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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my new health visitor?

258 replies

EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 19:55

I carefully explained to her today the situation. Currently my son is 18months and sleeping in a travel cot, which i am worried that he will eventually climb out of and what did she tell me, when he does, just put a mattress on the floor for him, HELLOOOOO. I then explained, it was my sisters room, and has full length glass on the wardrobe doors and bedside tables and she told me to put CLING FILM over it, like thats really going to help. Surely its dangerous to leave him to just run around in there on his own? If i had said it surely they would have been onto social services!!! I am sure she couldnt have had children of her own btw

OP posts:
Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:14

AND wtf have my periods (or lack of them) got to do with my sons health?

OP posts:
mummytotwins · 14/12/2011 20:14

cant your mother just write to the housing ofice and say that it is not a long term solution and that she wants you out by such a date, i.e she will make you homeless, the housing people will then help you out.

Short term I would co-sleep with him if he starts climbing out of the travel cot

SantaDesperatelySeeksSedatives · 14/12/2011 20:15

Doubt the HV will know about rent deposit schemes tbh. You need to be pushy talking to housing about helping you out. Literally down there everyday. I've been in a similar situation and ime you have to be persistant (NOT rude, nasty abrasive etc) just keep reminding them you still exist. Has your mum written a letter saying she wants you out NOW yet? If not she needs to. She has to be pushy too.

Really feel for you OP. Hope the housing team where you are pull their fingers out soon!

FaverollesWithBoughsOfHolly · 14/12/2011 20:15

Oops, sorry, my joke seems a bit crap now!

Would he sleep in a grobag, that would delay the climbing out.

humblehippo · 14/12/2011 20:15

I'm not sure it is a health visitors job to help you with things like rent deposit schemes etc is it? I would recommend you talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau about it.

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:16

No i am sleeping in there, she has sort of moved out, so sleeps on the sofa, mum had taken it back as her room, so all a muddle really.

OP posts:
littleducks · 14/12/2011 20:16

Advice sounds fine, a cot mattress on the floor doesn't take up much space, less than a travel cot as you can tuck it away in the daytime.

canyou · 14/12/2011 20:16

Why don't you just crisscross tape over the mirror that way if he damages it will not shatter on top of him.
You can buy safety tape in the US for mirrors but it costs $$$$$$$

WhoWhoWhoWho · 14/12/2011 20:17

Are you sure she meant actual cling film? You can get a kind of safety film to put on glass that doesn't have a safety mark on it, perhaps she meant that.

Could you fit in the room you are currently in, one single bed for you and one junior bed for him? Safety gates on whichever doorway of the room he sleeps in and all things he shouldn't have put out of reach.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 20:18

The health visitor is there to look out ofr you as well as your son, so her questions about your health are entirely valid. Where is your mm sleeping? I don't understand why you're in the master bedroom if there's room as well for a bed in your sisters room? Are you on the right epilepsy medication?

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:19

He is sleeping in a grow bag i soent 40pound buying two new ones cos he was growing too big for the others and he gets himself out of them! I hoped it would help solve the climbing problem, and keep him warm, instead every night i go and check him at least three times, and at least once will find him out of his sleeping bag, and with every thing off apart from his nappy,and its cold weather, which worries me stupid!!

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 14/12/2011 20:19

Have you been in touch with Womensaid? Ellen? Think they or CAB might have more up to date information on rehousing than your HV.

As for the advice she gave, if you had the room the mattress would have been a good idea. If you are really worried about the mirrors you could try getting him to sleep in a grobag as many babies find it harder to climb if they are wearing these. You could even remove the mirrors and put them in the loft if you think they are such a problem.

As for the being fast, your HV will see lots of babies this age and some, like my sister and DH both didn't start to walk until they were over 20 months. Nowt wrong with them, they just didn't do it until later so she probably was being friendly and thought he was fast.

ShutUppaYourFace · 14/12/2011 20:19

HV letters rarely have any sway with housing unless there are significant health problems. You need to explore your options with housing.

I can't see a problem with anything she has said to be honest Xmas Confused

WhoopsyLa · 14/12/2011 20:19

Coover the mirrors with Gaffa tape....right across the whole thing...overlaping...that stuff is as sticky as hell and even if it were smashed the glass would not fall.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 20:20

Then if I understand this right (and OP, it's getting confusing) you're not actually overcrowded if your sisters moved out. Your health visitor can;t write you a letter just because you want her to unfortunately. If you really want to be rehoused, it's your mum who needs to state her intention to kick you out. But if you're epilepsy is so bad then maybe it's actually better that you;re there so she can keep an eye on you?

sweetsantababy · 14/12/2011 20:20

YANBU, her advice sounds pretty crap. Hmm I don't really know what you can do except make the place safe and put DS on a small matress on the floor.

RE housing, I am surprised she wouldn't write a letter for you.

BreeVanDerTramp · 14/12/2011 20:27

Can you just break this down as I don't seem to be getting it?

Is your mum in one bedroom, you are in your own bedroom, your DS is in your sister's bedroom and your sister on the sofa?

How is an 18 month old able to take off a sleepsuit and vest with poppers underneath?

Can you remove the bedside table from the bedroom. I very much doubt the mirrored wardrobes could be easily smashed unless you leave DS alone with a hammer.

Perhaps a baby monitor would help so you could hear if he is hitting the glass?

Sorry if not much help, am rather confused by the whole thread.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 20:28

Bree, my ds used to strip totally naked at this age. OP, try putting his sleepsuits on backwards, then he can't get the poppers open.

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 14/12/2011 20:28

These days it looks like everbody wants to be spoon fed about day to day things. Can you not use some common sense to these everyday problems ? Why are you relying on a health visitor to sort these issues out ?

sweetsantababy · 14/12/2011 20:30

Aren't HV there to offer support, advice etc? Hmm

BreeVanDerTramp · 14/12/2011 20:31

fuckity I am amazed I struggle to get DS sleepsuits off DS has never removed his sleepsuit

Original poster
EllenandBump · 14/12/2011 20:31

I understand about my health being important but not my periods...i mean do they normally ask that sort of thing? He is 18months old now. my old health visitor never did, and yet they had my notes, they didnt ask me how my pnd was doing if i was still taking the meds or anything there?

My epilepsy is controlled but i twitch all night every night, and have doen for many years now, but other than that its stable. Mum has no room to put the double bed i am sleeping in, as its only a masionette, so no chance there, no garage or anything. Mum has stated her intention to kick me out.

OP posts:
sweetsantababy · 14/12/2011 20:32

Some times its hard to see the wood for the trees or prehaps OP doesn't have any much common sense? Grin

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 14/12/2011 20:32

Bree, my dd was a dream. Ds, a houdini who saw every piece of clothing, and his cot and buggy tbh, as a challenge to be escaped from. And he's pretty much always succeeded, the little terror darling.

Kayano · 14/12/2011 20:33

Doesn't sound too overcrowded then

Think your just annoyed about the letter and very dismissive of her as a result. Of she should mention your periods!