To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

akaemmafrost. I thought 4 hours was a reasonable time for a childs party. It would have been difficult for it not to be obvious I was leaving because of the weed smoking. She would have questioned why I was leaving so soon.

DH wouldn't have taken her, he wouldn't have 'mixed with the chav scum'

My DD was invited to a jubilee party , jubilee weekend , it was arranged for months, I was working that day so DH had to take her, he stayed 1/2 hour and he didn't want to mix with 'scum' so he promptly left . I reminded him it wasn't about him, it was a party DD had been invited to.

I take as I find , i'm not so judgey and don't call people scum without just cause , even if they do smoke weed, or are a 'bit loud'

Are you in Nottingham OP?

I can assure other posters that I've seen this happen myself and have sent my DD home. It is not unusual in certain areas at all especially the one where I live where it is more normal to smoke it than not to smoke it.

I would have left purely because I wouldn't want to be around people with such a lack of self control.

Weed smoking isn't something I clutch my pearls about but there is a time and a place and that time certainly isn't at a childs birthday party.

How irresponsible of them!

I'm with your DH, you should have left and soon as the drug taking started.

'chav scum'

I'd have done what you did OP as i wouldnt have wanted to spoil it for DD -provided I was able to keep her away from the smokers. I also wouldn't have wanted to have to explain/lie to her why she couldn't stay, given that she is so young. But I'd certainly have left if the party was inside, and I would never take her to another party at that house.

They weren't stoned as far as I could tell , there were many adults with many joints but I was sat with a small group of ladies who were a little tipsy but I left after they decided to get more wine, they had a few puffs but weren't stoned , not where I was sat, I couldn't comment on the other adults.

Shiny i could not care less what drugs people take, it doesn't bother me in the slightest i have done more than my fair share

But i do think to do it a children's party is unacceptable and i would have left and been honest about why i was leaving.

If people want to have a joint and get drunk that's cool, not around my dc though.

I wouldn't have stayed. The host would have been left in no doubt why either, nor would anyone else who happened to be about at the time - not because my DC might breathe in the smoke but because drug-taking is completely unacceptable to me. Your DH made a good call when he decided not to mix with the scum.

I'm not sure why some on here think this thread is not real. I've seen this happen on several occasions - where there is a party that is for both children and adults, and a small contingent of the adults is off in one corner smoking weed. It's not as unusual as some people might think.
For me, if it was as above it wouldn't bother me too much, but if there were more drugs being used and alcohol as well I would leave with my children pretty quickly.

I definitely wouldn't have taken her if it were inside , no way, but being outside with masses of open space , I didn't think it was a huge deal.

Chav scum was my DH words not mine. He thinks people like that are beneath him, he gets the immense judgyness from his deligthful mother. I take as I find and live and let live. It takes all sorts as far as I'm concerned

I´d have left.

I wouldn´t have wanted to be there, let alone my child.

Selks i was and in disbelief at the beginning of the thread as it is something i have never experienced and i am still tbh.

Although op has continued to post and is obviously telling the truth.

In spite of my younger days i obviously live a very sheltered life now.

YANBU, your DH is a judgemental cock. Plenty of middle class parents smoke weed too. I love your description 'DH popped a ballsack'.

It has nothing to do with class, so far as I'm concerned. It has to do with the illegal substances, the effects of second hand pot smoke and small children.

AKiss, sure plenty of MC parents smoke weed too. It's entirely likely that the OP's DH is fully aware of that but in his opinion these particular people were chav scum not middle-class scum. :)

I think it's real. Personally I have never actually experienced it but I have known people who would do it without a second thought. In Nottingham actually for the poster who asked if this thread had happened in Nottingham. Also know many who think that get off their nuts on alcohol at a kids party is perfectly acceptable.

Is it realistic for OP to break contact with all these people by flouncing out of their party disapprovingly? If they are her immediate neighbours and it's quite a close knit community, a bit of diplomacy will be needed.

I'm not in Nottingham no .

I knew that's her thing of choice, mine is wine, she dosen't drink wine she smokes weed . Each to their own . To be honest I was suprised that all her friends did it too, that's her circle of friends though. She smokes weed like people smoke cigarettes, I knew this before I took her but I didn't think she'd have the time to be honest.

I love MN I really do but some of the outrage on here about things that are very common place makes me . Not that they should be commonplace I agree.

I don't think anyone told the OP to flounce. Make your excuses, or just the tell the truth politely 'I'm sorry, I don't like my self or my child around second hand smoke of any kind' and leave. If they don't invite you again? Problem solved.

I used to be a 2 - 3 pack a day cigarette smoker. I don't even like to be around others smoking now, but I'll put up with it. Pot is illegal. And not something I want my kids to grow up thinking is okay to do.

Set a good example.

Are you sure, Leftwing? Of course it's realistic! I wouldn't give a heck if the party hosts and attendees were neighbours, family, whatever, they'd still be history.

You wouldn't have seen me for dust! Then again, I'm a police employee and am more anti-drugs

Arg! Posted too soon!
I'm more anti drugs than Queen anti drugs on anti drugs day in anti drugs land!

The thing everyone seems to have missed is that it is illegal to smoke weed.

Do you really think it's ok to teach your child to commit crime. What laws should they follow and what laws can they break??

What are you going to say when you have that say 'no' to drugs speech?

Not only are they bad for you but it's illegal and you could end up with a criminal record and affect your job prospects.

Would you have been ok if it had been a middle class party and they'd been snorting cocaine (the middle class drug of choice). Probably you would be even less concerned as there would be no chance of 'passive' cocaine inhalation???

Unbelievable attitude. Certainly would have been a party to remember if it had been raided by the Police and all the parents locked up!!!

I'm with Tee and Graham. I would have left and said why. I don't give a toss if my pants are hoiked so high I can taste them. I reserve the right to be judgy about slightly stupid people.