AIBU to ask you all to tell me whats the worst/funniest/most awful thing you have done whilst drunk?

[deburca]

Sorry but I need cheering up today and another post has some wonderful stories on this topic so I thought I would just ask everyone!

x

deb

'apparently' I jumped up and peed in the kitchen sink..nuff said

Me and a mate once decided it would be a really good idea to bed down in this electrical shed thingy behind a supermarket after a drunken night out. Like you do

Only it had one of those enormous fan vent thingies blowing dust around all night, which then settled on our unmoving drunken bodies.

I had to endure the 9am walk of shame through the town centre with a totally black front, and completely white back view (white crop top and white jeans- hey it was the 90's). I looked like some freaky hungover performance 'artistè'

When you wake up in a Police cell with a very vague recollection of why you are there,you know you've gone beyond the realms of a 'normal' drunk night out.

I have lots of amusing nights out but you had to be there and also pissed to find them funny.

I put maltesers down my friends pants, whilst he was bent over, he was very drunk, so completely unaware, next day my friend rang me, she was mortified as he apparently s@#t the bed, always makes me chuckle:)

Got really drunk whilst on AD's three years ago whilst staying in a hotel. Walked stark bloody naked through it into the lobby!

The kind woman put a bin bag on me and brought me back to my room.

I still want to die every time I remember it happened...

ad's + alcohol is not a good mix (hence me waking up in a police cell)

A previous heavynight out,I awoke in a fit of panic-where were my clothes? Searched everywhere,couldn't find them.Went to answer the doorbell to the postman and there by my front door was my clothes all neatly fold along with my shoes.God knows if anyone saw me -I shared the landing with 3 other flats.

Don't mix anti-d's and booze kids.It ain't fun.

I fell down the stairwell, that's right kids, the stair well, not the actual steps, of a friend's house in London. Got up. Slurred said "I'm fine!". Mates looked in horror at the bits of bone sticking out of my shoulder. The four inch surgery scar is an indelible reminder of that one....

She even cut little holes out in the bin bag for my arms and legs.

The shame of it!

I walked into the room demanding a very sleepy DH to tell me where he had been!

I'm ridiculous

Once took a shortcut through the park after spending my taxi money on booze,only to be confronted by a massive fence blocking my way.

Tried to find a way round it. No. Tried to climb over it.Despite removing my coat and shoes,no. So i dug my way under it, as you do.

Goes a bit hazy here but a kindly taxi driver saw me walking home with no shoes or coat (it was freezing and snowed later that night)and took me the last mile home for free.

Couldn't get in though as had left handbag and keys in park. Slept in the porch under a mound of ancient fur coats.

Woke in the morning, with the post in a neat pile next to my head

My mum made me return to park to look for my shoes and bag. No sign of them or the massive fence that would have blocked my path. Did however find that a 'fox' had tunneled into the aviary.

One of my friends took an actual fox home one night after a night on the sauce. His wife shat herself when she found it sat staring at her the next morning.

Oh, that's so funny, wish my DH would bring a fox home. < sets up a dog bed with cat toys for Foxy>

Hmm. About 33 years ago I put myself to bed on the white lines down the middle of Draycott Gardens, Chelsea; about 30 years ago I was dancing away in a nightclub not realising that the straps of my sundress had come undone! At about 22 I grew upp and never did anything silly ever again.

I went to a karaoke happy hour in the nineties with ex and his parents. The vodka was so cheap I drank many quadruples one after the other (nerves - pressure to sing. I'm a shite singer) and got into a very strange state where I felt fine in my head yet I couldn't actually stand.

Karaoke averted (hooray!) we all had to leave with prospective FIL carrying me over his shoulder. He was also a bit pissed and at one point his wife said something to him and he whirled around cracking my head off a lamppost. Ex said shouted at him to be careful so he turned the other way and whacked me off it again. Prospective MIL yelled at him again and I earned another thwack. It was classic slapstick.

