To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

Its not outside my experience by any means.

But Im telling you now, if you invited all your childs 4 year old friends no way on earth would 15 of the parents coincidentally be weed smokers. Even on Chatsworth eastate that would never happen. It didnt happen.

Yes some parents smoke weed. Yes some have 4 year olds. Yes they have parties, yes some may be daft enough to smoke at a party.

But for 15 parents to all be smoking weed outside at the same time? It didnt happen.

I personally think it's disgusting, and I agree with achica, I think the Police or SS would definitely not have ignored it. Why on earth would a load of parents feel the need to get stoned and drunk at a little boys birthday party?!

I don't know about 'chav', but certainly scum.

sallymonella-you cant see the difference between a bit of weed and a couple of glasses of wine?-eh one well on them is illegal for a start.

And yes I would judge people who did this and think they were "scummy"-so what?

marriedinwhite A random selection of 15 parents all smoke weed hmm and all smoke it together at a children's party . . . tick tock, tick tock, wind up the clock, tick tock

Why oh why just because you haven't experienced something yourself do you assume must it be a wind up

op Im seriously wondering if i was at the same party as you!

OP

i thnk you need to look at all the responses on this thread and note that actually it is not usual behaviour for grown ups.

i must say mumsnet is getting more jeremy kyle every day

But did you leave before or after the strippers arrived?

I agree completely with Norty - I've never ever been to any gathering where that many people are smoking weed. Never. And I've been to some wild parties in my time! I'm loving all the faux outrage on this thread! You do know, don't you, that you can all be as precious as you like about never ever exposing your children to drugs (and what nonsense actually! I've smelled weed being smoked in town centres ffs - you cannot avoid exposure anywhere!) - anyway - what you need to realise is this.............expose them or don't, bury your heads or don't, discuss it or not - if they are minded to they WILL try the stuff in their teens no matter what you do. Unclench your collective buttocks ffs!

i think smelling it in town ang going to a party where everyone is smoking it is a bit diferent. there has to be an aknowledgement that this isn;t usual

Oh honestly. It has nothing to do with clenched buttocks and I do expect he'll be exposed to drugs at some point.

However, does it have to be at a 4 year olds birthday party?

Not exactly the same as a random smell on the village green, is it?

And I can believe most if not all were smoking. Ever hear of peer pressure? Adults can also succumb.

NortyNancySun What are the chances of 15 parents to four year olds all being weed smokers, going to a party, all going outside at the same time, all skinming up and all smoking weed? That is the biggest, biggest load if bullshit I think I have ever read. Either you're talking out your butt or youre confused.

Its not outside my experience by any means. But Im telling you now, if you invited all your childs 4 year old friends no way on earth would 15 of the parents coincidentally be weed smokers. Even on Chatsworth eastate that would never happen. It didnt happen. Yes some parents smoke weed. Yes some have 4 year olds. Yes they have parties, yes some may be daft enough to smoke at a party. But for 15 parents to all be smoking weed outside at the same time? It didnt happen.

Wow aren't you an arrogant know all! How the hell would you know!?

I was either at this party or a very similar one and i can tell you it happened/happens!

I really think you shouldn't declare other posters to be liar!

I would have left I think. I don't have a problem with people smoking weed, I did pre kids, but if you can smell it at a children's party I think that's pretty shit. I'm a smoker but wouldn't smoke at an outdoor kids party, I'd go round the front of the house or something. Totally pmsl at 'popped a ballsack' though!

But Im telling you now, if you invited all your childs 4 year old friends no way on earth would 15 of the parents coincidentally be weed smokers. Even on Chatsworth eastate that would never happen. It didnt happen.

I'd bet good money it did. I'd say around 8/10 people round here smoke weed I know most of them who do and the ones I know all have children ranging in age from 6 months to 10 years and all ages in between. I sat at an ex-friends and watched a 2 month pregnant woman smoke a joint. I've known people to smoke 10 minutes before picking their children up from school.

Can I ask how were all these adults getting to and from the party...I suspect some of them were driving. If this is the case then the police should have been called immediately!

I personally would have left but then that's because I have seen first hand the damage that weed can do to someone and I won't put myself or anyone I love anywhere near the stuff.

I just don't understand why any grown up couldn't wait! If you are so desperate to have a smoke you can't wait until after the party then you have a problem as far as I'm concerned.

nortynancy I think it is incredibly common in some circles and so the chances are quite high that you could have 15 people all smoking weed, especially if the party invitees were children of parents friends rather than school pals for example.

TBH I haven't been to a party like that for a whole - traded trendy London meeja circles for something a little more suburban, but such parties were common and I still attend plenty where copious amounts of Chablis are consumed.

Queen. Perhaps they all hang out together and its what they are into? Perhaps it got offered around and they decided to join in? Is that what you are wondering or are you another one calling both myself and the op liars because we have both experienced something that you haven't and so can't possibly be true

I'd have left, a kids party really isn't the right place for drug use (or heavy drinking)

Though, to be fair, I also leave adult parties where drugs are being used.

I'll wager it happened as well.
Because it's become too normalised.

And sorry, but with all the possible mental health and social risks that can be associated with it, that's not a good thing.

You really want our children growing up around that?

PooPooInMyToes Not accusing anyone of lying been around it myself a lot still am, could tell the wonderful story of how a friend (yes a friend) who sells weed (nothing else) was busted by the police told to keep the spliff she was smoking by them as she'd need it for the stress they caused and was then dealing again that night. That's Nottingham for you!

I'd have left for 2 reasons

1/ Whatever my personal opinions on weed - it's illegal & I don't want my child around potentially criminal activities, end of. Call me a square, I don't care . It makes me unpopular in some circles but "I'm not bovvered".

2/ I've what happens to the very tiny minority of teenagers who succumb to pyschosis as a result of the impact of weed on growing brains. Kids learn by example & I'd never forgive myself if my 14/15 year old ended up in the sad state I've seen some do, simply because I'd inadvertently given him the impression it's "safe".

illegal drugs at kids party
id have been offsky.sharpish
i agree with your dh
im a bit bemused that you knew the adults are smoking blow and you stay at party for 4 hours.never mind nice castle though...

you seem v nonplussed in responses- hey here just bit weed and all that

you and your dh have v different social values,does this cause any other strife?

IShoes you have pointed out that one of them being illegal and the other is not. But to be honest, whether or not it's legal or not doesn't particularly bother me. If we'd have lived in a different time, weed could have been legal and alcohol could have been illegal. What bothers be more is whether or not something is morally wrong, and morally, I think the distinction between the two is negliable.

Sorry, bad editing there, meant to say that you pointed out that one IS illegal and the other is not.

I'm a judgey pants!

No one is going to smoke anything like that near my daughter if i can help it. I certainly wouldn't stay at a party like this, but i then i don't know any people who think it would be acceptable to smoke it at a childs party. Wouldn't want to know them either. With your DH on this one 100%.

Plus, its ILLEGAL! Some people still have respect for the law.

I'd have left, obviously. After notifying Jeremy Kyle and his aftercare team that some of his regulars had had a great idea for a new show.