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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask you all to tell me whats the worst/funniest/most awful thing you have done whilst drunk?

178 replies

deburca · 28/11/2011 10:18

Sorry but I need cheering up today and another post has some wonderful stories on this topic so I thought I would just ask everyone!

x

deb

OP posts:
darksideofthemooncup · 30/11/2011 02:32

I was a waitress in a diner, a new assistant manager joined us, she is 'in' with area management and after 3 weeks she and I have a drink after work, we get on and she invites me out on our next night off with the proviso that I can stay at hers as her landlord is away so I can sleep in his brand new bed.
So we go out, we have a lovely time, drunk as lords. In the middle of the night I get up and go to the loo, I am busting so it is the most satisfying wee ever.
Then I wake up. In a pool of my own piss.
This happened 20 years ago and I still cringe myself inside out when I think about it.

FromGirders · 30/11/2011 08:45

actually lol at "mummy fell down the Christmas tree"

loopylou6 · 30/11/2011 10:32

This thread needs to go in classics. I've genuinely lol'd at a fair few of these.

TheRealMrsHannigan · 30/11/2011 10:38

Laughed raucously at a fellow drunk tripping over, then promptly walked into a waist high fence and went right over it.

Rang 'Gary' from my phone, yelled down the phone that he was a a complete w@nker for standing up my mate, had a massive rant, hung up to then realise 'Gary' was actually my manager at the Uni student bar where I worked part time and not the Gary that stood up my friend.

TheRealMrsHannigan · 30/11/2011 11:48

The most embarrassing was probably the very first weekend my boyfriend (now DH) came to stay with me at Uni. We went to a vodka bar, and he can drink alot without really ebing affected, I matched him drink for drink...needless to say I was very affected.

It was raining so he put his big hooded coat on me to walk back to my flat, the arms were really long for me and I was wandering drunk along the quayside giggling like a loon saying 'I'm ET...ET phone home'

When we got back to my flat, I went into the shower room took off my socks, opened the door and threw them at him, then did the same with my jeans. Came wandering out in my top and thong, fell on the bed and passed out. It was about 10pm.

About an hour later I sat up and puked all over the bed, poor DH held me by the hair over the toilet bowl while I ouked, then stripped the bed, re-made it with clean sheets and tucked me up in bed. Blush

MalibuStac · 30/11/2011 14:12

Walking downstairs in a nightclub when I fell arse over tit, I got up at the bottom did a gymnast pose and said tad ah bet you can't do that to the people laughing at me.

Got flung out of a club after drinking a butterscotch shot and promptly threw it back up then had the cheek to argue with the bouncer that it wasn't me.

Snogging a guy in a bus stop in between being sick, phoned my aunt to pick me up and promptly buggered off.

Lots of falling, sleeping in toilets. I blame the shots.

Very funny thread.

TroublesomeEx · 30/11/2011 14:17

Went to see a band with my friend and thought we'd make a day of it.

Started drinking at around 11am. Got absolutely plastered. Spent ages in a quiet pub slagging the band off really loudly (we didn't actually like them!) only to realise the group of men sitting at the bar were said band.

Fell asleep on the floor in a toilet cubicle in the club, missed the entire gig and just staggered back out in time to hear them saying something along the lines of they'd like to say they'd been made to feel very welcome but they hadn't. Blush

TriesReallyHard · 30/11/2011 15:23

Twice on the same night I fell over some speakers backwards at a disco that my parents and pils were at.
The reason they were there is it was my wedding.
I was so badly bruised that a lady on honeymoon took me aside and kindly asked me if everything was ok :(

huffinpuffinmuffin · 30/11/2011 15:27

Just about to kiss a date for New Year's and started to throw up all over him. Too much too drink before the countdown!

Megatron · 30/11/2011 15:39

Climbed over a wall with my friend to take a shortcut through the cemetry home except it was the wrong wall and was next door. Said wall was actually about 8 foot and I fell and broke my leg while friend got stuck on top of the wall screeching to all and sundry. I was wearing a turban and a tutu and she was dressed as a bat.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 15:55

3rd date with handsome hunk so was necking sipping the wine whilst getting ready to steady the nerves. Changed into an all in one sort of catsuit thing.

He knocked the door, brought him in and offered him a glass of plonk. Had a betsit at the time so decided to graciously give him the sofabed to sit on and park myself seductively on the floor. Moved my leg up to pose provocatively and the biggest trump came a ROARING out [embarrassed]

DooinMeCleanin · 30/11/2011 16:02

My sister and I ran out of mixer and fags during one very, long, very drunken night. We decided to stumble to the local shop. Whilst in the shop I loudly told my sister she must act sober because the lady serving knew my best friend and they were very proper and religious, cue raucous laughter from my sister, who decided to demonstrate her sobriety by starting to fence with a baguette from the nearby bread stand.