FIL rang up the next morning and sheepishly asked me how my head was and I assumed he meant did I have a hangover. It was only when I had sobered up and was sitting in the hairdressers having bleach applied to my scalp and she asked me WTF I had done to myself that I remembered.

Dh and I, after a good session on the booze, decided to um play on dd's trampoline, after a few bounces we got frisky and .... anyway afterwards I fell asleap on dd's trampoline, I woke up the next morning.

Back in the days when I thought I could get away with a strapless top and no bra, I was sat on a friends shoulders, dancing away in a nightclub and couldn't work out why I was getting quite so much attention, until someone finally managed to tell me that my top was round my waist...

Worse still, and I still feel awful about this, I got the last train home after a night out, suddenly had to vomit, felt embarrassed so moved to the next carriage, five minutes later had to be sick again with no warning, again my drunken self decided to just walk away from the mess and go and sit in the next carriage where, just before my stop I suddenly had to be sick again. I felt so ashamed when I remembered the next morning, and still do today.

Back in the days when I thought I could get away with a strapless top and no bra, I was sat on a friends shoulders, dancing away in a nightclub and couldn't work out why I was getting quite so much attention, until someone finally managed to tell me that my top was round my waist...

Worse still, and I still feel awful about this, I got the last train home after a night out, suddenly had to vomit, felt embarrassed so moved to the next carriage, five minutes later had to be sick again with no warning, again my drunken self decided to just walk away from the mess and go and sit in the next carriage where, just before my stop I suddenly had to be sick again. I felt so ashamed when I remembered the next morning, and still do today.

I have only just opened this thread - I have hardly ever been drunk so I have no stories of my own - but I just had to hit reply to say that I am in hysterics and I'm not even 10 posts in yet.

Only managed to get to the attempt at hunting a duck in the river and can hardly breathe

When I was 14 I got drunk on vodka & coke. Woke up in the night & threw up in the middle of my duvet. Hazily concerned my parents would see it I turned the duvet over AND GOT BACK IN BED!

At our house warming party I drunk way too much of everything and spewed all over the bathroom floor with its nice new shiney gloss tiles so then slipped and fell putting my hands through the window smashing it and cutting my arms to shreads!

candy we thought all of our christmases had come at once! 99p for gin n tonic! Plus the place was empty so we pretty much had it to ourselves ... Probably a good job! Ahhhh to be young and stupid carefree ... I'm just glad I can put my experience to good use ha ha

The first time I ever got really really drunk was in the old red light district in Lisbon. I was staying with family friends and they decided to take us out to some tapas and tequila bars. I learnt the Macarena on a street corner and then vomited in the car on the way home - they had to sell the car eventually (despite my frantic and apologetic scrubbing the following morning) because it smelt so bad in the summer!
I was door bitch in a nightclub in Switzerland before having DS and was not used to the altitude vs alcohol issue when I first arrived. After two large G&T's I walked up to my new workmate and said "So you are the DJ? I suppose we are going to fuck then..." and we did - repeatedly for about a month. I did many other bad things that season - largely involving alcohol and men! I have recollections of going down the Cresta Run on a metal sign (Audi if memory serves) with two very handsome officers, diving off a balcony into the open arms of no less than 6 members of the British Army Cresta Team and spending a night having glass picked out of my back after the chap whose shoulders I had been sitting on fell off one table onto another in a bar...
I also ran through my village wearing nothing but wellies and a silk scarf with my best friend, in a similar state of undress. Oooh and there was the time that she pierced my ears and gave me a very lopsided bob with a massive shaven undercut

Oh God, just remembered waking up, completely bladdered, weeing into a mug, in a friend of a friend's room (luckily, she wasn't there - I had never even met her). I must have sleep walked and decided to pee in the mug. Unfortunately my bladder was bigger than the cup and I got wee on the floor, on my hands, on my pants...I then puked on her pillowcases and the next day I had to keep her flatmates out of the room while I desperately tried to clean up, totally hungover.

So funny, couldn't go to sleep till I finished reading. Will come back and share mine tomorrow, but their rubbish next to these.