To not regret my decision for not 'telling off' other adults and letting my child still stay at the party

[Shinyshoes1]

My 4 year old DD1 was invited to a party yesterday along with other 4 year olds and the little boy who had turned 4.
There was a bouncy castle, face painting, loads for the kids to be doing and they were having a great time outside enjoying the 'ahem' great British weather.....................so were the adults who were all smoking weed.I was the only one that wasn't smoking weed. I'm a non smoker and my days of recreational drug taking finished the moment I decided to settle down and have a family.
DH has just popped a ballsack after finding out his daughter had 'breathed it in' and 'didn't I say anything' no I didn't there were about 15 ADULTS there all smoking weed, Who am I to dictate what they do. It was outside and apart from the obvious smell I doubt my daughter even noticed along with the other child whom are either oblivious to the smell or used to it. My DD when she had to use the loo was taken by me and escorted back outside as they were smoking it inside too and in such a confined space I didn't want he in there too long.

WIBU, SHould I have left in protest like my DH says? it's not like they were blowing it in the childrens faces. It was outdoors in a communial area

I would have left. I have no objection to adults smoking but there is a time and a place.

i simply dont know the kind of people who smoke blow at weans party

Im not arrogant, Im just not so daft I believe this BS.

I too am highly amused the outrage.

yadbu, why the hell would u be happy to stay there, never mind keep your 4 year old there...?? shocking behaviour on your part imo.

i can imagine the too cool for school,we is individuals doing this
yes you know the types all achingly liberal and trying to be so chilled
bet they say chillax too (like dave cameron)

I would have stayed, it doesnt really matter what they were doing, your child was just having fun on the play things.

I'd have left as soon as I noticed, and my DC wouldn't go to anymore of their parties. I would also explain why in the middle of the school playground if asked.
I don't tolerate drugs, and in my opinion drugs and kids should never mix (neither should excess alcohol or tobacco smoke really). My kids would have made a loud comment about "funny smelling, stinky smoking" anyway.

yes get the priorities right!
bouncy castle- check
blow- check
pom bears - check
staying put - yes of course?

I can't believe anyone would find this acceptable. I have smoked enough in my time but would never think this to okay a a children's birthday party!

I am stunned by some people on this thread.

at a children's....

Ffs why do posters ALWAYS accuse op's of lying if it's something they havnt experienced themselves! Just shut up.

krumbum following your logic,anything goes
so long as weans had good time,eh

I'm a great fan of weed, though I very rarely smoke it now (old responsible gimmer). But no way on god's green earth would I have stayed at a children's party where the adults were smoking, and then later drinking. It's just absolutely inappropriate. There are children's parties, and there are adult parties. You do not do adult things at children's parties.

I do wonder if the OP lives under a bridge near some goats...but will give the benefit of the doubt. YABU and your DH is not.

oh hurah the trollhunters and i aint having it crew have rocked up

I really wouldn't want to associate with people who thought this was acceptable behaviour at a child's birthday party. I can believe it happens, there were a lot of 'interesting' parents who frequented the pub I worked it, could totally see this happening at one of their houses.

With my own parent friends, the most you'll see at a kid's party is the occasional glass of wine or bottle of beer, and then only if two parents are there and the other isn't drinking.

Fortunately, my DH and I had the same reaction to this thread.

Yeah pretty much Scottishmummy. Unless it actually affects them which this didn't.

OP are you new to the area? I am puzzled as to how there was such a concentration of dope smokers at one party. Was it the birthday child's parents and then extended family? Or was it the parents and then 6 other sets of parents who go to your child's school?

I'm sure there are a few late night dope-smoking parents out there but these lot must be pretty hard-core dope-smokers if they didn't think it at all inappropriate to be doing it when other children and their parents outside of own their social circle were coming along. And if they are such hard-core dope smokers I would imagine that you could tell by how f**ked they looked on a daily basis on the school "run" (though I doubt they run anywhere).

If I had turned up at a party and there was a throng of parents settling in for a big drinking session I wouldn't leave my child there. If I had turned up at a party and there was a substantial throng of parents sitting there smoking (weed or otherwise) I would probably make my excuses after a few bounces and take my child away.

Had you absolutely NO suspicions that the party child's parents might have a different outlook on life than yourself?

I completely believe this. I've seen it often, more typically at general parties where there are children and adults rather than parties specifically for children.

My DH is a regular weed smoker, I'm more of an occasional, and it is common place in some of our circles of friends. Its entirely plausible that 15 adults would be smoking together, especially if the childs parents invited their friends with children.

Those talking about police raids, must have been smoking some double strength. The idea of that happening is completely ridiculous. Its only on mn have I encountered such attitudes to weed, I'm 39 and have been around people who smoke weed for as long as I can remember, I've never met anyone so appalled by it as they appear on mn.

Btw OP my DH has a very respectable job working in law and nowadays could even be considered middle class.

That really happened?! If so, I'm completely with your DH on this one. I'd have been straight out of the door and gone home, party or no party!
That anyone would find that acceptable to do, or to sit and do the party thing with that going on and not saying anything, quite frankly is beyond me.
I'd have gone ape s* with my DH if he'd have stayed around with that, and to that extent, and I'm the most non confrontational person ever!

"I've never met anyone so appalled by it as they appear on mn."

Surely that´s because it´s "commonplace" for you though?

I don´t know/have never met anyone who smokes weed & therefore find such relaxed attitudes unusual.

Isn´t that the thing though-things that people used to find shocking become "normal"?

Hence why getting so drunk that you fall down & pee & puke is so widespread?

A friend came to my house a few months after dd was born and when dd was napping, asked if I fancied having a joint in the back garden. I said no. Weed has the opportunity to cause panic attacks, hallucinations and violent sickness. Why would I risk getting it that state near to my daughter? And why would I take my daughter to a party where she might see other parents in that state?

I agree with your partner and would be fuming if dp took dd to a party like that without leaving as soon as it was obvious that's how the parents were going to conduct themselves.

There you go OP , are people suitably shocked , outraged and appalled yet?

lol krumbum,doing the yeah man too cool for school if it doesnt affect the kids

the kids are dependent upon the adults to be responsible,alert and attentive. blow affects cognitive and affective responses. rendering the adults a bit useless. yes it effects the kids

the kids will be effected if party is busted
or parents too intoxicated to watch their kids welfare

and frankly id not expect illegal at a kids party

There was also a court case where a boy was seriously injured falling off a bouncy castle. The parents holding the party were deemed responsible as it hadn't been adequately supervised, if most of the adults were smoking I am sure it would have been an even more clear cut case.