corner of the garden by a select group but no-one has gotten totally stoned because there are kids there, why would you?

Never, ever have I been at a kids party where every adult there has spent the afternoon openly getting stoned.

i doubt if every adult was stoned,well op was there and she wasnt,she probably assumed they all were,

Its commonplace for adults to smoke weed in front of their kids here most dont see it as anything different to fags.Seen many parents doing lines in front of kids etc it happens dooinmecleanin

I would have left but I am 100% anti drugs of any kind ( ancient, past it, fuddy duddy - call me what you like ) but I come from the til its legal its wrong club.

I don't find it unbelievable and it wouldn't have bothered me personally.

Doingmecleanin. So that means you think i am lying then? Imagining things?

yanbu, it was outside, it's not like the kids would have noticed. I would much prefer people smoking weed than drinking, the only effect weed has on people is it makes them mellow, lazy and hungry, big deal. It would have been different if everyone was cooped up inside but they weren't.

The only effect that taking your child away from the party would have been to spoil her fun, upset her and make her feel left out. You did the right thing.

Doinmecleanin, thats the only part that Im a bit about. I don't doubt that the other parents were all smoking weed, its the fact that they are all stoned. Lots of respectable people i know that smoke dope dont get stoned out their nut, they just have a few smokes and are pleasantly relaxed itms. As a non smoker i imagine it must be like having a one or two drinks.

I don't believe I recall reading a post by you PooPoo, let alone commenting on one

I was referring to the OP.

Omg

Maybe it's because I grew up in a village and have only lived in small towns, how can drug taking around dcs be acceptable?

Spanky - I'm from the arse end of London and find it totally unacceptable.

FFS will the people trying to compare taking illegal drugs to alcohol get some sense-the clue is in the illegal and if you are ok with people doing this around kids then you would be quite happy for them to drive your dcs home no??

somebody that has a couple of joints dosent think they can take on the world and win,unlike a binge drinker

im sure the police would say more trouble is caused on a friday/sat night by drink than somebody having a joint

i do not smoke joints myself but friends do

I'm glad it isn't just me who finds it unacceptable. Arse end, love it! I was starting to wonder if I was small town, not worldly wise from the big city!