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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a fair compromise

177 replies

dealer · 15/10/2011 20:36

There's something wrong with our telly. I don't know whether it's the telly, or the freeview or what, it just malfunctions sometimes. I very rarely watch it, so I'm not bothered but I understand everyone else does.

So dh wants to sort it, I tell him that's fine, just figure out what needs repairing/replacing and sort it. He wants to buy a new much larger TV and get SKY, without actually knowing what's wrong so it's obviously just an excuse. I think SKY would be a massive waste of money and will cause arguements with the kids, but if it'll really make him happy then ho-hum, we can afford it. But I really, really don't want a massive TV in our front room.

He keeps getting the kids to 'vote' on whether they want a big telly, thus easily outnumbering me and making me out as an ogre when I veto it, which I'm annoyed about. They also keep pointing out that I never watch it, which is true but we have a small house and I will still have to have it flickering away at me all the time. I have sometimes found other people's tellies have given me headaches.

So I've told him he can have SKY if he really want it but no big telly. So he's done nothing and spends the evening moaning at me that I'm so tight and won't let him spend money on it every time it goes wrong. Which isn't true, if it's the TV he can go straight out tonight and buy himself a similar sized TV if he so wishes.

OP posts:
whackamole · 15/10/2011 20:39

I don't know what it is about wanting a huge tv with men. OH is like that, despite having seen his dad buy the biggest tv for the smallest room, rendering it practically unwatchable.

YANBU. And that it a very fair compromise.

MangoMonster · 15/10/2011 20:43

Sometimes repairing a tv can be more expensive than getting a new one, for some bewildering reason.

HollywoodAgentForTheLivingDead · 15/10/2011 20:45

I'm not in to big tellies either, but only because it'd show up how small our front room is Grin

Is there any reason you think you should have the final say on the matter?

You're going to be biased aren't you?

He's a big lad now and able to make an adult decision about getting a new telly.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 20:46

That's fine, he can buy a new one. The last one came from freecycle or something anyway. I don't care, just not a much bigger one.

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 15/10/2011 20:47

I was completely against the big telly scenario until DH actually went and bought one... now I love it. Blush

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 20:48

The reason I think I should have the final say is because of the headaches, I think that trumps desire for big tvs.

He gets the final say on sky because it won't really affect me, so he can do what he likes, despite the fact that I think it's a waste.

OP posts:
Trills · 15/10/2011 20:48

It's not really a compromise, is it though? You are saying "no big TV, and that is it"

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 20:50

But he won't actually go and get sky, just keeps moaning that he's not allowed to do anything just because of the big tv thing. And most things in the house are bought by him, because most things I don't give 2 hoots about.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 15/10/2011 20:50

yanbu

he gets the SKY he wants, you get to have a smaller tv. sounds fair to me

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 20:52

My way - no tv, no sky
His way - big tv, sky
Compromise - no tv, yes to sky

Why's that not a compromise.

Especially since I would like a smaller TV than we have now, or maybe no TV.

OP posts:
Shakey1500 · 15/10/2011 20:53

Our washing machine broke down recently and we went to Currys' to buy a new one. Ended up with new washer, a 50" tv AND a sky hd thing.

The 50" tv looks ridiculously big in our small ish living room BUT I knew this would be the case and it gave me some extra weight behind the "we need a bigger house" discussion from me.

Have to say, I'm loving sky and am still in awe of sky+

I've come a long way from beta max Grin

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 20:56

A couple of years ago he bought a large tv and set it up.

I hated it and insisted it went back after a couple of days. I found I was hiding in the bedroom the whole time to avoid it. It's the flickery thing I hate and does my eyes in, but everyone I've said this to doesn't know what I'm talking about.

OP posts:
LittleMissFlustered · 15/10/2011 20:58

I think it's an ideal compromise. Stick to your guns. There is no real reason to have a hideously gargantuan tv. He's already proven his manhood by fathering kids, the tv size isn't going to add or detract from thatGrin

LittleMissFlustered · 15/10/2011 21:00

I understand dealer. I get migraines and they can be triggered by lights flickering at a certain frequency. If I am in the prelude-to-pain phase the tv makes things worse.

Purplebuns · 15/10/2011 21:01

I couldn't be without Sky now and our TV is 32" which is considered small by many crazy people but I think it is big, but not too big. There is nothing to say you have to get a 50"er. Also, Sky does look loads better on a decent TV especially with the free HD channels.

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:06

I would actually agree to a slightly larger tv, if I could be sure that the flickery thing wasn't going to be a problem. Some tvs seem worse than others.

The problem being that the very act of going into a tv shop with their multiple simultaneous flickering screens sets me off in the first place, so I don't know how to compare.

But I don't think I should have to anyway. I've already agreed to an ongoing massive waste of money that I won't benefit from, and will have even more problems refereeing screen time. Why should I feel pressured to agree to another complete waste of money?

OP posts:
Rudawakening · 15/10/2011 21:06

With big TVs you need to be able to sit a fair distance back from them to get the ideal picture quality or it will do your eyes in. This is according to my DH you did scientific research into the perfect size tv for our living room. So unless you have enough distance then I too would say no to the big tv.

clairefromsteps · 15/10/2011 21:10

What is it with men and massive TVs? Get Sky, because some of the channels actually show some OK stuff and the benefits of plonking the kids in front of CBeebies/CBBC for an hour when you need to read the paper make dinner cannot be underestimated. However, you'd be better off spending the money buying a smaller TV that shows a really good, sharp picture than the same money on a massive TV where all the money has gone on the size of the screen but the picture looks all pixelated and shite.

ScarahStratton · 15/10/2011 21:11

Your DH is right rude, the bigger the screen the further away you need to sit. OP would the type of screen make a difference?

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:11

We have cbeebies at the moment on freeview, and believe me it's well used.

OP posts:
Trills · 15/10/2011 21:12

I think we can only determine is YABU if you tell us how big your current TV is and how big a TV he wants. Some people's idea of a "huge" TV is actualy a perfectly normal sized TV...

Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:12

Type of screen? I have no idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
dealer · 15/10/2011 21:14

I think we have about 24 inch at the mo.

He wants the biggest he can get away with.

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 15/10/2011 21:15

It might be worth finding out dealer. And Sky's not so bad, the DDs watch a lot of the programmes on the documentary channels.

AbbyAbsinthe · 15/10/2011 21:15

I think you want your own way and you're using the headaches as an excuse. Sorry to be blunt, but I personally think the majority should rule in these kinds of household decisions.