AIBU to ask you all to tell me whats the worst/funniest/most awful thing you have done whilst drunk?

[deburca]

Sorry but I need cheering up today and another post has some wonderful stories on this topic so I thought I would just ask everyone!

x

deb

In uni all of three years ago we had random palm swab drug tests. I decided to stand on the copper's feet and demand he walk me home while I clung around his waist screeching 1,2 into his walkie talkie. When he prised me from around his waist I pick pocketed him for his little black book and told him if he didn't feel that he quite clearly wasn't any good at his job.

Although this thread is very funny I do not like the feeling of long-suppressed memories bubbling up to the surface that reading it induces.

A nice friend decided he better take me home as I was really drunk. On the way home in his car I announced I was going to be sick. He pulled over and I opened the door to be sick and them fell out and landed in it and couldn't get back up. Had to be hauled back into the car for rest of journey home, stinking!

only embarrassing thing i do when drunk is innitiate sex with dp while still asleep (some form of sleepwalking), and then wake up asking him WTF he's doing

killjoy Bupcakes I think most of these stories go back decades. Mine do. Well most of them.
So I refute the rather unneccesary 'sad little lady' comment.

When I was young, free and kraaazy, I tipped a man out of a (ground floor) window when I realised he was a twat and I didn't want him staying the night.

Myself and two flatmates wet ourselves laughing as he was knocking on the window for ages asking me to pass his hankerchief out the window.

Err I think Bupcakes is 'avin a laaaarf, dickie.

You DO know I'm kidding, right? I was just saving anyone else doing the sanctimonious posturing that usually shows up on these threads.

Just for good measure I'll chuck in a couple of mine...

Pole-dancing around a one-way sign on the Smallbrook Queensway (very busy dual-carriageway) in Birmingham and offering dances to passing people. Even worse, was only out on a quiet night with DH.

Telling a potential suitor that I had written a novel and been paid £500,000 as an advance. When pressed on what the novel was about, I told him that I was bound over in secrecy by "my publishers" until the release, due to potentially explosive material. He was really shocked and interested. Then after that he would quiz me on it every saturday night. I had to go along with it lest he realise I was a loon

Pretending to be french to attract men.

Too many to mention!

In the early hours of a drunken sunday morning i stole a ladder that was propped up outside my pub.

2 hours later i discovered i had stranded some poor man doing repairs to the flat roof next door

He did not know it was me that took the ladder so when i brought out my set of ladders (oh yes i had my own) and rescued him, he was very grateful and i wasnt about to drop myself in it. Then he kept turning up with free pizza! For a month

Oooh i will have the vegetarian with an extra helping of shame please.

When i was 16 my mate and i hooked up with some guys and we went back to theirs. I slept on sofa, woke up needing to pee and couldnt find the bathroom. It was a tiny terrace upstairs were two doors, one to each bedroom. No loo downstairs. No loo outside. i was very confused and desperate and i didnt want to interupt the sex noises or wake the other fella..... So i peed in a saucepan

Turns out the only bathroom was through the bedroom my mate and the bloke were?? Who designs a house like that??

I'm Irish bupcakes so if I didn't make a show of myself I would be letting the side down

Was in a house at university that has VERY steep stairs. Woke up and was actually quite worried that I was too drunk to get down them without falling and breaking my neck. So, of course it was fine to do a 'camping wee' on the carpet in the corner of my bedroom..... not even in a pint glass, what was I thinking?!

Pole danced round a pole in a taxi rank. Fell off.

Fell off numerous podeums, tables and speakers.

Walked round a club with my boob tube round my waist.

At a BBQ in summer I got shit faced, got my arse out then threw up down the wall. 30 minutes after my guests had arrived.

Leapfrogged over some bollards in the town centre but forgot to move my hands thus falling face first.

Threw up in fils sink.

Made a bowl out of my top so I could vomit in a taxi.

Sat in the middle of one of those small painted-on mini-roundabouts in the centre of town "directing the traffic." Wasn't too steady - even when sitting down - and slumped a bit. Can vaguely recall a car's bumper whistling past my ear. Oh, and I was dressed as a nun.

