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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my new health visitor?

258 replies

EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 19:55

I carefully explained to her today the situation. Currently my son is 18months and sleeping in a travel cot, which i am worried that he will eventually climb out of and what did she tell me, when he does, just put a mattress on the floor for him, HELLOOOOO. I then explained, it was my sisters room, and has full length glass on the wardrobe doors and bedside tables and she told me to put CLING FILM over it, like thats really going to help. Surely its dangerous to leave him to just run around in there on his own? If i had said it surely they would have been onto social services!!! I am sure she couldnt have had children of her own btw

OP posts:
fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 19:56

Well why put him in there then? WHat did you honestly expect her to do about it?

ABatInBunkFive · 14/12/2011 19:57

What did you want her to say?

fivegomadindorset · 14/12/2011 19:58

Trying to figure out what exactly your problem is?

RitaMorgan · 14/12/2011 19:58

The cling film thing sounds weird, but is a mattress on the floor such a bad suggestion? I'm not sure what solution you expected from her.

canyou · 14/12/2011 19:58

I would have said the same re the climbing, remove the bed side tables and teach him no not near the wardrobe surely it is shatter proof glass?

lukewarmMulledWhine · 14/12/2011 19:59

Erm, what exactly did you want her to say?

If you don't think the travel cot is safe, put him in a large cot. If you don't think the room is safe, put him in a different room or make the room safe.

I think HV have got more important issues to deal with? even if they do dish out dodgy advice

SantaDesperatelySeeksSedatives · 14/12/2011 20:01

Erm... sounds like she was trying to help. What did you expect her to do/say?

BTW don't see what her having DC of her own (or not) has to do with this Hmm

StrandedUnderTheMisltoe · 14/12/2011 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsCarriePooter · 14/12/2011 20:01

I'm going to go with "yes, you are" because it seems whatever you wanted from her wasn't actually possible.

Alternatively:

  1. Put a lid on the travel cot?
  2. Put him in a different room?
  3. Move the furniture?
  4. Tie his arms and legs together?

?

south345 · 14/12/2011 20:03

Why ask? We're you unsure what to do when he climbs out? Ds2 is nearly 2 and hasn't climbed out, when he does I'll put him in a bed with a stairgate on the door. Ds1 climbed out at 12 months so we put him in a bed, you'll have to childproof his bedroom you can't be in there all night surely?

OddBaubles · 14/12/2011 20:04

When children grow out of a cot (travel or otherwise) then they tend to have free access to the room in which they sleep, it's your job to make that room safe. It sounds like she is trying to suggest the cheapest ways it may be possible to do this.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 20:04

Why is he in your sisters room? The way you're putting this it's like you actually expect her to rehouse you....

canyou · 14/12/2011 20:04

Thinking about it the cling film is an inspired idea, if he breaks it the glass shatters and stays in the cling film not spread about the room/shatter on your DC

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:05

There is no room for a travel cot. I asked her for a letter to support my housing application. Surely, there has to be things you can buy to stop mirrors from breaking, i thought she might have known where to get them from. I get the mattress on a floor or a low single bed, except i had just explained there was no room for a cot let alone single bed. She seemed like she thought i was really stupid and said, oh isnt he quick on his feet, hes 18months old of course hes fast on his feet. I am at my mums so cant put him in a different room, and no room for anything bigger than the travel cot, we can only barely get that in and i've got mums room which is the master room. She also asked about my periods, which i thought was a but strange, when she read about my pcos. Dont think she really knew what she was talking about.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 14/12/2011 20:06

i think her advice is fine

NatashaBee · 14/12/2011 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMerrynder · 14/12/2011 20:08

Did she say she'd do the letter?

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:08

I do want to be rehoused, i am staying with mum cos my husband was abusive, so had no option but to leave! Just wanted a letter to say it wasnt suitable to stay permanently. I am really trying to house myself, but a little help would go a long way! thought they might have ideas about Rent deposit schemes that may be available.

OP posts:
nailak · 14/12/2011 20:09

Why can't you just co sleep? Tbh it does not sound that big a deal, I have 3 dcs sharing a room the 17 mnth old sleeps either with his 4 yr old dd on a single with a bed guard or with me,

lukewarmMulledWhine · 14/12/2011 20:10

Well that's a completely different issue from your OP.

I hope you manage to get something sorted, and your HV can help you if she is able.

(still think a mattress on the floor - cot size - isn't a bad idea, if that's all there is room for)

desertgirl · 14/12/2011 20:10

I'm confused, he's sleeping in there with your sister? why don't you just have him in with you instead?

and if he isn't sleeping with your sister, where does/did she sleep when she is there - presumably not in a travel cot??

Shakirasma · 14/12/2011 20:13

Why is it odd that she commented he was fast on his feet? Some kids can't even walk at that age and many have only just started. It was a legitimate observation.

TBH all her advice seems sound to me. I think you are expecting too much from her and your stress is clouding your judgement of her

FaverollesWithBoughsOfHolly · 14/12/2011 20:13

Tie him up in the cot.
Problem solved.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:13

I am epileptic and have fits so it isnt safe to co sleep unfrotuantly, as i would have done when he was little. the health visitor said that she didnt think it was necessary for her to do a letter as she thought i was doiny "okay" as it was.

I would love to co sleep, i always loved feeling close to my son, but cant sleep with him. I am struggling to sleep, so stressed..

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/12/2011 20:14

So basically your issue is that she won't write you the letter you want?

If your sleeping in the master bedroom isn't there room for him with you in there? Or even assuming a master bedroom has a double bed share a bed with him?