We ended up having to buy the baguette. We also bought some garlic and butter and some pasties. Telling everyone who listened that garlic baguette and cheese pasties were a balanced meal.

Upon being served we asked if the lady knew where bugs went during the winter? If they died then how come they come back every summer. Cue more uncontrollable giggling.

Not so bad, I hear you all say. And you're right. It's not. Except this happened at 10am last Sunday morning Blush, not 10/15 years ago during my teens. I have only just dared venture back to the shop today.

Zensation · 30/11/2011 16:04

I sat on my friends face and did a massive squelchy fart. She was actually sick.

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 16:08

Oh and poo-ed outside boyfriends house - he was inside drunk as a sack himself and didn't hear the door bell He lived out in the sticks so couldn't get home, it was also January and snowing.

Peed on a train seat.

Blush
StaceymAloneForver · 30/11/2011 16:16

oh fuzzynaval you jsut brought back memories of me age 15 and extremely stoned drunk (both Blush) on a bus where i had to wee on the seat Blush it was about 4.30 pm

oh i wish i hadn't remembered that! Blush some more

fuzzynavel · 30/11/2011 16:26

Glad I'm not the only one Staceym! Grin Mind you, in your defence you were 15 whist in my case it was nearer 30 Blush

DaveHedgehog · 30/11/2011 16:40

I'm in stitches at some of these! Some that I can still (unfortunately) remember...

Went out on the piss with friend, who was going out with my then boyfriend's best mate, who he also shared a house with. We became spectacularly plastered and on the way back to our boyfriends' house, somehow picked up a very creepy bloke who followed us into the house. Friend became scared when he wouldn't leave and woke up our BFs to get them to help. They found creepy bloke trying to get off with me, whilst I was throwing up in the loo... Apparently he DID NOT want to leave and was convinced he was on a promise. BF was none too happy with me in the morning!

Came home after a heavy night, got into bed with above boyfriend and promptly threw up everywhere. Woke up very confused as to why I was lying on a damp, bare mattress with no duvet and no boyfriend.

Had a one night stand with a man dressed as a Christmas tree. He even had a star on his head and baubles dangling from his ears. I seem to remember giggling to myself at my 'hilarious' chat up line 'Oooh can I feel your balls? They're so shiny and smooooth!' Blush

Became strangely obsessed whilst drunk with the fact that a friend always had a builder's bum and discovered that her arse crack started far further up her bum than mine. Compared arse cracks with several other friends and marvelled at how different they all were. Posed for a photo with friends, displaying our arse cracks in height order.

TroublesomeEx · 30/11/2011 16:51

I once wee-ed on a bus seat on a late night journey home.

It's why I would never catch the bus - ever Blush

I'd love to see that photo Dave...

TroublesomeEx · 30/11/2011 16:52

I love how I started this thinking, erm....

and how other people's stories have brought so many joyful memories flooding back.

Thank you!

deburca · 01/12/2011 19:52

Oh ladies, was showing this in the office today - havent laughed to much in years! lol

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 01/12/2011 19:54

I threw up into a sofa, in the middle of a street in handsworth

we came out of a really weird really hectic party and there was a sofa dumped in the middle of the street, so I sat on it, fell through because the springs had gone, and threw up into the cavity under the seat cushion

redexpat · 01/12/2011 21:19

Shouted at a gorgeous gay male for "not being in the vagina business" Blush

CheerfulYank · 01/12/2011 21:38

My friend and I got locked out of her house and slept in a pile of leaves. I remember asking her if we should snog, for some reason... Hmm And many involving men, which we shall not enter into.

But the worst, the absolute f&cking worst...my mom, brother and I traveled 1,000 miles to see my grandfather as he was very, very ill and in the hospital. On the night he got home my brother and I got rip-roaring tanked. I tried to get him to agree we should go to our other grandparents', so I could curl up in a heap on the bed and pass out. He insisted we go see our grandfather.

We went in and my fu&kwit of a brother makes a beeline for the bathroom and locks himself in. I sit on the couch, trying not to look drunk. I had a cold, started coughing...and vomited up a basket of bar peanuts and God knows how many vodka-crans. Masses of bright red, chunky puke, on my grandfather's white carpet, as he sits there with his oxygen tank . My mother damn near murdered me.

Oh God the shame . Blush

iklboo · 01/12/2011 23:41

I once asked a gay guy to be my beard to get rid of a bloke who was pestering me. He told me I was a good snog for a woman Blush

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