Oh there are soo many bad moments I am trying to forget or remember...Unsure which one it is!
Being at a wedding a little tipsy and tell one and all that I didn't want to sit beside my boss as he was a wee wifey always gossiping about everyone! then realised i had just been talking to his wife, who strangely enough agreed with me !
Being at a nite club in Israel and dancing on one of the platforms, then couldn't get down as I was then scared of heights! It was a roof top disco ! I ended up with one of the bouncers giving me a fireman lift off of it, as I spewed down his back ......... the shame....

Again in Israel being there for work and out with the lads as you do ! And then pooing myself and having to beg a lift home from one of them and talking very loudly to cover the poo smell.....

And another Israeli one, drinking aftershock and then sleeping on the sand dunes....they were too high to climb !!

God sorry Bupcakes
Bit defensive wasn't I? must be the booze

"Bit defensive wasn't I?"

Fucking were a bit.

In the words of that snout-faced little prick Mick Hucknell, if you don't know me by no-hoooow...

You sad little lady.

I got horrendously drunk in work about 8 years ago. So much so that I passed out in the work toilets and had to be taken to hospital by a colleague.

Thank all that's holy that it was towards the end of my contract and I didn't have to deal with the embarrasment for long.

I still live with the shame of it to this day.

When living in Munich, lost track of some friends at Oktoberfest. I knew which train they were taking home, so went to meet them there and say goodbye. Instead of saying goodbye, I jumped on the train and went home with them.

They were going to Switzerland. I had no passport with me. I ended up staying 5 days.

Reading through the new responses I remember getting "with" a seventeen yo when I was twenty four. I wasn't at all sure about it but my flatmate encouraged me because he could score for her for feminist reasons.

It really didn't end well. In fact it couldn't have been more embarrassing having someone swearing, crying and kicking their fucking SKATEBOARD around the car-park adjacent to your growed-up mortgaged house.

I didn't throw eggs and tomatoes out of the window from the same house a year later at utter fuckwit of a man, no siree

Yes well I have a HORRIBLE COLD as well

I've just remembered another one. Early 20's, first proper job, meeting with a well known national newspaper at Canary Wharf, getting obliterated on juice of the devil white wine, being given £20 to get home by the rather concerned aforementioned newspaper's Deputy Editor, and falling up the escalator to the DLR station in rush hour and landing on my face.

Oh how the long suppressed memories come bouncing back after a thread like this.

I got very drunk after work and left my bag on the bus. It contained the work keys, the safe key, my house keys, my car keys, my phone, my ipod, my laptop oh and £5000 in cash i was supposed to bank

Crying like a mad women i went to lost property the next day in sheer desperation and sat there, in a box of jumpers, scarves and brollies, was my bag. Complete with all my goodies and money!! I could not believe there was such an honest person to hand that treasure trove in.

Apparently the finder had looked through to find contact details to return it but as my mobile was dead they handed it in. I was gutted they hadn't left contact details as i would have given them a reward and lots of hugs and kisses. I would have been unbelievably screwed if they hadn't been so honest.

I offered to give my then DP (now DH) a blow job in the middle of a Pizza shop, on a night out with my best mate and her hubby (first time they had met DH).

I even got down on my knees and started fumbling for his zip . They all thought it was hilarious, even the guy who owned (and still owns) the pizza shop.

Fluerdebleurgh- were you in Bath when you had your toes sucked. I met a tramp.with a toe fettish there.

Many, many hideously embarrassing incidents.

Fortunately, I am such an old gimmer that the worst of them occurred in the days before camera phones. I wouldn't have wanted there to be any photographic evidence of me nearly burning a friend's house down by falling asleep on the floor with a fan heater on full blast underneath my blanket. Or getting off with an old family friend of my mum and dad. Poor bloke. He really didn't know what had hit him. And neither did anyone else in the packed pub where I was sat at the bar, snogging his face off. Or getting so wasted at a works party that I shagged TWO of the temps. Oh I could go on. And on and on.

Lived in the next town to my parents at 21. Had a very hard day, invited a couple of friends round and started playing 'Dare'.Medicinal wine was involved. I had to ring my Dad and convince him I'd been arrested and he needed to come and bail me out.Totally forgot to ring back and explain the game. Was pulled out of stupor by Dad and a Policeman banging on my door.